Checking in 51 days sober.
My granny is in the hospital tonight. She fell off a ladder painting in her house and shattered her femur. My g-pa passed away in August, he wasn’t there to help her. She is out of surgery and my aunt will be there in the morning to check on her. I just want her to be okay. Praying and not drinking tonight.
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I’m so sorry to hear this, I hope she heals up quickly!
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Poor granny, sending love her way. 
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The Fentanyl is killing so many people here in Minnesota it is scary
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Proud of you!
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None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes. Thanks for sharing what happened and for taking responsibility for it. “Love never fails”.
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Oh yeah the big 90 I do love that milestone, congratulations your doing amazing 
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Don’t give up this is a journey that has ups and downs some days suck so bad and then you do the right thing and something good comes back to you and you realize why we are trying so had to be better people.
I relate to so much you said. I find myself lying about my using history for no reason. I usually tell people I had two years sober before and I don’t know why. I guess I wanted people to think I could do this because I have before. It’s the shame and guilt hitting me in the gut. I also have terrible anxiety like most of us do. I have been trying to get comfortable with being uncomfortable if that makes sense. I put myself in situations Im not always comfortable like meetings the gym I even did a job at the football stadium with 30 thousand plus people. I’m still having days I don’t leave my room but I keep pushing myself. I am taking medication for anxiety and haven’t had panic attacks since I also work with my therapist and do what she ask even when it sounds silly. And it always helps.
Just don’t give up because we all deserve to be happy
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That is so awesome Charlie! Congrats! You must feel free er and lighter now without that weighing on you.
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Fear of doing another day 3 had a big impact on my recovery, eventually I couldn’t cope with another one so I decided to stick with the pain of discipline and not the pain of regret. Well done I know how hard that was and I’m really proud of you.
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I am so glad you were able to face this head on own your part and move forward sounds exactly like recovery to me.
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U actually have no idea how much ur post means to me cuz im super emotional right now. Been arguing with myself all day about how to manipulate my money on friday so I can use. And I dont want to start over. I dont want to feel like crap the next day. I wanna see the double digits soon and triple digits in the future. I needed to read that. Thank u so much. Ur post really impacted me.
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Hey everyone checking in day 91 I stopped trying to figure out when I stopped smoking but it felt great when someone asked me for a cigarette and I said I don’t smoke. I’m getting excited to take the house manager job at one of our sober houses. And school in January. I am trying to stay busy until then but I guess I have been doing a good job at that between meetings the gym and programming at my sober house. I’m going to try and get a jump on Christmas shopping this weekend but maybe I should wait until next week black Friday. Not really my thing but maybe syber Monday.
Good to see you @RosaCanDo missed being called Amigo 
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So get on here and talk or do an online meeting bc the last place people like us should be left is with our own thoughts. Where did your best thinking ever get you? Same place mine used to I bet. Step out of yourself for a little bit and have a watch of your thoughts bc they’re quite laughable from the outside looking in. As soon as I think about anything like that I just smile and move on. You can do this 
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Thanks for sharing and I’m so glad things have worked out, or should I say that you guys have worked things out.
Good for you for owning your mistakes!
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My best thinking gets me in some pretty messed up situations. Hating myself, regret, shame, debt, arguing, jail, or potentially dead etc etc. It’s like a heavy weight was lifted when I read ur post. I’m really okay 
idk why I didn’t come on earlier and say something. I guess I knew what u would all say lol and even tho I wanted the help, maybe my addict side didn’t want to hear it. And I’m glad I’m listening. Cuz I’m not using fri. Money is going to go where it needs to go. Thank u so so much
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I’m decorating the Christmas tree right now with some very special people. I want to live. I’m sooo done with drugs. This means more to me than any drug
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Evening checkin Day 4
All day that addict thinking was following me around like a damn shadow just itching at me to use. The morning was okay. But then by the afternoon I had spent alot of time thinking about ways to manipulate my money on Friday so that I could use. I slowly started forgetting my “Whys” of quitting. I read a comment and something about that comment to me made something click in my head. My using thoughts are completely gone. Idk what it was. But I ended up crying a good cry and I’m so damn thankful for TS. Bcuz I probably would’ve used on Friday. I don’t think me on my own would’ve been enough to stay clean. I want to live a full life, have money, have food in my cupboards, I want to be able to sleep, I want to make good memories, I want to celebrate holidays with family, I don’t want drugs in my life anymore. I really really don’t. Wow… im SO grateful for TS 
Instead of using, I decorated the Christmas tree with my loved ones. Going to bed clean and sober tonight. Will be Day 5 in a few hours. Much love 
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