Day 94 just checking in. Have a wonderful weekend!
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Checking in sober from Chicago OāHare. Airports are such a strange slice of humanity. I definitely am grateful of traveling sober @Dazercat and @Mno!
Sorry for your loss @Bran522. 20 years is a solid run, but losing a doggo is never easy.
Congratulations on the big 90 @Newlife5! Congratulations on 50 days @ShadowFax!
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@Dmcg1987 congrats on 150 days 
@Lotusflower congrats on 90 days
@Mich80 congrats on triple digits 
@TigerMatriarch thank you 
@Pica congrats on 60 days
@Maggie27 congrats on your week Iām so glad you had the means to save Chaplin, so sorry that you and he had to go through that
@Wakikki congrats on 50 days
@Deep thank you
@Quinny251 congrats on 5 months
@Mbwoman yes you are 
congrats on 350 days
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@paper_boats belated congrats on 150 days sending strength
@1in8billion congrats on 2 weeks
@Hopeful777 thank you so proud of you for maintaining your healthy habits 
@JennyH congrats on 2 weeks
@MolotovMoxie @HillbillyChris congrats both on 6 months
@Mno cool catch 
@Tim904 welcome back 
@Newlife5 congrats on 90 days
@Bran522 sorry for your loss enjoy the concert 
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@ShadowFax congrats on 50 days
558 days no alcohol.
23 days no cocaine.
Missed a check-in yesterday, but it would have just been that depression sucks again. I was scarily low. Grateful I managed to fall asleep after speaking to a crisis worker.
A little better today. Went to the CA meeting earlier this evening. There was only the chair and I there but I enjoyed and was grateful for it.
Not doing so well with the eating disorder this week, but trying really hard not to hate myself for it.
I hope youāre all having nice sober weekends.
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Sorry to hear you were feeling so low. I hope you have had a better day today.
Great job on trying to be kind to yourself on the eating disorder. It is so hard when you are trying to tackle multiple things.
I was bordering on anorexic when I was younger, certainlynot eating as a means of control. It seems that when I got over that I seemed to replace it with wine as a coping mechanism. I only made that connection very recently.
I really hope you sleep well tonight and tomorrow is a better day.
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Much thanks Alison. I will 
Thank you Mno I truly appreciate that warm congratulations means alot. 
Itās a blessing to have you and a lot of the members with more clean time on here to share experiences and wisdom.
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Thank you Cam.
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Checking in
Day 5
Extremely angry right now!!! Iām so mad Iām vibrating!! So this coworker I spoke about earlier pissed me right off! I absolutely need to deal with this bcuz that using thot popped instantly once I left work. I chatted with hubby and he was super helpful but my blood pressure thru the roof.
This coworker opened up to me about things and asked I not say anything. Thays fine, I reassured her earlier that I wouldnāt. Im sitting in the office watchijg videos on my phone while she fell asleep at the desk across from me.She looks up at me and says āAm I safe?ā And I was like āwhat?ā She points to my phone. I said to her. āAre u serious right now?ā I showed her my screen that I was watching videos. I then told her how insulted I was that she thot id say something about her sleeping or what she opened up to me about. She rolled her eyes at me. Well fuck me 
I flat out told her that she knows me for 8 years of working together and this is what she thinks of me?! That I would seriously say something to management about what she told me. Other peoples āstuffā isnt my buisness. I could literally care less. Told her that she basically insulted my character in the fact that she believes that I would seriously rat her out. I told her that if she didnāt feel comfortable talking to me in the 1st place, then she shouldāve thot twice about opening up. The only time I have ever said anything to management was when there was clear verbal abuse to the clients that I witnessed 1st hand! I picked up all my work stuff and told her Iād be sitting in the living room until 4pm so that she doesnāt continue to expect me of video taping her or texting management. Iām SO mad!!! I donāt really know how to manage this. The using thot has passed since I spoke to hubby. But my heart and chest are pounding and Iām vibrating.
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Prayers and strength sent to you Cam. Have a nice self care weekend. Glad you made a meeting hugs
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Holy crapadooly you have it all going on donāt you Beth!!?!! Iām so glad your daughter seems to be doing much better now, youāre an amazing Mum and warrior of a woman I hope you find some time to breath soon, sending much love your way 
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Checking in another sober day ! Not feeling to great but Iām sober 
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91
Good day. Letting go of past. Was supposed to attend a good friends baby shower but had to.be honest with her and decline. Will see her Tuesday with the gift
The shower starts at 7pm and will have a bar??
The husband was asking if I was drinking with themā¦
Toasting etc and I said know
After a talk with my sponsor and higher power I felt better about my decision. Iām too early to not
Be tempted by my addict brain started to romanticize the position.
No thanks.
Strong serene 24 all.
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Thank you!
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Others people biz and even what they think about you isnāt your biz either hun.
Be strong in your own convictions about who you are. Itās not about you. She has her own demons and mess going on and you can allow her that.
Try not to take it personal.
Be who you needed during such times.
Glad your hubby was helpful in support.
Keep it up sis.
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Of course the baby shower had a bar (insert annoyed tone), everything seems to include alcohol 
proud of you for acknowledging the risk and putting yourself and your sobriety first
Cate!!! @C_8 great to see you back and doing well 
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@MolotovMoxie Congratulations!
@LAB Wonderful growth!
@Girlinterrupted Lots of things going on but u seem to be handling it like a pro!
@Newlife5 Congratulations!
@Bran522 Sorry to hear that. Lol at the description of his personality.
@ShadowFax Well done!
@CATMANCAM Big hugs
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Ur absolutely right and I honestly needed to hear this. I forgot that (what u said). Thank u for reminding me that other peoples opinions and views of me are not my business. Hmmm. I have no control over what she believed I was doing. I definitly got REALLY mad over this and Iām wondering why at this point. Why did this upset me sooo much! When I get really mad which is super rare, I visibly vibrate. And I wish I knew what this situation triggered. I need to use this situation as a learning opportunity. I am very grateful for hubby actually. We talked it thru and he gave me some advice and it helped! And that in itself is huge bcuz he rarely doesnāt chat about stuff. He is very to the point and 1 word sentences and has a very ājust let it goā attitude. This was crazy emotion to feel and work thru clean and sober. First thot of using since I got clean. Almost like a āF itā type attitude. And Iām glad I am getting more comfortable talking about stuff and reaching out 
thank u for ur input!
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