Morning everyone. Checking in on day 3. Managed to actually do some housework this morning which is more than I managed yesterday. Just feel a real sadness over the realisation that things can’t go on as they have been, because it’s admitting that I cannot control this. It’s sad but I’m hoping it’s also a good thing, this time does feel different. 
Hope everyone has a good day 
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Hey @Twizzlers,
Sorry to read that your day started off in a bit of a bad way. Pleased to see that you found a response that helped.
You can only control you and your actions. I like to remind myself that I am unique as often as I can. Yes there are many people like me but I am the only ME.
Hope your day gets better as you move through it. Bright rays of sun still shine through dark clouds. Be the light not the dark and you will shine on the world.
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Your right. Unlike some people we can’t just have one. One leads to the other and so forth.
I was doing so good and feeling amazing. I actually still feel good right now and I’m happy I didn’t have wine
Restarting
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Important announcement 
.
It is butch’s birthday today (I didn’t tag him because this is secret) and he doesn’t usually post here)
And he is the owner of the thread ‘Motivation and meditation posts’
He posts EVERY SINGLE DAY for months and months and months. And it is comfort and has been comfort to me to read the daily readings and know butch is always there daily giving back with different inspiring readings to help us.
It would be so great if he could see a few happy returns on his thread for today from members. 
Ssssssshhhhh I didn’t tell y’all 
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Day 525
Struggling to get motivation recently. If I have work commitments, I do them, but once the ‘have to do’ things aren’t there I get so lazy. Don’t like it.
Also have to cover a kids class tomorrow. Singing and dancing is not my forte 
. Wish me luck! And energy.
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Look what the cat’s dragged in 
It’s been a while. And I must say, I needed the time off to finally get to know myself and understand myself a lot better.
A lot has happened the last 8 months. Me and the lady broke up. Selling the house and both buying another one was a hell of a job in our crazy market but we finally managed. After living on an attic for months, I finally have my own appartment again. And for the first time in years, it feels like a home.
Completely burnt out because in the same period I moved to another ship to work on, followed some additional courses and trainings which, combined, were too many stressors for me.
To my own surprise though, I knew very well I would get burnt out but didn’t realise it actually happened untill it literally kicked me in the head.
I had three stephkids I loved and considered my own. I don’t see them anymore. Realising I don’t miss them, hurted me more than the actual missing could have done.
Guess it took me those 894 days to finally get to the point where I realise this is exactly my core problem. This is why I’ve used all my life. This is what I stopped running away from, but still haven’t accepted.
But this is a part of me. For all my life, there have been periods when I felt nothing. No emotions, no feelings, just emptiness. And I hate it. I used a lot to feel and once it was there again, I used more to numb it because once there, it’s unfiltered and without a volume control.
I stopped running from it, but fooled myself for all this time telling myself that being sober and working on myself, would fix it.
Guess what : it doesn’t.
So I’m finally ready to accept that this is what my diagnosis means to me, that this is what I need to accept. There have been and will always be periods without access to my feelings and emotions.
And that’s fine. I cannot change that, so I’ll need to extra appreciate the moments that I dó have access to them. And learn enough from these moments to nót make similar mistakes again.
I am single now for 8 months and have had óne single date. That one was enough to realise I am not ready and not wílling to get in another relation.
I am not aware enough yet, of how this works in my life. I’ve come to learn that to me, it’s not about someone’s gender but about a personality. Hearts not parts. That requires a thorough understanding though of how that feels, what emotions are involved.
Well, let’s face it - the combination of autism and pansexuality is kind of the mental equivalent of a platypus
Allright, enough typing for a day. Time for a walk outside 
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Good luck Fleur
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Hey all, checking in on day 583. I hope everybody has a good one!
@Girlinterrupted Huge congrats on 600 days!! So proud of you!
@Fargesia Good to see you again friend!
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Woo hoo! Beauty number and photo, amiga!!! You’re amazing.
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Heyyy, nice to see you!
Thanks for the update. Sounds like a lot has happened, but that u are really learning about yourself.
And platypuses are cool. Ok to be a platypus.
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Day 59.
Hey TS crew. Happy Sober Tuesday. Another snow day so kiddios home again.
My youngest had fun sledding yesterday…was a real snow day.
Completing my step work on first step have check in with my Sponser tomorrow evening. Small gains… feeling thankful!
Good 24 sober hours all.
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Hey dude… good to see your ‘name’ again.
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Good morning friends - day 430! One last day off after my long weekend… relaxing this morning and then our annual meeting with our Financial Advisor. All good news, I am expecting… hopefully still on track to retire before too long.
I was sad last night and still a bit sad today, but that’s life. I’ll be fine. “I’m not going to drink today, and I’ll probably not drink tomorrow” (@dazercat)
Have an awesome day! I am going to do mine sober!
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600 days!!! Let’s go!!! That’s awesome!!!
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Day 62
Feeling Blessed/Happy this morning. My babies keep me up late but that’s why i got my caffeine(Fast lane tea) this morning. Sober 2022, new habits in place…Here’s to a Great day/evening everyone!
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I do too! I thought that was really cute. Then my kid decided to join in.
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Sometimes you wonder, am I doing a good job raising my kids?
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Do they have good morals and values?
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Sometimes we worry, but then they do something so beautiful and so profound that they take our breath away.
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The other night was one of those times. I am one proud momma!!!
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I am very much the same way, it’s like once the deadline is done, my brain goes into ‘default settings’ which in the past lead to trouble. I have to keep a to do list, which i’m going to do now!
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Charlotte, NC 
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Welcome back!
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This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 2500 replies. Continue discussion at Checking in daily to maintain focus #37 (Part 9).