I appreciate ur post. I do feel weak honestly. I don’t like this feeling. Maybe I should get into lifting weights more just so I feel strong in my mind and body. Maybe that will help me feel not so weak inside. Idk. But ya, my “survival skills” aren’t like they used to be. And in a sense I should be grateful for that. It’s not like I’m in these situations often tho. This was a weird situation. Thanks for relating tho 
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Thank you… I have to be honest, I do feel like using abit. But I am at work now and I’m not ruining my clean time over this situation. I have no idea WHY this has created using thots for me. Maybe bcuz my whole daily routine was thrown off? Idk. Maybe seeing that triggers something in me? Idk. I’m going to see if I can put my headphones in and attempt an online meeting
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Yesterday was a little rough, but I’m still here, 150 days sober. I woke this morning with high hopes that I wouldn’t be as sad, but after finishing my daily readings, doing a 9-minute meditation, and speaking my gratefulness, it’s still here. Most days I can find little pick-me-ups, and I really hope those come before another day is done. 
Y’all have a beautiful day. It’s lovely here, snow and frost everywhere and the sun is shining. It’s glistening… I love that. 
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And that’s just the addict playing games with us; telling us that we’re missing out and depriving ourselves by choosing sobriety. Let me remind you, using won’t give anything. It has zero benefit. I know it feels like using offers something when I’m inside the controlled environment and bubble of my addiction, but it’s a lie. We didn’t work hard all these years in recovery just to stay chronic relapsers. Stay strong. Remember, I want this sober life and so do you.
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Checking in day 49. Sundays are my favourite day of the week. Gonna do some relaxing as my laundy is off the list today. Washer broke down. I alway make a big dinner on sundays even though only 1 kid is still at home. its a tradition i grew up with and will probably continue even when a empty nester. So curry chicken it is on tonight menu.
Heres to a relaxing Sober Sunday!
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Thank u soo much!!! Thank u for reminding me that using has no benefit. It holds no value. My mind is lieing to me. And I have new tools today to help me get thru this.
I’m proud of you by the way for getting thru ur high toxic level of 8 and ur urges. It’s inspiring for me to see that bcuz then it shows me that I can get thru my issues too. I’m not alone. I can get thru today, 5 min, 1 hour, 1 day at a time
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Day 5 AF.
Weekend done and dusted.
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Day 50 and counting!
Still been busy as all hell around here, 90+ hours a week in the office, while trying to manage life with the single half day I get free.
But ah well, it is what it is right.
One of our guys is coming back from medical leave next week so I should be back to my normal 80hrs a week with my 2 days off so at least i’ll be able to kick my feet up and relax again.
My apartment is pretty well done now. The former tenant (friend of mine) still has yet to pick up the rest of his stuff, but I managed to store it away in a closet I wasn’t using so at least its finally out of my way.
Adopted my kitten yesterday! Made for a super long day though. Totally worth it though
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Congratulations on 49 days.
What time is dinner?
I love chicken curry. 
Love to see it on the foodies thread.
https://talkingsober.com/t/foodies-unite-4-trigger-warning-food-dont-go-bacon-my-heart!
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@Twizzlers thank you so much 
@Singtone wish you well
@Dansig congrats on 8 months 
sorry about your friend
@Jesile congrats on 70 days
@Lotusflower congrats on 50 days
@EarnIt sending strength I can relate.
@Andrea4 congrats on your week
@Mich80 congrats on 60 days
@Grumpybeard congrats on 4 months
@Willowwhiny welcome 
congrats on 6 days
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@Sunny11 congrats on getting through that, not what you expect when taking your children to tennis matches, I’m sure!
@Butterflymoonwoman I can relate to this ‘feeling soft’, I really don’t like it either. Solidarity
@ShesGotMoxie congrats on 150 days sending hope that the sadness lifts atleast a little
@Scrammbles congrats on 50 days
517 days no alcohol.
78 days no nicotine.
16 days no binge-eating.
9 days no cocaine.
Was awoken from a nap this morning by really aggressive shouting coming from a neighbouring property, the man did not stop shouting, I tried to ignore it for about 15mins but it was triggering some PTSD stuff for me. I managed to put the TV on and watch 2 episodes of the new series of one of my favourite TV singing shows, couldn’t manage to sit through the 3rd and most recent episode but by then the shouting had stopped and I’ve been laying in bed meditating and catching up on here. I also downloaded TikTok for the first time and some of the stuff it showed me was funny so that was nice too.
I’ve been really struggling with this situation with my friend confronting me yesterday, I hate when things occupy my mind, like thinking of what I’d say if I replied, it gives me anxiety because I’ve never been able to say what I want to say to her, she’s too confrontational. I do think it’s best I leave it, even though it feels really awkward.
I’m still having using thoughts every day at the moment, but they aren’t what I’d call ‘urges’ because I feel like I have a choice now, and I’m choosing sobriety.
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Thanks Cindy❣️
You just put a huge smile on my face.
Thank you.
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Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. It’s always a rude awakener when this disease takes someone close to us.
Congrats on your recovery Dan.
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Hey Cam way to go on maintaing and working through your urges.
I as well downloaded Tik Tok a few weeks ago…a nice escape …to bring laughter,
Thank you for the congratulations.,
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Don’t stop talking about this. Keep shining light on it, it will lose its strength.
What was the situation? Maybe I missed your post…
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Congratulations on your 150 days 
. Hopefully the day gets better.
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Congrats on day 50.
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Woke up at 5am to the sound of a metal bed frame being thrown out of a 4th storey window right above me…
The tenant was in a full on meth psychosis episode and smashed his window and proceeded to hurl a whole metal bed frame out the window.
I am lucky I did not sleep with my window open last night or I would not have a window this morning. The frame would of smashed my window on the way down.
More signs from the universe showing me why I am to NEVER touch meth again.
Also more signs to push me to move out of here faster I applied for a few properties over the weekend so hopefully I get some good news this week 
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Thank you! Ya im trying not to keep these thots to myself. The situation happened this morning while leaving my apartment. It wasn’t overly serious but 2 people (woman and man) were getting really rude and mouthy with me in the lobby over a key fob to a unit they were renting for a few days. I found the man passed out in the elevator as I was trying to go to work. He left the elevator after my husband told him to leave but he accidentally left his fob behind. Anyway they started getting rude and whatnot in the lobby as I was heading out due to this fob. My hubby came down to the lobby with the man from suite 414, stepped in and ended the situation. Anyway this is what began my using thots. And then issues came up of me feeling “weak”. Realizing that I don’t have those survival skills anymore (which is actually a good thing to be honest… cuz I don’t need them anymore…) BUT… I don’t like feeling weak. Like I cant handle myself anymore. I feel “soft” to this type of thing now. Idk. It thru me off. I’m in such a weird state mentally. Idk. Honestly, this would be a very stupid situation to relapse on (I mean realistically any situation doesn’t need to be a reason to use) but this reason in particular would be a super stupid reason. That would be like me giving away my power to these people. Why should I let them impact me SO much as to ruin my clean time, feel crappy about myself, and cause financial stress. Nope not doing it. Ya I needed to let this out
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