Yes! Our DOC, does a good job at making us focus on our perceived short comings.
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@Teapots there are lots of threads here about dreams - like this one for example:
Search ādreamsā in the search bar & youāll find many more.
Glad to hear today passed safely for you. Keep it up, one day at a time.
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Checking in 51 days sober.
My granny is in the hospital tonight. She fell off a ladder painting in her house and shattered her femur. My g-pa passed away in August, he wasnāt there to help her. She is out of surgery and my aunt will be there in the morning to check on her. I just want her to be okay. Praying and not drinking tonight.
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Iām so sorry to hear this, I hope she heals up quickly!
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Poor granny, sending love her way. 
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Good evening friends - today was a really positive day! A successful day 368 on top of that!
The problems I have been working through, as Iāve said, are of my own making. Without going into too many gory details, I did something to betray my wifeās trust. I had some very inappropriate conversations, via text, with another woman. And to make matters so much worse, it was with my wifeās
unmarried sister. I knew I was wrong and have no good excuse. Anyway, what brought things to a head, and my ugly truth to the surface, is that her sister (who is also one of us, by the way) fell off the wagon the other day, and when she does this, she becomes ugly, mean, vengeful and nasty. She has always had some one-sided rivalry with my wife since they were kids. She saw this as an opportunity to embarrass her, spite me and just cause me problems. Of course, the problems were my fault to begin with. I own everything I have done.
She sent a nasty group text to all of the sisters (Linda has 4 sisters total), plus Linda, saying what a sleaze I am and how she has all the dirt on me to prove it, etcā¦
I decided I couldnāt hide any more - I immediately went to Linda and confessed my sins. I threw myself at her mercy, although not deserving of any. I really feared that life as I knew it was over. I was ready to take my punishment, whatever she decided.
We had hours and hours of long talks about my behavior and how she was embarrassed and mortified, her own sister, after-all. That all came out on Monday. She told me yesterday that if I was really contrite, I was forgiven. I am married to a saint. I also told her that I wanted to call each of her sisters (not the one at the center of the story) and tell them what I did and let them know that there was some truth to the story they were hearing. I poured out my heart to these women (sisters of mine now for 33 yrs) and they also met me with kindness. This evening, I went to reconciliation at my church (we are Catholic) and poured everything out to my Priest. What a great way to start the rest of my life! I want to learn from these truly awful judgements and actions and turn myself in the right direction. I also now feel that the certain sister-in-law now has no more power over us. She would love nothing more than to tell my story for me, but Iāve already told everyone important.
This was long-winded, but I really wanted to share that newsā¦ I feel fresh and ready to go forward and be who I am supposed to be.
Thanks Friends - have an awesome evening!
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The Fentanyl is killing so many people here in Minnesota it is scary
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Proud of you!
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None of us are perfect; we all make mistakes. Thanks for sharing what happened and for taking responsibility for it. āLove never failsā.
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Oh yeah the big 90 I do love that milestone, congratulations your doing amazing 
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Donāt give up this is a journey that has ups and downs some days suck so bad and then you do the right thing and something good comes back to you and you realize why we are trying so had to be better people.
I relate to so much you said. I find myself lying about my using history for no reason. I usually tell people I had two years sober before and I donāt know why. I guess I wanted people to think I could do this because I have before. Itās the shame and guilt hitting me in the gut. I also have terrible anxiety like most of us do. I have been trying to get comfortable with being uncomfortable if that makes sense. I put myself in situations Im not always comfortable like meetings the gym I even did a job at the football stadium with 30 thousand plus people. Iām still having days I donāt leave my room but I keep pushing myself. I am taking medication for anxiety and havenāt had panic attacks since I also work with my therapist and do what she ask even when it sounds silly. And it always helps.
Just donāt give up because we all deserve to be happy
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That is so awesome Charlie! Congrats! You must feel free er and lighter now without that weighing on you.
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Fear of doing another day 3 had a big impact on my recovery, eventually I couldnāt cope with another one so I decided to stick with the pain of discipline and not the pain of regret. Well done I know how hard that was and Iām really proud of you.
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I am so glad you were able to face this head on own your part and move forward sounds exactly like recovery to me.
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U actually have no idea how much ur post means to me cuz im super emotional right now. Been arguing with myself all day about how to manipulate my money on friday so I can use. And I dont want to start over. I dont want to feel like crap the next day. I wanna see the double digits soon and triple digits in the future. I needed to read that. Thank u so much. Ur post really impacted me.
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Hey everyone checking in day 91 I stopped trying to figure out when I stopped smoking but it felt great when someone asked me for a cigarette and I said I donāt smoke. Iām getting excited to take the house manager job at one of our sober houses. And school in January. I am trying to stay busy until then but I guess I have been doing a good job at that between meetings the gym and programming at my sober house. Iām going to try and get a jump on Christmas shopping this weekend but maybe I should wait until next week black Friday. Not really my thing but maybe syber Monday.
Good to see you @RosaCanDo missed being called Amigo 
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So get on here and talk or do an online meeting bc the last place people like us should be left is with our own thoughts. Where did your best thinking ever get you? Same place mine used to I bet. Step out of yourself for a little bit and have a watch of your thoughts bc theyāre quite laughable from the outside looking in. As soon as I think about anything like that I just smile and move on. You can do this
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Thanks for sharing and Iām so glad things have worked out, or should I say that you guys have worked things out.
Good for you for owning your mistakes!
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My best thinking gets me in some pretty messed up situations. Hating myself, regret, shame, debt, arguing, jail, or potentially dead etc etc. Itās like a heavy weight was lifted when I read ur post. Iām really okay 
idk why I didnāt come on earlier and say something. I guess I knew what u would all say lol and even tho I wanted the help, maybe my addict side didnāt want to hear it. And Iām glad Iām listening. Cuz Iām not using fri. Money is going to go where it needs to go. Thank u so so much
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