Read this and realised… that’s exactly how I view myself 
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Hi Livy,
I’ve had those those thoughts too. But for me, they were based on shame; this feeling that I’m unlovable and worthless. But I’m sure you already know that about me.
And you also know that getting validation from another wasn’t going to fix me. Instead, I’m learning to get validation from the one who matters most, myself.
I’m not sure that applies to you, but what you’re sharing certainly applies a lot to me.
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Yup, I know very well how you feel. But know that we do care about you here. 
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Hi Buddy 
Long time no write.
I’m sorry you feel that way about yourself today. It must make you feel sad. And it sounds depressing.
Is saving a meme for someone special on that list? I’ve had this for weeks trying to think of a good time to send it to ya.
I wasn’t just going to drop it for anyone on the meme thread.
Oh and by the way, and for what’s it’s worth. You can put me down for 7 out of 9 those things you listed. Sorry I don’t have a crush on you because I’m a happily married old geezer. And I have hardly any friends IRL, so I don’t have number 8 either.
I got a tenth one for ya that I do.
Whenever I check my weather app I wonder about my sweet friend in Lapland. And will you look at that, you beat Menno out in Amsterdam
I get you girl.
More than you could ever imagine.
I’d love to invite you over to the daily gratitude thread. That way I could see more of ya. Consider that an invitation if your willing.
Love you my friend.
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@KevinesKay Yes, your words apply to me too. I do want and need to learn to give affirmation to myself. So I caught my toxic thinking.
@anon57836609 Thank you Jan 
@liv_m Awww!!! 
@Dazercat Dear Eric! I love that meme, it put a big smile on my face 
Thank you for your words. They mean a lot, they really do. I treasure your friendship. And I’m speechless. Wow.
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D 482
Some general updates…
I thought my new job try out would start today. Turned out, we only negotiated and signed a contract 
Oh well… My first day will be Feb 7th. Yay!
I’ve been dipping my toes into my upcoming move, like sorting out finances and saying silent goodbyes to this place that became my home while severely depressed. I’ve been boxing some things I don’t need daily/weekly. No, I don’t have a place yet but I like to start clearing in advance.
I’m a bit shaken by last night’s events with my downstairs neighbour. I’ve never been in a fight, never had anyone threaten me with violence. I realised afterwards how lucky I was that the bf held his gf off (of me). Anyways… I hope other neighbours complain about their loud party and misbehaviour to the housing board so the board can take action. I hope the girl realises that if she acts like a psycho c#nt there will be consequences.
Think what you like, this is a big deal to me.
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D 486
I have an eventful week ahead:
An apartment viewing 
x 5
Blood drive 
Therapy 
An interview for closed group sessions (about sexual abuse)
Dentist appt
Getting banana boxes for moving (I wish I had a car) 
x 10
Etc etc…
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It’s 3am and I can’t fkn sleep. Dodged a bullet earlier, almost relapsed a few hours ago. It’s ok now, I’ve dealt with, moving on.
Sleeping vibes and prayers welcome 
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SO Awesome !!! Congratulations !!!
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Is that really a cake? Or just a pic?
Looks delicious if it’s the real thing.
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So proud of you!! You are such a powerful role model Olivia!!
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I think it’s someone’s cake. Unfortunately it’s not mine 
@Laraellelarissa your unicorn gifs are brilliant! Thank you!!!
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D 455
Well… March has been eventful. Job plans going forward, finding a new apartment, a death in the family… So many things.
Being busy has maybe contributed in me thinking about sex a bit less than before. It’s still a slippery slope tho. Cravings come when you’re HALT or otherwise weak/not on top of your game.
It’s surreal that I’ve been clean this long.
Grateful and content about it.
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Olivia. You’re a rockstar you know
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I guess I jinxed myself with that previous post 
I had such strong cravings I was literally on a verge of a relapse for days. Although I didn’t pmo, I considered resetting, I felt so toxic. (I didn’t reset and a conversation about whether or not to do so isn’t relevant here.)
I’ve been “clean” for a good while but it’s still hard to know what is healthy and good for me/others. The things that go through my head steer my thinking and my desires and eventually my actions.
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D 569
This time next week, I will be in my new apartment. Moving is not fun tho. How can one person accumulate so much junk?? I don’t consider myself a hoarder, I’m more on the pragmatic side LOL.
Work is ok but it’s keeping me humble. There are so many things I have absolutely no clue about. I know I’m learning every day but it’s just frustrating me. At least my colleagues have more patience with me than I have with myself.
I’m having a hard time with my feelings and thoughts again. I’m lonely, sad and borderline hopeless. My life is quite pathetic when it comes to romantic relationships. I’m doing my best in recovery, self-love and I’m not in hiding anymore. Yet, it seems I’m beating a dead horse here.
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I’m taking a break from this place. Stay safe and sober.
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Be well, Liv. We’ll be here when you’re ready to come back. Much love to you.
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Take care 