Well done on making it through, those milestones should give you confidence. I am just off to bed after discovering a new tea which has camomile in it (Snore and Peace). Also wishing for peace in the world. There are so many good people wishing for the same thing, I just hope it makes a difference.
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š«. Well done. One day @ a time. Keep coming back 
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I have always been an early riser, my time now is 0400. What is this 5am club book? 
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@Kacialyn thank you so much 
@Soul_Man congrats for staying on track 
@Lisa07 congrats on all the 8s 
it really made me smile to read how excited your daughter was for them to all match 
@TigerMatriarch sending strength
@SadMemeQueen Iām sorry you were struggling last night, I hope today has been a little easier. Sending strength
@zzz congrats on day 1 good luck for your new job 
@Deep thank you
@Lorelai hey 
welcome back! Congrats on your days
@ShadowFax insomnia is a huge trigger for me too, so glad you made it through 
Some things I try when I have insomnia is putting a meditation on and seeing if that works, if not, just some relaxation music and read a book or read around on here until my eyelids feel heavy. Anything is better than lying in bed going crazy because you canāt sleep, especially when it triggers using thoughts. I hope you have some better sleep tonight.
@Butterflymoonwoman Iām so pleased youāve got your health benefit cards and I hope you get your meds sorted too congrats on double digits
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@Seb congrats on 50 days
@icebear Iāve been so relieved to read your sober check-ins while youāve been away, keep them coming
@shilohRica welcome 
I too wake naturally around 3/4am. If youāre on Instagram the 5am club have a profile on there you could follow to find out more
563 days no alcohol.
28 days no cocaine.
5 days no binge-eating.
Speaking to my sponsor today felt way more natural than yesterday, heās a good guy, I feel confident I chose the right one. Continued with the work he set for me. Anxiety was too much in regards to calling any newcomers, my mind was telling me Iāve got nothing to offer them and I could put them off answering the phone to other people who could help them way more than me. Iām hoping to push through it and do it tomorrow though.
Cried my eyes out throughout another powerful Zoom meeting tonight, it was actually my sponsorās and grand-sponsorās home group. They call them āHybridā meetings, where itās an in-person meeting, but connected to Zoom so people can attend online at the same time. I didnāt identify with the share as much as last night, but the group lost a 32 year old member on Monday, after he relapsed with a year clean. It literally could have been me, 3 times I was taken to hospital with a suspected heart-attack, Iām so fucking lucky and grateful to be alive today, feeling all of these fucking feelings after 8 years of being numb. I cried a lot even after the meeting had finished, thinking of the pain it would have caused my family if Iād have not made it, not only because of losing me, but for finding out what had killed me, because none of them have any idea Iāve ever even vaped or smoked cigarettes, let alone taken any illegal drugs. I never want to use again. I believe with every fibre of my being that it would kill me, and for once in my life I donāt want to die, because I am coming to believe that real recovery (as opposed to the white-knuckling I was doing before), and a better way of life is possible.
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It really is crazy man, it can happen so fast I was going to meetings everyday with a person and then he was just gone. Are bodies can not handle it anymore after being clean itās a very dangerous gameā¦. Itās like I always said even in the three suicide attempts I was always ready to die until I started dying.
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I can really relate to that feeling
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Sighsā¦ checking in at Day 4. Threw 70 whole days away. I was doing so good but then valentine day hit and i needed that liquid courage to have sex smh so here we areā¦ I went on a Binge the whole week missed worked and all ended up in the ER Iāve been here since Sunday they are using Ativan to taper me
Off it is pissing me off and making me want more. Tmrw Iāll be discharged and finding a new meeting is what i need to do alcohol has ruined my left time
And time again why is it so hard. Iām so disappointed in myself and that i let you all
Who know my story down
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We are all just ONE Decision away from messing this whole thing up we call recovery.
Thanks for your candid share.
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Welcome back! 
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820 days without gaming
1 day without streaming services/video platforms
After a month of having Netflix, DisneyPlus and DiscoveryPlus Iām back to the daily check-in thread. Struggling with motivation as my addiction doesnāt affect life nearly as much as it once did. But active addiction is bad, so Iāll have to keep trying.
Today was pretty good. Got out of bed at noon as I was catching up with the Ukraine situation. Then went to work from 13:00(1:00 PM) to 22:15(10:15 PM). afterwards spent time on TS. So nothing special really.
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Hiya and thanks! I stopped IG because it was one of the ways my ex used to stalk me. Thank you tho. Iāll think of you as i roll out of bed at 0400 and head to the gym. Squats and pull ups tomorrow! w00t!
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Checking in another sober day ! 1 month 9 days so far .
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This morning was war in my head and heart space.
Iām typically up between 4 and 5am, cup of coffee and in my Bible and devotionals.
It was there that God struck a strong chord within me. Source hit me so hard with truth. I have fallen back into old habit and pattern. i.eā¦ ā¦ Lying about little things which really are big things. I lied two times yesterday to two different people over small and past issues. (Pre sober things) Losing my temper and checking those I canāt trust and doing so with bullying and lies.
I was gently reminded that if I want Creator to help me , help others and have a power and life-changing outreach for those addicted and on the streets or living in their vehiclesā¦ I can not have a speck of darkness or deceit within me. Period.
Ughā¦
My integrity is what I must uphold.
Also lingering during my morning coffee was a statement from my ex who said he was dying of brain cancer then come to find out Iāve been gas-lighted this whole timeā¦ Yupā¦ That oneā¦ He text me yesterday saying Iām unneeded. And I should Fuck off.
Yeahā¦
So I lost my cool swagger and laid into him with simple and tainted facts and basically challenged him to mess with me again and find out.
Which brings me to my next line up of war torn thoughtsā¦
The dirt doing inner gangster in me wanted to rise up and plot his prides demise. Not his life just plotting to expose him which would mean taking me out of the Will of God, taking back to my stinking thinking, calling upon men and women who are still heavy in the dark world and etc ā¦ You can or may be able to see where Iām going.
Yeahā¦
So clearlyā¦ I may still be sober and I may not have a single thought of drinking or drugging but I really need more work on my recovery mindset and cleaning up or even finding my HALO. Because after re-reading my attacks and thoughts about this snake 
I once called my boyfriendā¦ oOoOO eeeeee ā¦ I had red horns and a halo wasnāt anywhere in sight.
After tearful and honest time with God I am again filled up by His grace and handling the remainder of this day appropriately.
Was able to get some gas cards for those in need and who live in their vehicles.
Spent some quality and peaceful time with both my parents who are adorable, in their 80s and still madly in love.
Now spending some quality time with my bffs family before hitting a meeting tonight.
Hallelujah on renewed thinking.
God bless my brothers and sisters.
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Day 310.
New book time friendsā¦
The author is relatable. She was once an addict. Living in new York. She is now a successful spiritual leader and some one of a life transformer. She is great to watch on YouTube also. She has published 8 previous books. All brilliant spiritual healing books.
She makes āwoo wooā fun
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You can be proud you are picking yourself up and starting again. You are not giving up or giving in.
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Woooohoooo!
Congrats on your 10 days and so awesome about the extended health benefits.
Fingers crossed they are coveredā¦ if not maybe there is a generic brand.
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Hey buddy. Appreciate you sharing this. Is the hospital providing any resources for you after the detox? Iām so glad you got medical attention. Thatās the best way to deal with it. Usually where I am at the hospitals will provide detox and a 12 week IOP. Anyway, I know you are struggling now and upset, but you got help and I know this addiction can be beat. Please let us know how we can help. You are not alone.
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Hope you have a good day 
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