Checking in day 4 had a good day again today! Just debating what to do about plans I had made with friends this weekend and over next few weeks which involve drinking. Can I do these sober, will I still enjoy it. Probably need to not go to one of them which will maybe be too tempting to ‘just have a few’ hmmm 
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That sucks, friend. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I hope you find that pause button. For me, one of the things that was a turning point was a mantra to repeat to myself and then a voice memo to myself that I could listen to if I wanted to buy booze. It felt goofy as heck, but it sort of snapped me out of the urge. 
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@anon27760155 save travels 
have an amazing time 
@Bobby38 congrats on double digits 
@mamador welcome back 
@Nowenbrace sorry for your loss 
congrats on 4 months
@Charlie_C sorry you’re having a hard time, sending strength
@TripnMN congrats on 90 days
@Mosimu5 congrats on getting the job
@MolotovMoxie congrats on 90 days
@Rogefather welcome congrats on 78 days
464 days no alcohol.
432 days no cocaine.
25 days no nicotine.
Had support group this morning, heavy stuff about relationships and boundaries, areas where I really struggle, seemed everyone else did too. I’ve known since I was a teenager that I have trouble in these areas, also with assertiveness, but I’ve always been so isolated that I don’t really have relationships in my life where I can explore/practice these things.
Had another phonecall today and this time it was a Doctor about the long term psychdynamic psychotherapy, we are meeting online on 26th, the same day as my physio appointment, so I’m very excited about that day now really pleased to be starting both the treatment for my feet, and the therapy this side of the new year, what blessings.
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Love that.
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Checking in Day 105 feeling fantastic, got up at reasonable time and went for a walk. Phone call to sponsor I had to confess I had been keeping something from her- my upcoming gastric sleeve surgery.
I thought she would come down on me cause I’m still in early recovery etc but she didn’t, we just talked safety round the narcotics. She was just glad I hadn’t relapsed I think.
Today driving a fellow addict across town to deliver some baby stuff for her daughter, but of service.
Everyone have a clean and sober day!
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Day 4!!! Woot Woot!!
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Good Morning, Beautiful People!!! Day 5 - I woke up this morning with so much gratitude. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that straight away. It’s a beautiful day to be sober. Sending peace and strength to everyone for another successful sober day 
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I’m only at day 44 so my experience is a bit limited. When in doubt if a situation will put you’re sobriety in jeopardy, don’t go. You need to baby your sobriety and nurture it like a newborn baby. It’s fragile and easily harmed.
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Thank you 
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Yay! Double digits! Congratulations! I’m on my way there too!
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Midday checkin
Relaxed this morning until noon. Finally got up and started cleaning the apartment. Getting lots done today. Think I’m just trying to distract myself from using thoughts. The urge is there… its kind of like a shadow… just sort of follows me around. Isn’t really intense but I know it’s there. So im not giving it any power over me. Crack cocaine (or any drug for that matter) holds no value in my life and doesn’t provide anything good for me. Not going to entertain it.
So im just going to keep cleaning n wait for hubby to get home.
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Late check in. I’m just totally and utterly shocked by these numbers. 1 in every 3300 Americans died of an OD in a year’s time. That’s more than died in traffic accidents and shootings combined. 100,000 Deaths. So sad. Please take care. Please carry naloxone and know how and when to use it.
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Great job on 4 days.
For me personally, I didn’t go out with people that were drinking for quite some time. Those first few weeks/month were hard enough, without being around friends that were drinking.
Good luck with your decision.
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Ahh whats wrong with me!! How can I just be so stupid, to drink, again. Thinking I got this, its all good. No its not, how can you tell yourself that you stupid *****. Im seriously messed up. I was at the doctor today, to get some days off work to get on track, I never told my real alcoholproblems because Im embarresed, I feel stupid and weak to have this kind of problem, but I have told him my concern for my liver, and he did bloodwork for it and it was nothing. I really love my doctor, he is so good and helped me alot when my anxiety started and got all out of hand, I was calling several times a week and he always had time for me. Even when I called ER scared to death and if he was working, he had time for me. And then today at the end of my appointment he told me he was quitting. Rigth then I got a hughe press in my chest, I wanted to cry, I want to cry Just writing it now. Im so sad losing him, but he want to move to his homecountry to his grandkids and I get that and are happy for him, but Im still sad losing him, and when I left he took my shoulder and said he was happy to have had me as a patient, I could almost not hold my tears when I walked and said thank you for being my doctor.
Wohaaa that got long, sorry. Anyway Im done, the drinking and shit, the horrible person I get. If this dont work this time around Im giving up, “turning myself in”.
Thank you
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I was glad at first to get an evening job because I figured I’d be able to get things done during the day. But I don’t really enjoy my mornings because this clock is always ticking in the back of my mind. Like, “6 hours till work, 3 hours till work…” and so on.
I hate sitting at home, but I feel rushed if I go anywhere. 
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…1335. Spending the next few days in Cocoa Beach, Flordia with Ms. Monkey. Truly is a a blessing of Sobriety. With out it, I wouldnt be here.
Cute little Airbnb on the beach. Life is better sober. I remember the first few weeks, thinking life was over with out alcohol, thinking it would be boring. It’s the exact opposite.
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How about we start with what’s right with you? Write a good long list about all the things you are, what good things you’ve done, what you are proud of. Then, like many have done on this forum, write out all the reasons you don’t want to drink. Are you really “seriously messed up”? Or are you just disappointed in yourself? Because it matters. What you say to yourself - matters. It’s way up there on the most important things list. We spend more time with ourselves than with anyone else. So, we need to be kind (AND realistic) to/with ourselves.
Stop berating. Get up. Shake and a wiggle and get back at it.
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Yes! Our DOC, does a good job at making us focus on our perceived short comings.
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@Teapots there are lots of threads here about dreams - like this one for example:
Search “dreams” in the search bar & you’ll find many more.
Glad to hear today passed safely for you. Keep it up, one day at a time.
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