Totally feel the same. So excited for you in this journey!
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Be gentle with urself today my friend. Hugs!! Thinking of u today 
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Morning check in
Day22
Feeling slightly “off” this morning. Had another messed up dream last night about my ex (which I posted in more detail as a separate thread with a trigger warning as to not trigger anyone on here). It just baffles me that after 13 years I am still effected by what happened.
Anyway, I am going to change my day around. It’s beautiful out today! Going to eat healthy and get some sunshine by going out. Have 1 appt to take care of at noon. And then definitely do some meditating I think and praying. Thats my day! Hugs to all! Hope u all have am addiction free day 
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There she is! My little pace car twin 
Big congratulations to you Stella!! On your 800 days.
You are such an asset to EVERYONE’S recovery here at TS. Thank you 
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Thanks stella. I will definitely ride it out, and I’m glad you are noticing a difference. I definitely look forward to some peace in my mind so I can navigate decisions better. I also am a little scared bc now I need to find another doctor, I did not like the doctor at North Star, just quick survey and here pump some meds but did listen atleast about my addiction and factor that in, but wasn’t good at making sure my scripts were filled or really listening when I said the stuff wasn’t working. So I need to find someone who is going to listen and also not say no to something for my ADHD, the non stimulants just definitely didn’t work. Idk what’s gonna work im not a doctor lol
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Day 634 clean and sober today. I hope everyone has a fantastic day, love you guys!!! 
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Hello. Hope your doing well.
You should try getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Maybe a lack of sleep is what i causing you to feel exhausted. Then try to eat healthy whole foods and stay hydrated. I do not know your situation you are dealing with but try these simple things.
You should exercise also.
Hope that helps and try explaining your situation. Maybe someone can relate and provide you with some good tips.
Have a good day.
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Hey guys. Just checking in day 43.
Hope you have a great day.
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So glad I popped in to see this!!! Amazing 
I love seeing you on your way in this life in recovery. 
Yay Lisa! Well earned, for sure. You are inspiring in the work you’ve put into recovery and how it has paid off as you navigate real life challenges. Big congratulations!
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Thank you! How are you doing?
I’m feeling pretty good today! .( Until I stop to question it???
) But no-it’s a good day. The sun is shining and I have a couple hours to myself now. Just figuring out what I feel like doing instead of worrying too much about I think I should be doing😃
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I am sorry you experienced that Cam. Learning which voice we are hearing is important. I recently explained that my lower self, my “head voice”, my monkey brain speaks fast and very direct actually like its on speed!!! ( go figure ). Whereas my higher self, my intuition, my heart which is my wisdom speaks slower and softer and this is the one I am trusting. The more I listen to her the more the other shuts up. I have noticed that my head voice isn’t as loud as it used to be and my heart voice is louder. I believe this is due to meditation practice.
I am glad you got a good night’s rest and you are right some days it is 10 forward, 9 back. The most important part though is “where am I today from where I was a month ago, 2 months ago, etc” It might not feel like today is better than last week but I can assure you that your today I waaay better than your 2 and 3 months ago. Just keep putting one foot infront of the other faced in the right direction, you are doing this!!!
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Thanks. I have bad nightmares and insomnia so sleep is so really difficult. Having a hard time eating as well. Unfortunately basic self care is a struggle
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Will be day 7 of no self harm tonight.
I finally crashed and slept 13 hours. I’m still really tired, but I feel much more stable. Gonna try to push myself and eat a full dinner tonight. I think I’m going to skip this chapter of my statistics class. I have a 97% so it won’t cause me to fail or anything. It’s due by midnight and I really really don’t want to stress myself out anymore than necessary.
I could just be being lazy with the math. But I slept well and that hasnt happened in so long I’m gonna take it as a cause for celebration. Even it is me being lazy, I really don’t care. Whatever helps me get through another day Alive, sober, and safe is what I’ll do.
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I am so pissed and sad and want to use. I never get Wasted, just numb.
Yesterday and today my body felt a little loopy. It would be so easy to get delta 8 and tell me its better.
However my anger is more dignified and useful if im sober.
The opinions of people years away from my life are unknown and useless to me and its not worth continuing to hurt myself.
I just want to cry.
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Big hugs. Maybe do cry? Let it out. It is hard, but feelings have to be felt, not numbed.
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Man I relate with you alot cam. I apologize as I sometimes just blow through quick and not even catch what I’m actually reading. But my whole life dude I have felt the exact same way as you, I was very vocal about this with my mom, she did so much research on it and this was even before my addiction, she new I was born with a twin when I was a child that was attached to my head. A dumoid cyst, she didn’t think anything of it but came to find out vanishing twin syndrome or survivor twin is a real thing. I was very much attached to that twin and apparently felt alot of regret. So my whole life I really hated myself. I even always had friends who were twins and bonded with them so well. Sorry this probably sounds stupid, and I’m not saying this is the case for you but just that I relate and my mind says the same to me when I’m in groups, or when ppl don’t talk to me, last year I went with my sponsor to a car show and literally just sat there in a corner not talking to anybody and felt like a complete idiot. We’re not idiots man, and it’s ok not to talk or have the same interest with ppl. But I do say those guys suck for not striking up a conversation with you, I would never do that to someone as I know how it feels. I always feel ppl think I’m weird and often can pick up on it with the way ppl look or interact with me. But that’s just feelings I geuss doesn’t mean it’s true. But my mind says it’s true. Idk much love man, you know you can always message me and talk if you want. Sometimes I am in funks and don’t do the best at replying but I am always here man.
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This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 2500 replies. Continue discussion at Checking in daily to maintain focus #39 (Part 11).