Day 36
I had the most vivid and realistic dream that I relapsed. It felt so real. I even had to reset my counter which felt heartbreaking.
I was so relived to wake up and realize that I did not, in fact, drink a few bottles of wine. It feels so much better to be sober!
Day 18 just checking in.
Checking in
Day 2
Morning has been really good. I feel like Iāve sort of got myself out of my relapse funk. I feel amazing today. I did my readings and prayer by candlelight and then planned my day. Today is my payday and I have absolutly no urge to use. I have good things planned for my pay, plus it will be very busy! I am seeing the dr this afternoon about my new meds so hopefully that will go well and Iāll begin feeling like I should. Had a scare this morning tho with hubby while he was at work. He started up his Zoom Boom to warm it up after doing the inspection (this piece of equipment absolutely needs to be replaced, itās not in great working condition and my hubby has complained and filed paperwork about it many, many times). Nothing seemed out of ordinary during inspectionā¦ no weird sounds or smells etc. After starting it up, he went to the C Can and as heās coming back to his machine, there were 3 coworkers putting out a huge fire. My hubby took pictures after the fire was put out. There is a fist size hole in the tank. He is not at fault at all thank God and he is okay. Hes been operating machinery for like 25+ years so the safety guy was upset that the company is not replacing the machines once they get to this sort of state. They keep repairing and repairing the machines. I know they are expensive but stillā¦ anyway, prayed to my HP and gave thanks for my hubbys safety. He believes he couldāve lost his legs in the explosion/fire if he had been sitting in there while it warmed upā¦ or worse. Omg 
Anyway, all is well. Have a great day everyone!
Hi Kat here checking in on Day 174
Enjoying the sunshine this morning and remembered to take my Vitamin D and B50. A few times a week is better than nothing I suppose. I am better with my prescription psych meds though, those go down every day.
Interview in a few hours for Nursing Home job I am excited! Will have to buy some new scrubs.
Thinking of you all and hope you have a great sober day.
@Butterflymoonwoman close call glad everyone was safe Industrial accidents are no joke! Also well done on Day 2 and no desire to use
Thanks Kat! Iām excited for and ur interview!! It will go well 
I feel it! Hugs to u girl!! So proud of you
Day 592 clean and sober today. I hope everyone has a great day today, love you guys!!! 
Congrats on your 2 weeks sober
Caught this yesterday but was too busy to post itā¦
I havent caught a fun screenie for ages
Yesterday was my daughterās 16th birthday. It was a good day for multiple reasons. She of course had a nice time, we spent time as a family and I spent a lot of time in reflection. This is her 4th birthday I know that I have been sober for. I canāt remember if I was drinking at her 2nd birthday or not, I definitely was at her 3rd. Being into my 3rd year of recovery put a lot of things into perspective for me. When I had her I was 7 months clean from meth, I had just walked away from a very crazy street life, I had left a 7 year relationship with one person, gotten pregnant by another and ended up alone. I had just lost my dog, who had seen me through all the darkness I experienced on meth, she was my life, and now I had a baby. I had no recovery support, I just disassociate myself from all the people I had been running with and started a new life. I dealt with NOTHING. When I ended up relapsing I was so hard on myself. I couldnāt figure out where I had gone wrong. I thought I was such a failure and that I would never be able to get clean and didnāt deserve a life or happiness. Now when I look back on this time that I cleaned up and how fucked up I still was at 7 months clean; I have so much compassion for my 32 year old self. All I can think is āholy shit, you didnāt have a chance.ā I cried a lot yesterday, I cried because I can finally see it and feel freedom from all that guilt and shame. I have been telling myself I was doing my best because I was, I was trying so hard! But now I can feel freedom from all that shit.
2005 just wasnāt my year.
2019 is.
Welcome Julia 
Welcome Julia.
This is a great caring supportive sober community. It works if you work it. I use the Sober Time app for my counter and access the Talking Sober forum from there.
Hope to see you around.
Day 113 for me AF. Been a rough week. I have a huge trade show Friday - Sunday for my business. Prepping is hard and long hours. This show is a booze soaked party where people do business. Iām very nervous about being in that environment but I really need this show to keep orders flowing. My husband and I have a determined plan to stay sober and minimize our exposure to the drinking. Weāve been practicing what to say and do, and how to excuse ourselves early but Iām still scared I will fail.
