Hi Kat!! Thank you for thinking of me 
I feel loved! How are you? How were your holidays?
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Doing well Dana and glad youāre back!
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Iām glad youāre well 
what did u for for Christmas?
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Hey all checking in day 144 Boxing Day!
Get some of my kids today so might have to brave the supermarket for some shopping.
Did some stepwork yesterday and might get a bit more done today, must phone my sponsor.
Anyway much love at this tough time of year and keep on fighting!
Kat
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Checking in
728 days substance free.
All is well today.
I am still learning when you speak up and when my voice isnāt necessary. I still have not mastered the skill of rounding all the edges of my words and I am not sure I ever will, itās just not how I roll. Character defect? Most likely, and one that has saved my ass on many occasions. I guess I am just a little directā¦
Anyhooooooo.
As I approach the end of the year I am amazed at how I have been able to keep up with my ārecoveryā routine and I even added to it! Started my morning with an 8 min meditation and now digging into these bad boys with my coffee.
There have definitely been worse days.
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Checking in Day 35. Made it through Christmas eve and Christmas. Although i almost had slip. My son put his drink down beside me when we were all chatting and instinctively i picked it up and just about had a drink. Half way up i caught what was happening and said out loud. What the hell! How did that just happen! I put it down right away and didnt drink it. I couldnt believe i just picked it up without thinking about it. Anyway i made it and it was a pretty great Christmas. My grandsons are my favorite people.
my son asked me to come to his house for new years and i told him id have to get back to him as i wasnt sure i wanted to put myself into that environment this year. He completely undersood and im grateful for that. Im pretty proud of all 3.of my kids and the amazing people they have become. This year seemed to go smoother then usual and i have to wonder if its because i was sober. Im honestly just glad its all behind me now. Going to spend the rest of my time off relaxing and catching up on some reading.
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This hits home for me. Itās something Iām still working on. Iām rarely around more than 2-3 people at a time, and I have to be really comfortable with them to interact. But 3 times a year we have sometimes upwards of 30 people here for holidays. While I was drinking, I was always like āthe more the merrierā. Now, Iāve had a couple of get-togethers sober, and even though everyone was respectful, no one drank, and we had a good time, my brain kept reminding me that I donāt like being around this many people unless Iām drinking, I donāt like having to make conversation or having to interact. This past month+ has been a tug of war between my thoughts and the person I want to be. Iām pretty sure my guests saw a woman on cloud 9, happy and sober and talkative, but I craved the privacy of my bedroom, where I could let myself break down and then collapse from the exhaustion of it all.
I know that I need love, I need to share with others, I need interactionā¦ thatās why Iām trying to keep doing some of these get-togethers Iāve been having for years. Itās not just about me. I feel like this is good exercise for my mind, and I hope that it becomes easier in time. I feel like two different people sometimesā¦ the outside person doing everything to make sure others are comfortable and having a good time, and the inside person just wanting to be left alone. I need to find some balance between the two, because my family and the kidsā friends are important to me.
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Congratulations on your 90 days Callie.
Look at you Go Girl!!
Iām so happy for you 
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Day 498
Have a nice sunday to everyone
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Happy Sober Sunday, everyone! Hope youāre enjoying a relaxing day after the Christmas festivities.
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Checking in towards the end of day 357. Boxing Day in my world.
I have been coming to France for the last 20 years, or so, with my wife and family. I have always been on holiday whenever we have been here before, so I have ALWAYS been drinking. Heavily. I can probably count the sober days on both hands in all of that time.
Seeing it sober for the first time (we havenāt been back so far this year) has been a real eye opener and has turned things upside down for me. I was planning to retire here, but Iām not so sure now.
I cannot believe how skewed everything is towards drinking. Walking around the village, there are vineyards everywhere. I loved seeing them before. I now view them as illicit fields of drugs and canāt help wondering why some are illegal and some arenāt.
Almost every house has a wine cellar (ours included)! An entire room dedicated to keeping peopleās DOC in optimum condition! Again, when you take a step back and view that without the brainwashed ānormalityā filter, it is absolutely staggering. The trouble that people have gone to to have a cellar excavated before having their houses built so that they can store their DOC in cool conditions.
How on earth did we get here?
People simply cannot fathom sobriety here, so Iām just sipping my water and riding it out.
Happy to have a sober Christmas under my belt - but it almost derailed me today. If I can do Christmas, I can do anything, canāt I?! Surely I can just have a couple of glasses of wine with my wife todayā¦?! That voice will try anything and is always on the lookout for an opportunity.
No matter how far I go down this road, I am always the same distance from the gutter.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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@Its_me_Stella thank you for the great suggestion and reminder to start my day I will dig out my copy of Living Cleanā¦
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Go Callie 
Awesome job on 90 days !!
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I feel very blessed to be witness to your growth.
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Thank you for all your sweet posts @Laraellelarissa @Dazercat @IamThechange @I.cant.We.can @TigerMatriarch @KevinesKay
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So glad to hear that your Christmas went so well.
Mine, was amazingly blessed and beautiful. Being sober is awesome!
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Celebrating day 62 and Iām loving it!
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Day 562 clean and and sober today. Last night after work I lit a candle for each one of my family members that arenāt here anymore. Needless to say it was bright af in my apartment last night but it was a really good visualization for me to put them all in the same thought instead of random intrusive thoughts all day. It felt very comfortable being surrounded by all of the candles so I think I have a new way to approach this. Thank you everyone for the kind words and thoughts yesterday, love you guys!!! 
Happy 90 days @Callie99!!!
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@Rockstar24777 thank you Rob 
Your candle tribute to your family sounds beautifulā¤ļø Sending you a hug
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Thank you Caroline
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