Tough day yesterday was meditating at every opportunity, first time in a while i thought I don’t care buy wine, did not leave me all night, but had my sons room to do. I even shed some tears which is not me.
The job is impacting my mental health, mostly my own anxiety issues and fear of failure or looking stupid. All my feel good hobbies drop away in the week as so exhausted. But I know I should be getting some more support training, 4 days a week at home and if I get stuck and send an email to team for some support, no reply, very isolating. So today I will ask my manager for a meeting to talk through my concerns, ask for training. I have made a decision to look for work in Homeless sector as I loved it, but shall stay here until I find something. I don’t need financial worries as well.
Apologies for my constant daily ramblings regarding my work but it’s consuming my brain and it sort of rationalise it when I type it out.
@mno that photo is stunning with the colour of those leaves love Autumn for colours. Swimming stuff, wetsuits, lifejacket, floats, dryrobe list goes on.
@Dmcg1987 on 50 days @Olivia screaming in woods sounds a perfect way to vent, wishing you a improved sleep. @TeamMeyer and @ShesGotMoxie congrats on 90 days great work. @CATMANCAM well done with your vaping, I need to kick this it’s hard, you do have great will . @Chiron that view is stunning I could gaze at that all day. @icebear sorry about your wallet, so much inconvenience to deal with.
It’s a new day, let the battle commence, wishing you all a good sober day, my morning read on here helps so much, centering, thank you
I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. You’ll never know how much you have helped me. I used to think if you can keep trying and often getting a good run of days together and other times just a few and you still had the courage to show up and be honest when all I thought was how pathetic I looked, if you could do it then the least I could do is try and do what you do. Luckily just for today it’s stuck so thank you for that. It’s never over though bc even last night I had a drinking dream
So coming up to 14 months and had a rare drink dream last night but this one was different bc it was the first time that even in my dreams I told myself I don’t drink and got over it. So now even my subconscious is on the same wave length as my waking conscious and my spiritual conscious. It’s taken over 400 days to feel complete and I could still drink tommorow yeah I know what I am and acceptance is the key. Have a great day sober people.
It sounds like you are having the mirror image of my relationship. My wife wasn’t impressed with the time that I spent on here. She felt that I was being indoctrinated into a cult. Hilarious really. I was trying to escape the drinking cult that she remains in. She also thought that I was being convinced that I was worse than I actually was. I think she just missed her drinking buddy.
I stuck with it and she has started to understand how important it is to me and how good it is for me. It’s been a challenge, though.
Good morning all!
My check in today is to share that my decision to leave drinking behind is bringing me peace, one day at a time. Last night I wound up spending some extra time on an issue with work. I didn’t have to do that, but it was a good thing to do. I was able to be helpful to someone in need. And part of my willingness to give that time was because I wasn’t in the late afternoon rush to get home to my wine. I was able to be present in my task, without the call of the whiner in my head.
Perhaps I should call that voice the “winer” instead. Hehehehe
It was a small thing, but something I want to hold close, the feeling of calm presence because I’m choosing not to listen to the winer anymore.
Today is a full day of teaching followed by family conferences. 12 hours, here we go!
Checking in at the end of day 312.
Been a busy day/week in work. Would have definitely rewarded myself with a drink in the before time. (Sorry @M-be-free49, I now use that as my own).
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight.
Ha. You are definitely my alter ego. That’s the busy day I’ve been referring to. A full day of teaching. A meeting at break, two meetings at lunch, and then 21 Year 13 PTSC meetings after school.
More importantly, though, loving feeling more present in everything I do. Having more time, energy and clarity of thought to do some of the important things that we do in our job properly.
Checking in Day 99 survived the night though it was rocky… had mad cravings for stimulants and my crazy mind had me going to take them if my boyfriend brought any over. He did not, he knows of my addiction, works in addictions.
So really it was just my mind fantasizing he’d bring over some coke or something, but what worries me is I was going to take it and mind convinced me not to call my sponsor. Aargh crazy mind.
This just shows me I’ve still got to be on major guard and not around any stimulants.
Day 38 I’m determined to focus on the positives today. Better sleep at night. Waking up without a hangover. Not needing a bucket of coffee to jump start me. Enjoying a 2-3 mile morning walk or run. Steadier hands for doing my artisan work. 5 pound weight lose. New friends here that kindly support and help me.
Morning, all! Haven’t been on here in awhile so I thought I’d check in and let everyone know I’m alive and still doing well. Today is my 22 month sober anniversary!! Woot Woot!
Things are going well in life - I’m happy, working, am coming up on the 5-month anniversary with an amazing woman I’ve fallen in love with, and 2022 looks to be an amazing year for me!!!
So great to see so many familiar names & faces on here and so many amazing milestones! Congrats to everyone!
Day 2. I have spent the last several days 1/2 in and 1/2 out of a decision to be sober. I have poured out a ton of beer this week. Start/stop, start/stop, start/stop. Two days ago I vividly pictured that little temper-tantrum girl and “heard” @anon74766472 say, “Yes, now go and pick her up!”
It’s definitely all about that little girl. She’s never known true love and acceptance and didn’t have any tools. She just rages and rages, sometimes silently, just begging for help, for attention, for love. I will never stop aiming for sobriety. I will find healing for her there.
“[It’s] like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” - EL Doctorow
I am really glad you guys are my backseat drivers.
consuming my brain and it sort of rationalise it when I type it out.
list goes on.
. @Chiron that view is stunning I could gaze at that all day. @icebear sorry about your wallet, so much inconvenience to deal with.
and well done to you, can see how committed you are in your journey for sobriety and super proud of you.
yeah I know what I am and acceptance is the key. Have a great day sober people.
