Congratulations Dana! 
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I know this has been debated to death.
And youāre right, itās part of the addiction.
Further more.
Premeditated relapse is just choosing to ignore your own strength and submit.
@Butterflymoonwoman
I glad youāre talking about it. Itās important to talk about it.
Thanks for sharing that. Hoof.
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Day 55 AF
3pm Tuesday and Iām in bed. Been pushing myself hard with work, exercising and home duties recently and feeling a little overwhelmed and extremely tired. Being a sole parent to a 17yo with mental health concerns is really tricky and difficult most of the time. Hope everyone is doing ok
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5 months 
Congratulations Callie.
I live it
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Thank you, Cam. 
Iām not having to deal with any creeps. That happened early in my time here and Iāll nip it in the bud if it happens again. 
Iām speaking of the community as a whole. I know of two people who have left because this happened to them. I donāt want to see anyone else get hurt. Our sobriety is important and this isnāt a dating site.
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You got this too!!
Thanks! Being here helps, knowing Iām not alone helps! Letās get one more day!!
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Thatās a shame. I know that Sassy recently bumped the Reminder on inappropriate posts, personal boundaries and flagging to educate new members and remind old members how to handle this kind of stuff.
If anyone is uncomfortable in DMs all they need to do is add the @moderators tag then block said person.
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I can relate to this alot man. I thought I was working my recovery pretty well when I had the 456 days. I still attended meetings and meditation all that but I still would have those thoughts of relapse and when I went to my uncles idk why but I just didnāt even really try to stop myself. When I got home I carried the relapse on for a little bit and I remember when I went to my first meeting after the relapse I spoke and got my feelings out. And I remember one of the ppl looking at me after and saying yeah well relapse isnāt a part of recovery and it just rubbed me wrong, like the person was better then me or something it felt like he was saying because he hasnāt relapsed and idk thatās just how it felt my ego was probably big at the time. Who knows. Either way, even when we work are recovery I still feel there is a chance of relapsing you just never can say never or know whatās gonna happen idk how to describe this, even after the relapse i still catch myself thinking about relapsing.
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I have a had few here n there that pop up and once I realize that the conversation is not recovery related I just shut it down. But it can be very intimidating and could potentially drive people away. I know of 1 lady who I used to chat with that told me she left bcuz of that reason 
Thatās quite sad bcuz she loved it here.
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Mhm, putting my profile on private took care of that if you want help to do that shoot me a DM
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Checking in, day 161.
Nightmares, nightmares everywhere!
I try my hardest not to let them effect my day but sometimes itās just too much.
My occasional nightmares of my old life are a constant(where the real nightmare seems to be waking up)
But Iāve had alot of nightmares of relapsing and none of them are pretty. I donāt want to even attempt to dwell what an actual relapse would look like, I know that I am no longer drowning in thoughts of suicide but whos to say those thoughts wonāt come rushing back the moment i start feeling sauced up? Its terrifying and has quickly become my biggest and only fear in my new life of living fearless after having dealt with the biggest fear in my entire life.
Some days are easier than others. Today is just okay and im fine with that.
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Checking in day 62ā¦ I was well aware of my 60 day milestone just passing but been busy keeping the rain out of the house with this flood happening. Also internet is down and mobile data is slow atm so took me awhile to catch up on this thread which I like to do before I post. Nice to read about some of you all doing well
Iām the aftermath of the Brisbane floodsā¦ seeing the devastation here and elsewhere (Lismore!) has given me something to be grateful for amid pretty severe depression.
Gonna have to do something about that! At least Iām not drinking.
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You are welcome and thank you, @ShesGotMoxie , we are comrades, we are sisters, and as it is said, āwe are all in this together!ā
Hugs, to you, and to all the others out there, too!
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Yay, 5 months, congrats 
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Day 161 checking in
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Good luck at the doctors appointment tomorrow! 
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#Day 1259 
Mentally unstable because of the war and my failed new tattoo. So using my toolbox to keep myself sober and as stable as possible.
So Iām downsizing the amound of news Iām reading about the Ukrain war. I may only check in on the news 3 times a day. I try to avoid seeing the tattoo. I have to take care for it because itās fresh but I do it without looking.
And like I said earlier: I use the serenity prayer and focus on today.
I manage, I know Iām an very emotional person and tend to exaggerate. The argue with the special person about the wedding isnāt helping as well. We talked about it, but it takes time to heal.
Heās sad and angry about our desision to get married without inviting guests.
Life is difficult sometimes. It makes me crave the wine thing again But I know that wonāt help either. So letās focus on what I know that helps: a walk in nature. Have to work, but time enough for a walk!
Picture frome our love lock we put on the love lock bridge in the town Iām living in after our wedding.
The lock with the red heart is ours
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- Coffee. My day off. Gym time, general me time. Iām OK but damned do I feel the feelings these days. Tears keep coming. Canāt play some music I like or there I go. Some tough decisions to make at work, there I go. Watching the news. Thinking about myself, my past, my upcoming milestone. Itās good Iām feeling 'm though. Great even. Itās part of recovery. At least I feel.
Had a crave for a drink last night coming home from a long late shift. Made me remember the bit of red wine I have in my kitchen cupboard I have there for cooking. I took it out. The view of the fluid made me sick. Literally. Crave gone. Not advising this route for anyone, I know many folks donāt want any alcohol in the house or cook with it. I didnāt for about two years. But for me it worked out like this, this time.
Have as good a day as you can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love from Amsterdam. Itās still winter. Butā¦
@HoofHearted Youād know. Your body your mind your soul would know. Have a good sober trip Dan.
@SadMemeQueen Hope youāre OK Megan. Hugs.
@Tragicfarinelli Morning Emma. x
@SoberWalker Unstable here too. Weāll make it through. Together.
@Callie99 5 Months lady! Awesome stuff. Big congrats.
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