Evening checkin Day 4
All day that addict thinking was following me around like a damn shadow just itching at me to use. The morning was okay. But then by the afternoon I had spent alot of time thinking about ways to manipulate my money on Friday so that I could use. I slowly started forgetting my “Whys” of quitting. I read a comment and something about that comment to me made something click in my head. My using thoughts are completely gone. Idk what it was. But I ended up crying a good cry and I’m so damn thankful for TS. Bcuz I probably would’ve used on Friday. I don’t think me on my own would’ve been enough to stay clean. I want to live a full life, have money, have food in my cupboards, I want to be able to sleep, I want to make good memories, I want to celebrate holidays with family, I don’t want drugs in my life anymore. I really really don’t. Wow… im SO grateful for TS 
Instead of using, I decorated the Christmas tree with my loved ones. Going to bed clean and sober tonight. Will be Day 5 in a few hours. Much love 
First 10 days are the worst, by the end of tomorrow you will be half way there. Just keep taking it 24 at a time…
You
Are
Slaying
This.
Day 108. The week is going well — busy but good. I’m getting excited for Thanksgiving! How are people feeling about the holiday coming up? I am ready for a sober Thanksgiving. I’ve got a recipe for a festive mocktail I made last year for Christmas and am going to make it again for a fun non-alcoholic option to look forward to.
Thanks so so much 
I’m almost 1/2 to double digits! I can’t believe it. Thank u for AWLAYS being there for me. Hope ur doing well too!
Day 509. Went to addiction clinic for my monthly blood/drug test and talked with my nurse. While waiting for my adhd evaluation she thinks I could benefit from a mild dose of antideprassants. Feels weird bc I dont feel depressed, but apparently they should help with the anxiety I have from procrastination/lack of focus. She still needs to talk to my doctor but I said ok. So lets see.
We got keys today to our new apartment - half a month before we actually were supposed to, and rent free! The apartment is amazing. Happy about the move.
Date actually called me today just to chat on the phone. So refreshing, instead of just texting. This makes me happy too.
I am also successfully changing my internal clock ahead of the trip on Saturday 
Day 47 was a challenge, but a win. Started out good, got a 2 mile walk in this morning, beautiful drive into work and discovered several relatable “gems” in my self help audio book. And it was a very productive day at work and squeezed in another mile walk at lunch. So far so good. Got home, hubby and I did our recap the day ritual. I had to go outside and deal with misbehaving barking dogs and by the time I was able to get everything under control, I came inside feeling just angry at my husband that he didn’t come outside and help when the barking got more out of control. Angry at the dogs and him. I wanted a drink. This was the first time I had been angry since I quit. What I found was coming off that anger ledge was a lot quicker when sober, I remember getting angry before and alcohol just fueled it longer and I would tuck it in and hold resentment and anger in together and probably talk under my breath, hint at what was wrong, etc. for days holding onto it! Tonight he came around the corner and asked how the dogs were and my response was direct- Did you hear Piper start in? Yes. Did you hear me yell for your help? No. Okay, I am just really angry right now and need a few minutes to decompress.
And that was it. 5 minutes later I was good. I have found my brain is clearer and I can better verbalize (calmly) my needs.
Wow that’s huge!!! What an eye opener eh? How we respond and react when sober… its amazing! Good for you! Proud of you 
Checking in day 52.5 Sober.
Preparing myself for a 20k walk.
Wish you all a nice sober day. Stay strong 
We can do this! One day at a time! 
Day 58 checking in have a good day
- Coffee. Therapy day. Shoulder and knee could be better but could be a lot worse too. Reading through the thread this morning, this one from Scott struck me:
How true that is. Not saying my life has gotten all sensational all of a sudden. But now, sober and clean, I (have to) choose my own path. And I choose to work on myself. To better myself one day at a time. It’s tedious at times. Slow hard work. But it is my own choice, and it isn’t boring at all. Looking back at my drinking and drugging days, now that was actually boring as fuck. Each and every day I let the booze and drugs decide how my day would start and end. The same monotonous grey nothingness of being under the influence and forgetting about it all. Waiting for a tomorrow that never came.
Life still is not easy, but it isn’t boring. And I got it in my own hands now. Love my sober clean live. Hope you all do too friends. It’s worth the work. Have as good a day as you all can. Love from Amsterdam.
@Jennajen SSRIs are now commonly used to treat anxiety too, next to depression. The latest research says Prozac is the most effective. But of course it’s all very individual. They sure beat benzos in effectiveness. And are non-addictive, although they have to be phased out when you stop using them to prevent rebound effects.
Good morning to my fellow warriors for peace!
Isn’t that a lot of what we are fighting for in our own lives?
I know I drank too much because I just wanted to feel better. I wanted to feel relaxed and safe and happy and my brain just couldn’t seem to help me do that by itself. Of course then I didn’t allow it to do much on its own because I kept feeding it a dangerous and addictive 50000 gallons of wine.
My 20 days of sobriety and the ways I spend my time are reminding me so much of trying to help myself back when I was a child, and self-medicating was not a strategy I had to calm my nerves and make myself feel better from the abuse that I was receiving in my family. So without the abuser around anymore, (he’s actually been dead for 20 years), I’m having this moment in my life when I get to put my self care ahead of many other responsibilities.
I wish you all a peaceful day. Take care of yourselves.
Congrats on a year! Sorry i missed it
Hey all, checking in on day 522. I hope everybody has a good one!
Michigan too.
10 days!!Woot Woot!
Good morning!!! Day 524 clean and sober today. Feeling some yucky energy but I know it’s going to pass. Have a fantastic day everyone I love you guys!!! 
Hola amigos! Checking in with 48.5 days in a year where I can actually say I have been sober more days than not. I call that a win! I have been thinking long and hard about what @EarnIt said, how I can let go of what I have felt with relapses, lapses, slips and blips and instead focus on what I have done “right” and when I have been able to stay sober and working on my recovery. In turn, feeling proud of those achievements and turning that into strength for sobriety TODAY. I turn 40 at the end of January next year and I am so looking forward to entering my 40s clean and sober. I wrote something last year about my birthday being like a personal new year, and I had goals for 39 that I feel I made good progress on. Guess I am in reflection mode this morning, but it all boils down to staying sober today and continuing the work to stay focused on my recovery and well being. That goes for my mental health, too.
Sending big sober hugs your way, amigos. 
