Checking in daily to maintain focus #39

Holy milestone city!!!




I ended up going with the fk irons Spectra flux. It just has amazing reviews in colour, black and grey and lining. It’s really cool you can hook it up to a app and hover power, and bunch of other stuff. I really wanted the Valhalla but, you it’s not wireless you need to hook up to a amp and have a cord hanging and constantly have to reach over to shut the machine on and off. You can order battery packs for it but alot of reviews day the battery creates unbalance and alot of pain in the hand after a long day of use. The flux was way over priced but idc this is seriously all I think about every day it’s my passion so it will be worth it, may 21 will be one whole year of tattooing, but alot of that I was doing drugs, I feel this last 5 months of sobriety has been my best tattooing experience so far. Sorry for this long ramble :rofl:


Stay focused my friend. Don’t let that demon win! It’s natural to feel worried and overwhelmed, but trust that it will work out. If u drink things all go downhill… real fast. This great opportunity thats in front u could disappear. Dont give ur addiction that satisfaction hugs


Sending you light and love :yellow_heart: I’ve been holding on to all the joy I can these days. :sparkles:


Day 8 AF :black_heart:


Great job lady!!! Proud of you! Keep going :hibiscus:


Thank you :black_heart:


Absolutely totally worth it!! It’s your passion and something you want to become your livelihood so worth every penny I say! How exciting :clap::clap::clap:


Glad you are here with us, you deserve to live a happy and healthy life. Don’t listen to the bullshit your head tells you. Keep checking in here as much as you need to, we can help you get back on your feet. We’re stronger together.



Super exciting :blush:

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Checking in. Gonna be real for a moment.

Every now and then, someone says “Relapse is a part of recovery” and sometimes it gets stuck in my head (like now). I am thinking, I have been sober for over 3 and a half years, is it time for a relapse? I mean, many people say it’s part of the journey, right? Maybe I can’t truly recover until I have a relapse.

I’m going to Vegas next week and will by in large be by myself, I could probably get away with it, if I wanted. I don’t want to though, and I won’t. But I’ve been in a dark place mentally for a few weeks and having this thought in my head is kind of fucking up my vibe.

Anyhow, I’ve reached out to some sober friends, I’ve played the tape through and meditated on it. I’m pulling out the tool box and using them. I’ll not likely relapse, this time.

I know we want to make people feel better about their actions, but relapse is NOT a part of recovery, it’s a part of addiction; big difference.


I struggle with this statement to be honest. But I lean more towards believing that relapse is not apart of recovery. And the reason why I say this is bcuz when I have been told that relapse IS apart of recovery, I dont find it helpful. To say that substance use is a part of the process of recovery, for me, created a dangerous cycle of me excusing my behavior of using drugs during my recovery. And even tho it is common to relpase, I don’t find it to necessarily be apart of recovery. For me anyway, relapse happens when I am not doing something that helps me to continue on with recovery. If that makes any sense. If im doing what i need to do to stay clean, relapse doesnt occur. Thoughts of relapse are a warning sign for me that something isnt right with my recovery. Its a sign for me to do something so that i dont follow thru on the actual act of relapse. I’m glad ur sharing ur thoughts tho and I’m glad ur working thru these thoughts :slight_smile: wishing u only the best for ur trip :slight_smile:


Congratulations Carolyn !!
Happy 200 ! :slightly_smiling_face::tada::sunny:


It’s silly really. :man_shrugging:

But you’re right, it’s an excuse!


So happy for you Callie! 5 months is a big one !! Congratulations!!!


@HoofHearted I was in exact same headspace last week (I am coming up on 3yrs). Without the tools, knowledge and some sober time behind me, was I am to use sense and reach out. I really struggled to keep the nosie out of my head - (even playing the tape through), but this community helped me. Relapse/1 drink/5 drinks is not an option. You got this!!


It’s just remarkable really how our minds can literally twist and turn anything to almost justify our using/drinking. When I think back to some of the reasons or thoughts surrounding why I would relapse, it was silly lol but our minds are powerful. Probably even more powerful than we think!


Congratulations Dana! :cherry_blossom::slightly_smiling_face::muscle:t4:


I know this has been debated to death.
And you’re right, it’s part of the addiction.
Further more.
Premeditated relapse is just choosing to ignore your own strength and submit.
I glad you’re talking about it. It’s important to talk about it.
Thanks for sharing that. Hoof.


Day 55 AF
3pm Tuesday and I’m in bed. Been pushing myself hard with work, exercising and home duties recently and feeling a little overwhelmed and extremely tired. Being a sole parent to a 17yo with mental health concerns is really tricky and difficult most of the time. Hope everyone is doing ok