Checking in quick, I realized it’s been a very long time since I’ve updated about all that is going on right now. I’m just going to bullet list and hopefully make time to elaborate in my running with scissors thread.
Sober: 632.43
ED: 252.55
Found out my daughter had attempted suicide and was hospitalized, my ex never told me
Found out my daughter was suspended from school for 10 days
Found out my daughter was falling miserably in all of her classes
Arranged a meeting immediately at the school
Fought like hell against the parental alienation which involved brining in an attorney.
My daughter moved back in with me three weeks before the end of the semester and she was extremely defiant. I got a real taste of how deep the alienation ran
I was prepared. I read and studied how to handle it.
In three weeks and lots of hard work, we got her to pass all classes
Straight freaking A’s this semester. Our relationship is really wonderful right now. She’s done a complete 180. She’s taking her medication, respectful, motivated, got her learner’s permit, got a job
I moved into a two bedroom and my rent increased by $1,000 a month
Decided that I need to go back to working for the man. Job search is rough right now. Most positions are remote (C-suite/Director) so I get to compete globally and not locally. Sigh
Keeping my business but grooming one of my brokers to run it
Found out the university where I studied my engineering lost all freaking record of my existence
Back to college I go, without my main university I still had an associate’s and plenty of extra credits. 97 total, but the college only accepted 38 all my stuff is math and engineering and I switched to business. 84 credits to knock out by august
NASM and ACE certified personal trainer exams back to back next Sunday
10 more advanced certifications to complete by august
I think that’s it? I’ve been pretty depressed off and on. I’ve been dealing with a lot of rejection in multiple areas of my life and it’s wearing me down. But I’m sober and doing what I need to do. Off to study for the personal training shit. Have a great day everyone.
Wow that alot on your plate. Especially with what’s going on with your daughter. Way to go mama on helping her and supporting her to get back on track! How is she now? How are YOU?
Day 617 clean and sober today, reset smoking. It’s the hardest thing to quit so far for sure. I’m proud of everyone’s accomplishments and hope you all have a great day today. Love you guys!!!
Checking in on day 253 at the airport. Having coffee within earshot of an airport bar and a couple just walked by: “I need wine, let’s go order a wine.” 10:15 am. There but for the grace of God go I, as they say. I am super content with my Caribou coffee and a clear head. Hope all is well with everyone.
Good afternoon,
Checking in day 15
We had a lovely morning after yesterday cold stormy day so I have finished my first rockery.
Now having coffee and listening East of Eden. Feeling satisfied and calm.
Have a great weekend.
E.
Went on a “Road Trip” meeting adventure last night it was fun. We went in the opposite direction for a 1.5 hr drive. 1.5 hours drive to hear men and women share their experience, strength and hope instead of 1.5 hours drive to transport dope. Pretty amazing exchange in time spent if you ask me. The most powerful message I recieved from that meeting was the two newcomers that had obviously used before coming into the room. That is hope on fire my friends…
Just scrolling through this morning I noticed a lot of self love talk. It is so damn hard I agree and it is just something that I have started settling into in my 3rd year of recovery. After a life time of looking myself dead in the eye and screaming at myself. " I fucking hate you." and meaning it more than I have ever meant anything in my life, turning to self love felt impossible. It has definitely happened in stages, it moved from indifference to acceptance to forgiveness and then to the realization that love is there. I love @Becsta 's affirmations , mine are much shorter because I also felt like a fraud saying all this shit I didn’t believe yet. I took some time but I figured out some key things I did believe about myself that are important to me.
I try hard
I help
I heal
I hear
I feel
I fall down and I stand up
I know what I need
I know what I want
I know what I have
I trust myself
I end with I trust myself because this is what I am learning to do. To listen to the voice of my heart not the chatter bullshit of my brain. Trusting my hearts voice, that I am strong and loveable and worthy to move through the rest of my lifetime happy and healthy. Free of all the negative thoughts my mind has been programmed with over the years. Eventually the less attention I give those thoughts the weaker they get and they will start to drop away. Listening to my heart is the biggest way I could ever show myself love.
For me, and many others obviously, air travel always was an excuse to get plastered whatever the time of day. So glad we don’t do that no more Drew. Safe travels friend.
Good for you Drew. I never in my wildest imagination ever thought I could travel and avoid airport bars. It’s one of my favorite milestones. I can’t even keep count of them now. I seriously forgot. It’s nice when it just comes natural when you get time under your belt.
Safe travels.
all my stuff is math and engineering and I switched to business. 84 credits to knock out by august
just wanted to check in 
