Thank you Tyler. 
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Stil sober, grateful I am sober, . Had a frustrating day studying today, gonna leave it for a day and study something else, . I been on a shitty one since yesterday when I flung my lab coat on a pile of lab coats and pushed the door a ālittle too hardā on the way out because of frustration of not understanding something/ everything ā¦
The lecturer came running out after and said ādont worry, itās gonna be fine, you seem like you need to punch something!..āā¦( I actually didnāt expect anybody to notice) ( what a tantrum)
Grrrr, WHAT a drama queen 
.
Still donāt get it and pretty angry about having to use YouTube for hours to try figure stuff out for the lab report when I really wish they would just teach us!
Grrrrrrrrrrr 
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@CATMANCAM That sounds rubbish, hope it settles down!
@Shae Share away! U are not a shit mum, all parents snap over little things, and u are trying to break the chain of the abusive parenting u received and parent ur child differently. That is huge! And changing meds on top of that makes it more incredible.
@anon53116147 It is ur journey and creative jobs can certainly be got the non-academic route. I am pretty academic, but will not be encouraging my kids to go unless it is clearly beneficial for them.
@416mrj Welcome backš.
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Hi hazy. Good to see you, miss you and much love, keep pushing
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@DLS congrats on 18 months!
Checking in sober. Wtf is up with this emoji popping up after i type sober???
Thatās kinda annoying really
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Predictive text, if you have sent a sad emoji to anyone sometimes it will do stuff like that. Much love. We all know sobriety certainly is nothing to be sad about tho 
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Thanks, bud! 
Each day is getting easier. My hope is strong. Thanks to everyone who has helped me get through these tough days. I appreciate you
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Managing and protecting my sobriety is the most important thing for me in my life. Terrible day at work-Budget season, CFO is trying to tell us all what to do and crazy staffing challenges. I was a mess. Crying in my car on the way home from work and trying not to have an anxiety attack. Thank God, I called my mom and my wife. Both encouraged me to not drink and just come home. I did exactly that- I still hate budget season.
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220 unread posts 
What is this thing Iāve discovered called life that leaves me no time for other things.
Well done people
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This has happened to me when I have been started on medication. I was going to kill someone so a couple times I was switched. Olanzapine was bad for me and Topiramate at high doses. In the end I was on such a massive concoction of medications because they were medicating me for symptoms of other meds. It was awful, I can really relate to your post. My daughter was young and I had so much shame around not being able to keep my mood stable, I hated myself for being such a fucking mess but none of that did me any good. All of those negative feelings just got that shame cycle one rotation further.
You are a good mom, you are trying to take care of yourself and that doesnāt always look pretty. You are doing the best with what you have right now. We canāt do anymore than thatā¦
Something I learned in distress tolerance was a skill called S.T.O.P. We actually donāt go from 1 to 100 there are opportunities between there but we need to be self aware and willing to not react.
The skill is to Stop.
Take a physical step back.
Observe what is happening.
Then proceed mindfully.
I understand what you are going through I was right where you are 7 years ago. It was damn hard, those days were some of the hardest days of my life because I had a little girl who was counting on me.
Sending you lots of strength, youāre not alone, we are here to walk with you through it.
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Day 3 check in. Well I made it though the day. I had no energy at all. I donāt feel as sick but just drained. And being sober has made me realize so much stuff I have been covering up. And āwhy I would drinkā which isnāt going to change it or make it better just mask it and make me feel like shit.
Any tips for regaining energy and motivation?!
But I want to say thank you to everyone for your kind words to me! And also my cat is much better today 
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Evening check in
Evening was okay. Really trying my best to watch my tone and body language. I have been abit on edge latelyā¦ taking things personally, super emotional, irritable with people I know and I donāt know, just really tired of stuipidty and lack of common sense. I know itās just me adjusting to being clean. Learning to live life on lifeās terms. I was doing ok with my urges until I was watching an episode of Orange is the new black and they were smoking crack. Instant craving. But I turned away as soon as I knew what was going on and stopped watching. Iām okay. Just didnāt need to see my DOC or any drug for that matter right now. Anyway. Off to bed soon. Clean and sober! Hugs
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Day 478
Watching people in private and at work, trying to make a group decision, but people not replying, generally being wishy-washy, is making me happy it is not my circus, and so not my monkeys.
I have lots of prep I have to do for tomorrow, and have to take the kids to karate, but now I have the energy that I can stay up a little late if I need to.
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Dana I literally CHANTED the Serenity prayer for the first 5 months of my recovery. Everything was annoying.
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Today I have a neighbours meeting in order to undertake renovations in our building.
People who is all right, other people that are, in certain terms, not nice. But people is not a reason to go to the bottle.
We must live and let live.
Good morning and good luck, one day at a time!
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Hahaha thats funny u said that lol the serenity prayer came to my mind today and I said it out loud while walking from the train lmao omg I need to do that more. It kind of snaps me out of my irritability lol hope ur doing well my friend hugs
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Thank you for your replyā¦, yes serenity prayer, big amounts of serenity prayer is needed. . I will pray it, no doubt.
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HI Shae not nonsense at all its scary I knowā¦ about 10 years ago I was prescribed some meds to stop smoking and had similiar side effects , rage like no other, I remember clearly I went to kick my son! how I stopped I never know. I was shocked and horrified and still am. It scared the life out of me and I stopped taking them as I see a Doctor straight away. Shocking how some meds can do this, is your moods a stated side effect? Can you talk to your doctor hope it all evens out for you very soon, good you have kept people in the loop 
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