Checking in on day 121. Grateful for my sober morning and that I was able to see the Delta V rocket launch. When I was drunk I’d just lay in bed and listen to the launches. Grateful for ST and my program work, changes are really happening. 
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@Misokatsu awe, this touches my heart. I have four boys. Sadly, all my friends, family, and past relationships have ignored my issue. I have always been able to hide it well enough that although people could see I was drinking, I was still functioning. In a way, I wish someone would admit they knew. Because then I might not feel alone in this. In another way, I’m glad they never really caught on to just how bad it truly is because as I’ve said many times before, I’m not ready to say this outloud. As of now, I’m on this journey with you guys. No one else. I can imagine how hard it is. My boys are 22,17,10,and 3. Sadly, I’ve passed this down to my 22 year old. And I don’t know how to approach him since I myself have never been approached. At least she knows. It’s something you can openly discuss to help build a healthy understanding for her with the battles you face. For now at least, I can’t discuss this with my family. Take these moments to have open dialog with her (if you don’t already)… 483 days is AMAZING. keep pushing! 
sending love and support your way
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Good morning from day 3. Yesterday was actually a decent day. Just not sleeping well. One of my biggest struggles is how to pass the time in the evenings. My depression leaves me with little motivation or interest in anything. I’ve downloaded a couple books on my kindle but haven’t started them. My Netflix list is long but just not interested. I spend way too much time browsing social media or playing games on my phone.
I hope everyone has a good day!
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@ShadowFax you nailed it! “Life is so much better without the hangovers, guilt and shame that comes with drinking.”
The reminders of the guilt and shame. The sloppy drunken moments, the stupid things I said, the impulses I embarrassingly reacted to… those are the reminders that hold me back as well. There are a laundry list of things that hold me back. But the reminder of the guilt and shame are two things I hold onto a lot right now. I try not to relive them, just remember the way they made me feel. Then remind myself I never wanna feel that way again.
Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on 71 days!! 
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@Mno “you’re sowing for a new harvest now” that was beautiful. That will be my quote for today. I have a funeral coming up for a very close family member and I’m worried how I will handle it. I will definitely be on here often to try and keep myself in a stable place. Is 913 ur days sober? Congratulations! just making seven days feels miniscule compared to that lol. But I’m proud of my accomplishments and yours encourages me to keep pushing. Thank you!!
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Day 77 checking in odaat
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@KarenKW Day 3! That is amazing. Every day is a blessing I believe… I understand the passing time part. I have a three year old so there’s not a lot of down time. But when there is, I do find myself hyper focusing on whether or not to drink. I try to busy myself with organizing when I get like that. Sounds weird I know, but it keeps my hands and mind busy. Looking forward to walking these journey with you 
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Well, here we are!! I made it!! I did good. My brother (who I live with) had a heavy drinking day yesterday. I wasn’t tempted though. I have a remote job and I was pretty busy with that all day. But man, this morning feels weird. About to hop on to work after this. Got up early so I could check in. I’m proud of myself for that. This is all new to me, but it feels right. It feels like this time could be different. Because I’m different. And that’s a good thing 
Good luck on your journey’s everyone. I’m excited to read your post in the morning tomorrow. Sending love and support!!
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Thanks! Huge congrats on a full week! It’s one day at a time for all of us. Just keep going. My sobriety actually still feels kind of fresh but I remember well how these sort of numbers looked to me when I was freshly sober.
Strength for the funeral coming up friend. Just remember there’s absolutely nothing gained by drinking. It’s all lies addiction tell us. Love.
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Still sober from alcohol…it’ll be four years this next August. Idk how many days anymore. Whatever amount of days from August 28 2018. I think it would take a major disaster for me to pick up the bottle again-- I hope I can develop good coping mechanisms and never touch alcohol again. The more days that pass by, just feels like winning at an arcade game and the high score just keeps increasing. That’s how I always look at it, and it really helps seeing the number of days increase. It is a high score.
Keep up your high scores everyone! Rack up those points. 
Almost done tapering off my dreaded benzos. Probably need one more month and then I am golden! I can’t wait. It’s gotten to the point where I am taking basically half a wafer compared to the two daily I was on originally 
Worked out with weights yesterday morning, tried to do about fifty reps of everything. Got done, couldn’t stop sweating, felt good, good rush of blood to the head…my body feels alive…I love that feeling.
Much love to all
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Good morning all
Well yesterday brought the unexpected news of a positive COVID test for my husband. Unexpected because he rarely interacts with people in his introverted retirement life and he’s fully vaccinated and boostered, as am I.
My school district says I have to quarantine for 7 days, so they sent me home. My co-teacher and other colleagues will now have extra work and my students will have even more change in their routines. Yikes.
The hubby has very mild symptoms. He’s going to get another test today, just to be very certain. If it is negative, then I will be getting back to the classroom.
We are deeply grateful to be well vaccinated. That makes this really just an inconvenience, not a serious illness. In the scheme of things it is not a bad thing for me personally. I plan to write a lot of lesson plans and try to get ahead on the work that teachers do when we are away from the students.
It also crossed my mind yesterday that if I were still drinking I would be in a position this week to drink even more since I’m home all day. I’m so glad that the drinking is behind me. I’m looking forward to getting a lot done today. I’m also really pleased that my resolve to keep the drinking behind me is strong and that I’m not feeling the urge to let my guard down with this change in my week. I think it is a good sign that the strategies I’m using are building up my stamina and determination to remain alcohol free.
So yes, I woke up clear headed before 5 am and I’m checking in here for a productive day of working at home and hoping my colleagues and students have a decent day.
I wish you all peace and health.
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Way to go on two weeks! I’m just a few weeks further in and it feels better and better each day.
I’m eating more too and I need to figure out some strategies to work on that.
I hope you have a great day.
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Books and Netflix are great, but they do take a bit of concentration. I feel like the phone scrolling is a way to let yourself relax too. And if you direct your social media to bring you to sobriety sites, well then you are learning and supporting your progress that way as well. In the first few days I wasn’t too productive yet with my free time. But as I’ve settled into new routines I’m better able to read and pay attention to films.
Hang in there, every few days feels better.
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I’ve been having trouble sleeping as well… I went on YouTube last night and listened to “sound baths” specifically one for sleeping and I turned it on at 3am next thing I know it’s 6am lol so it worked I don’t even remember falling asleep, I also feel very relaxed try it 
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Way to go!!
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Checking in - feeling pretty okay again this morning. I’m going to spend some more time in the kitchen today and am looking forward to trying something new. Still catching up on housework, and last night my parents called and asked if they could come visit next Thursday through the following Monday. Wonderful! Truly! But now I have to kick butt to get the house ready, especially the room they stay in. A bit of work everyday and it will be fine. Just really have to stay on top of my moods and motivation and fight through the winter malaise. Thanks for being here, amigos. 
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Hey all, checking in on day 541. I hope everybody has a good one today!
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Thanks💜. U are right, at least she is talking about it. There were so many festering secrets im my family when I was a kid, at least she doesn’t have that burden.
@Mno Thanks for ur support always.
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Checking in day 5 i am taking a relaxation day today not seeing anyone or going our just a pure rest self care day. I struggle with this as i always feel like i should atleast be doing something or wasting the day away but my body and my gut is telling me to just relax so relax i will!
Have a fantastic day everyone!
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I’m sorry to hear that it’s the anniversary of your friend’s death but I’m sure he’s proud of your sobriety now
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