Yup, Iāve also felt that way at times and have to trust myself to know what is best for me. Stick to certain threads, reduce my screen time in general, try not to over analyze what is going on with me (easier said than done!) Ask myself if it feels like Iām running away (a tendency of mine) or if I really just need a break or to focus my energy elsewhere. Take a look at what else Iām doing for my well being, also, and make sure I have routines, tools and support. I have a lot to be grateful for by being on TS, but Iāve had to learn to strike a balance that feels healthy. Everyone is different, though, and this can be someoneās main safe place. Glad you brought that up! Youāre definitely not the only one!
Hey guys. Checking in day 1
Feeling a bit tired due to the slip I had.
Also went to the gym today and gonna finish off the night with reading a book.
Have a goodnight. Bye
Iām so over it! Itās beautiful and sunny but Iām the dedicated dog walker and itās no fun anymore and now we are getting cabin fever. Waaaahhhh 
Looks like a slight warm up on the way for us, might go see the bald eagles this weekend for my birthday! I think the winter funk has arrived earlier this yearā¦Iām hoping that some time outside will help. Hang in there!!!
This. This is a thing of beauty and a testament to all your efforts. Iām so proud of you 
Thatās fucking amazing Stella, youāre a miracle and a warrior for sure!!!
This is great!!! It saved me from many slips. I would practice my drink orders outloud as I drove to restaurants. It really works.
I believe if you have a little bit of healthy fear itās OK, but you should trust yourselfā¦ you are going to this function with good intent. Whenever I keep my intent at the forefront of my mind I have been able to stay totally focused and everything else has just rolled off my back. You and your husband sound like a great team and I believe you will be fine. I know how much you have been enjoying your sobriety. I have lots of faith in you, just take it one day at a time.
Thank you! I needed to hear that. Iāve been having nightmares about getting drunk and making a fool of myself. In one, I lost my business and ended up working at Walmart
Checking in day 9 almost at those double figures! Also been listening to some sober podcasts and audio books (not much of an actual reader) finding its helpful to keep my mind focused on why I need to do this as somehow despite all the catestrophic lows Iāve caused by drinking, within about a week of not drinking I seem to forget how bad it can be and my mind wanders to maybe I can moderate! NO I canāt! In 16 years Iāve never managed it for very long. So listening to this at some point every day helps! Wishing everyone a happy & sober Tuesday
Checking in day 232 
itās a great day today, I recently picked up crocheting to keep my hands busy because the past few weeks have been rough, I got a sinus infection which knocked me out for a week, it wasnāt covid because I tested after that one week and the test came back negative (twice-just to make sure) But yes being out of it sucked because Iām so used to doing stuff (cooking/cleaning) and talking with my family, it was an odd week because I didnāt do much and hardly talked mostly slept though, I am feeling better and now fully functional again that was about 2weeks agoā¦ Anyways after I started feeling better, our ride that the whole family uses decided to die on us so this past week we havenāt had a ride to go do our errands so haha yeah that also sucked, itās getting looked at today though so hopefully weāll know whatās wrong with it and can fix it this next weekā¦ Another thing that has happened is my friend recently got kicked out of where she used to stay, so I invited her and her newborn to come stay with us until she finds a place, but I donāt think sheās taking that seriously because she just gave her baby to the dad and has been drinking on and off the past few days, she knows Iāve been sober for 7 months now so when she drinks she doesnāt drink around me and she doesnāt bring it around my house eitherā¦ itās just been a stressful couple of days/weeksā¦ but Iām taking it one day at a time, as I said Iāve recently been crocheting and this past week Iāve managed to finish a blanket for myself, Iām not sure on which project I should start next a beanie or a sweater for my dogs lol crocheting has been a positive outlet for everything that has been going on right nowā¦ Iām sorry it was a long check in but I just thought if anyone remembers me Iād catch you up on what Iāve been up to hahaā¦ I hope you are all healthy and well and sober haha remember you are loved, and I believe you can do it.
