Thank you so much! Your kind words mean a lot and ice cream is the perfect way to celebrate for me. Thank you again. And well done on your journey 
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I’m sorry to hear about this night with your friend or associate (as it seems he’s not the best friend to you) you’re kind to let him come over but I hope you remember to put yourself first in this situation.
Checking in 10 days sober.
Today was weird - I went to our client Christmas party and felt not myself at all. I had elderflower and stayed sober. I even held a glass of champagne in my hand and managed not to drink it .
I left earlier than I should have and I didn’t network nearly as well as I should have . Im worried that I’ve lost a valuable opportunity to speak to new clients and people in the business about work. I am blaming this on my sobriety but I know that is not all true.
I left when a good friend joined who tried to encourage me to come snd have a few drinks with him (he’s a party boy) I told him that I’ve recently blacked out and I’m not drinking. I had to leave and I am feeling more lost than ever. I got a large piece of cake and a herbal tea snd I’m now sad. I feel more stressed and more upset by the fact I couldn’t be myself without alcohol as easily. And then I checked work emails and things aren’t going well.
Anyway.
I’m going home and can sort my head out before a busy day tomorrow. Weirdly I’ve had so much sugar that I almost feel the same level of sick after I drink alcohol anyway that I really keep thinking who the fuck am i kidding. Weirdly I didn’t want to lift that drink to my lips tho, I held it for a good 15 minutes so not to make a scene and then I swapped it for a non alcohol fizz. I just feel really confused. I wish that I could feel the ability to walk up to people again, at social events and to feel I’m having FUN.
This is odd because the weekend was amazing - I was sober with friends and enjoyed it all. Maybe it’s that new people are the struggle. I’m embarrassed to be struggling so early on. But I’m sober. And fat. Crikey I will eat everything. I know it’s fine if I’m sober but sometimes the effects of a sugar rush and things are the same? I don’t know. But I saw someone I know at work who has been in AA and it was nice to see her completely sober as previously I’ve been hammered when I saw her. I felt like I was showing her I’m capable and not a drunk. So maybe that’s one small win for an evening . My industry is competitive and I fear that an evening where I’m not networking could be harmful to prospects
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Congratulations on 6 months! Keep on going ODAAT
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Afternoon check in
Things have been smooth sailing here at home. Did some daily cleaning and slowly getting supper prepped. I feel tired today 
but happy. I can see my husband trying to nit be such an ass lol He has been busy watching a TV series today. It’s just his way to relax. I watched abit of it but I find it alittle triggering sometimes. I only watch what I want and then I go to another room to relax and check out TS etc. I recieved some cute Christmas tree decorations from my mom back home… just dollarstore items but I love them 
icicles and snowflakes. Makes me happy. Anyway, today has evened out even tho this morning was alittle crappy. It’s just a bad moment, not a bad day… I tell myself often lol
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Beautiful share Alyssa. I’m so happy for you.
Congratulations on your 6 months.
I’m glad your here.
What time is dinner 
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This is beautiful! I love your positivity! Congratulations on 6 whole months!!!
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Evening check in day 3. I’m really struggling. Dealt with some intense stuff in therapy. Then work was exhausting. Really wish I had a drink to chill out and not think about anything. I did manage to run an errand after work and drive by the liquor store without stopping. But I’m already in tears and it’s only just past 5pm. Don’t know how to get through the evening.
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6 months is huge. Congratulations Alyssa. Proud of you. Hope you enjoy your roast.
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Day 18. Late check in. Good day. Meeting at 10…10/90. Another one tonight. Needing extra support. Court tomorrow for mydui… my bottom. This too shall pass. Love to all 24 hours at a time.
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You have not abandoned him; he has abandoned himself. You have been with him, but he left and whatever remained at your doorstep is not him.
I am happy you have chosen to treat yourself with the care you deserve.
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Well done on 6 months Alyssa! I’m a month and a week behind you, Keep leading the way!!
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Hey Shay
Super congratulations on your numbers. You’ve come so far. Glad your treating yourself to a new wardrobe. Will definitely help…going back to work… feeling and looking fabulous. Hugs
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@Callie99 congrats on 70 days 
@JustAlys congrats on 6 months
@ShadowFax thank you so much 
@Happilyeverafter99 congrats on your week
@Charlie_C sorry you lost such a close friend, and in such a sad way too. He’d surely be proud of you now
@ShesGotMoxie sorry you’ve been sick, sending well wishes 
@Freckles thank you I’m sorry you’re struggling this evening, but you went and you tried, and you stayed sober despite close encounters with the alcohol, I’d call it a win, there will surely be more opportunities for networking and maybe by then you’ll feel a little more confident approaching people congrats on double digits
@KarenKW I’m glad you posted, and despite how much you’re struggling you still resisted the liquor store, that proves how much you want this, that’s amazing, try to do something kind for yourself tonight
@Lotusflower good luck in court 
484 days no alcohol.
452 days no cocaine.
45 days no nicotine.
My friend was posting on social media again by 2am so the police didn’t hold him for long. Thankfully he hasn’t messaged me. I’m supposed to be supporting him with an appointment on Thursday at 9am, but he’s perfectly capable of getting himself there at that time of the day so I’m not going to go with him. I’ll remind him about it tomorrow because he will have surely forgotten, but I will keep my communication short.
I couldn’t sleep last night, and I ordered food at 2am. That’s quite a low point for me. I really am struggling again. Had a letter from the gender clinic yesterday as well to instruct my doctor to prescribe statins for my high cholesterol, so that makes me feel even more shame about the state my body is in. I really wish I could be stronger when it comes to food/eating. I keep hoping that one day it will click like it eventually did with alcohol and cocaine, and more recently nicotine, and maybe it will. 
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@anon53116147 @SoberGuyUSA @TigerMatriarch @Butterflymoonwoman @icebear @Misokatsu
@Chiron thank you all your replies help me to believe I’m doing the right thing by cutting him off again. It never feels good. I should have learned by now not to reach out to him again. 
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No need to blame urself what matters is that you have learned from experience at this point that he is not good for your recovery or mental health. History has shown you how this is progressing and you’re making changes. 
how has things been since you’ve set some boundaries up?
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Hey Tyler
Thank-you for the well wishes. You are a huge support on this forum. I thank-you. I feel your kind heart. I know you can let go of the binge eating just as you’d with the other three. Serenity prayer. …my friend. Easy does it. Hugs
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I’m doing great, thank you. How are you?
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Checking in at day 7! Today I feel great blessed and highly favored. Something weird happened at work
today and I think it was a sign. I work in a hospital and I had to float to another unit because mine (pediatrics) was closed… the unit I had to float to was the Psychiatric Unit and as I walked to the unit I said my God I make 7 days and I end up working on the psych unit such a familiar place. God has a funny way of showing us signs. As I’m working here (im still at work) I’m seeing people still sick and suffering from different things especially addiction and I too have been a patient on plenty of psych units & rehab units so working here today is a reminder of where Ive come from and where I don’t want to go back to… EVER. A day at a time.
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