Good morning everybody Kat here checking in on Day 208. Had a great meeting last night, there were enough people that the meeting split and about 6 of us went off into another room to discuss Step 2. I noted how it was much easier for me to share in the smaller group just as it is on Zoom in smaller meetings.
Plans for today is laundry, laundry, laundry. Should go to gym too but hmm. Laundry first. Then my Healthcare professional meeting tonight. Life truly is a blessing. I never thought I’d be this happy without drugs and alcohol.
My cat is at an age ( 20 years ) where she needs to come wake me up several times a night to “find” me. Usually she settles down after that, but after I fed her at about 3am, she continued to come back crying. I tend to worry that there is something seriously wrong at unusual behavior like this, but I’ve learned I can only do so much.
Eventually I got out of bed and decided to get up for the day. When I got dressed and looked back at the bed, she had quietly settled down in the warmth of where I had been sleeping.
She is now sleeping quietly at my feet as I write this.
Yes, this absolutely is my excuse as to why I can’t seem to quit caffeine.
@KevinesKay great job on your 4 months! @Luckyredz Congrats on your 9 months from Crystal Meth and a year from xanax. You’re right. There are some judgemental people on this forum, also some who are harsh, and others who may truly be trying to help but don’t communicate in ways that work for you. I’m sorry that you’ve had experiences here that have lead to you feeling like you can’t share here. I don’t personally share a lot on the forum for many reasons, some of which have nothing to do with the forum itself; however, one thing I have learned over the years is that when you say something to a group, each person in that group will understand what has been said differently, will have a different perspective on it, and will respond accordingly. Those responses aren’t always pleasent. I hope you you’ve been able to find someone you can share your thoughts with. You’re doing great! @DryIn785 That’s great about the job! You will do great. Just remember that no one expects you to know everything right away. This is coming from someone who has supervised and managed enough people for a lifetime. Just do the best you know how and take advantage of being new to make whatever mistakes you need to in order to learn. @StarK31 If you need to spill out your feelings here, then do it. Those emotions lead to the desire to escape through the drinking, and this thread is to let you check in with what’s going on with you so that you can stay on course. It sounds like you have a lot of pain you’re working with right now, and I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now. Hang in there. @KellyKelly Welcome back @CATMANCAM I’m so sorry you’re dealing with these health problems and the ‘health care’ staff don’t seem to be taking you seriously. On the other side, you’ve been doing so well and those are great keychains. @Rockstar24777 One year… I’m not sure I can even imagine what it was like to get that phone call. You’ve made it through clean and sober. Says a lot. @SadMemeQueen That sounds very rough. I was sexually abused as a child, so I have some thread of understanding where you’re coming from. I’m sorry you had to go through that but also what happened with your family trying to do an intervention with your uncle.
Better, but still feeling sick. Body temperature 37,5. Hope it will only get better, not worse.
Tomorrow first and important day at new job.
I will try my best.
Drinking all kinds of medicine.
Resting.
Will update tomorrow.
I’m going to combine my gratitude with a check-in today. I’m grateful for 200 days sober. On some days it feels like I have years, and on other days it seems like only yesterday. And this is why it’s so critical to stay close to the sobriety tools that have brought me this far. I’m still learning, I want to learn, and that’s gonna take me far.
I’m grateful that I’m learning to stop and breathe deeply and think before reacting. I use those tools often with my husband. I’ll be grateful when he learns to do the same. Like me, he’s a work in progress. I’m grateful for our love.
@SadMemeQueen Megan, you are not alone. I was forced to be around the man who abused me. During those times, I wanted to keep folding into myself again and again until I was nothing more than a speck. I understand. Please message me if you ever need a shoulder to lean on.
I’m grateful to see @Tragicfarinelli making a new start. It’s tough in the beginning, Emma. You know this. But also know that you’re the only person who can stop you from picking up that next drink. You have support here, so cling to that in the beginning. Things do get better.
There’s a bit of unsolicited advice I’d like to offer. Private messaging here is not for hookups. When we’re newly sober, we are raw and in emotional turmoil. It may be hard to distinguish between genuine support and someone looking for attention. Please keep in mind that we are all flesh and blood human beings on the other side of these screens. If we’re here in this forum, it’s because we’re struggling with addiction. Please don’t toy with people’s hearts and emotions. And if you’re on the receiving end of this, either immediately block the person or inform a moderator.
I hope I haven’t stepped on anyone’s feelings. I just had to get some things out so I’m able to move forward. Much love to y’all
Hit 2 weeks clean from all mind altering substances! Feels good! Overall things have been good! But the messed up dreams HAVE to stop lol I wake up in an awful mood. Once I start my day I’m ok. But initially my day starts out emotionally crappy. And the headaches too. I think they are tension/stress headaches. Every damn day. But I’ll work thru it.
I did a church/God based zoom mtg for an hour with other ladies from back home who have gone thru similar stuff. It was soo nice. Then I got my hubby and mine tax stuff together for my brother to do soon. Made some calls. Waiting patiently for my new meds to arrive at the pharmacy. I need them to work lol it would be silly for me to think that after 21 years I don’t need meds. I’ve always been on something and I think meds would really help me. My skills that I’ve learned help of course, its just that I’m getting tired and exhausted of only using my skills and not having the combination of meds and skills to cope.
Anyway, I’m feeling really proud of everyone on here. Like u guys all rock!!! Seriously. This is a such a tough battle to face each and everyday. And we suit up and show up for our recoveries everyday! Striving to be better! I’m honored to be apart of TS
Congratulations @ShesGotMoxie ! Wow! 200 days ODAAT! Tempus fugit! Thanks for being here and all you have posted. There are treasures in your words and posts and you are very much a treasure also. Thank you and congrats! Celebrate YOU and your sobriety! It is HUGE!
Like me, he’s a work in progress. I’m grateful for our love.
You may not know it, but your kindness has brought me out of some low moods. I appreciate you. 
