Thanks menno and your absolutely right, I’ve known alot of you for going on a little over two years now. And you all are my ppl I love that
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Ooo very interesting article. I will admit… I have been on both ends. Being the natural helper that I am, I got into a bad pattern of trying to fix others. So when others would come to me upset, I would immediately try to fix it, instead of giving them the opportunity to talk and acknowledge their feelings. I’d try to immediately make them happy. But positive and negative feelings are not “bad”. And i used to think that there were “bad” feelings. Now… I’ve gotten into the habit of asking them, what do you need from me? Do you want someone to listen? Or would you like some suggestions? Instead of automatically trying to fix it and therefore coming across as if I’m dismissing their feelings (which im not but could be perceived as that).
Then I’ve been on the other end where i have felt dismissed. Sometimes a person will change the subject or tell me how I should feel (which is HUGE trigger for me and angers me instantly). Big ones are: I know how you feel? or You shouldnt frel that way? It’s very difficult for me to keep calm when thats said to me.
Everyone’s experiences are important to themselves. What may be traumatic for me, may not be for someone else and vice versa. So to tell someone, oh that wasnt that bad? or Why are you crying? (… this right here… grrrr) is super invalidating. Just cuz u don’t think it was awful or scary or whatever, doesn’t mean the other person feels that way. Emotional invalidation shuts people down and builds walls 
it used to shut me down and I lost my voice to speak up and acknowledge my feelings. Now it’s the opposite where I get overly vocal about it when it happens. It’s a tough one for alot of us i think. Great read tho! Thank u for sharing 
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Thank you for sharing Carolyn. I think it’s an important message to create safe places for people to share their feelings. When we create those safe places we save lives. 
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So so true!!!
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It hurt quite a bit when he did it, but that pain only lasted a few seconds. Yesterday wasn’t bad, but it’s pretty sore today
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Love you Dana 
thank you for helping create that space for me
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Awe Caroline 
I love YOU!! You’re an incredible woman! Strong, compassionate, wise, and intuitive. I am so honored to be on this journey with u. Both of us striving for a better life. I have learned alot from you. Thank u for always validating my feelings too and being apart of this forum where we all validate each other! Hugs!
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It looks awesome tho! It suits u
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Today was a test for me. Went to a friend’s house and was able to stay sober. I don’t k is if my resolve was as strong as I would have liked it to be, but I made it through!
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Got a new Lego set today which has kept me pretty busy. bought that and then I put away nearly all of my money so I can use it whenever I move out, so that’s the last thing I’ll be buying for myself in a while.
Feeling really sick today, but that’s typically how Sundays are when I have a Saturday with my whole family. Yesterday was just a mess and it wore me down. My family is always toxic, but yesterday it was especially bad. My family tried to have an intervention type thing with my alcoholic uncle. I’d be all for it, but my uncle is also the same person who sexually abused me for at least 5 years. (I only for sure remember 5, but I have vague memories of things happening before then) My family, however still does not believe this. So I see him regularly. I’ve numbed myself to that, but at the intervention I had to tell him that I loved him, cared for him, wanted to see him get better, etc. I do want him to get better, but I still hate him. It was just hard to see the look on his face. He loves to see me struggle to talk to him. The intervention only ended in him storming out and breaking things anyway. It was in my grandpa’s house, so he ended up breaking some vases and things that were my grandma’s. She passed 9 years ago. It broke my heart to see my grandpa so hurt.
Piercing is pretty sore as well, it could hurt for up to 8 weeks, but it’s worth it.
Sorry for the long post. I hope you all are doing well.
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Thanks! I wasn’t too sure about it at first but I’m really liking it now
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I’m proud of you!!
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I love a love fest. I think you are resilient, kind, aware, smart, brave, talented, and so incredibly thoughtful. You notice when people are in pain and you always reach out. I also love dreamcatchers, I always meant to tell you that. I’m honored to be learning from you on this journey Dana 
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Ahh man lol… ur making me tear up over here lol thank you!!! That means alot to me… really it does. Ahhh I just wanna hug u xo
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How hard this must have been for you I’m “hearting” your post bcuz I think you are an incredible woman who has been thru so much and who has had to work thru some tough stuff. It hurts me to hear that ur family does not believe what happened. That must have been so uncomfortable being there and feeling like u needed to say those things to ur uncle after all he did. Pressure from family is a tough spot to be in. I want u to know that I hear you and that I’m here for u girl xo reach out anytime if u need 
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Thank you so much. You’re an incredible woman as well❤️
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Sunday night Checking in.
2 years and 8 weeks!
No alcohol, which also means no hangovers.
Just living life on life’s terms. Sober.
I’m grateful every day for that.
Keep up the great work everybody. Y’all are worth it.
If you quit now you will end up where you first began. And when you first began, you were desperate to be where you are right now. Keep going!!
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Checking in, day 160.
One day at a time because some days are easier than others.
Grateful for the good things I have in life.
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