Getting better is such hard work and it can definitely be exhausting. The fact that you aren’t letting yourself step back to your old ways is huge progress. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Changing is hard work, so I tell myself that I wish I could give in and just let myself go backwards. But it is harder. Even if it takes less effort, it’s incredibly miserable. Which is therefore, harder.
That effort is absolutely vital. I know it’s tiring, but it will get easier. A lot of my old ways of thinking or old habits are beginning to go away. Instead of immediately thinking about falling back into them, my brain automatically diverts itself now. I never thought it would, and it’s taken a long time for it to start doing that, but we just gotta keep pushing through.
I’m incredibly proud of you. I hope you get some good rest
Good for you! I can’t wait for day three. I’m totally prepared to feel crappy😜. I think your totally right, we should accept and absorb the unpleasant feelings rather than fighting them. Remind ourselves that"This too shall pass"
Day 56 AF
Still struggling from yesterday. No energy, low blood pressure, shitty headaches. Decided to skip work and go get a PCR Test just incase. Back home and in bed for the rest of the day.
Checking in. Still sober and cigarette free. Came close to buying smokes today but keep taking it urge by urge and willing myself to get through the day.
Feeling very bogged down emotionally. I’m trying to limit the news and social media but it’s hard. My family in the Netherlands are very stressed and upset about the Ukraine situation (totally understandable of course as most of us are) but they are in constant contact with my Mum which stresses her out so she contacts me which adds to my stress.
Plus we have the floods that are happening in our state and northern nsw which are absolutely devastating and as I know people who have been directly impacted by these floods, it’s very hard to close myself off emotionally.
Also having alot of trouble with my 20 yr old son as he has long term struggles with his mental health. Feels like a constant cycle of speed bumps, falling between the cracks and hitting our heads against a brick wall and getting nowhere fast, if anywhere forward at all… and I absolutely hate saying it out aloud but it’s always in the back of my mind that one day he may just give up trying. As a parent I just want him to feel some peace and genuine happiness in his life, those moments have been too fleeting or non existent and it utterly breaks my heart. I will never give up fighting for him though and hold onto the hope that one day his mental health will turn a corner for the better
Sorry for the downer post, I just needed to vent these thoughts… I do know, that just for today I will not pick up that first drink and that at least is 1 positive I can share with you all today.
@Lorelai thank you @StarK31 belated congrats on your week+ good luck in your new position @Callie99 congrats on 5 months @icebear thank you @Cjp welcome back congrats on getting back at it sending strength @DryIn785 good luck with finding transport Keep telling that addict brain ‘no’, and I hope you get some sleep @Seb I hope you managed to get some rest sending strength @ShesGotMoxie it makes me really sad that this is happening wtf is wrong with people, there are plenty of dating sites out there on which people can expect/consent to this type of behaviour. Thanks for speaking out about it @paper_boats sorry about the nightmares @Kymage congrats on 60+ days sorry to hear about the floods and depression, sending hope and strength
@SoberWalker thank you I love the love lock sending strength @Mno I’m glad seeing the wine made you sick rather than tempted. Feelings are hard , sending strength and love and that photo is stunning @kat261 I’m glad you’re feeling better @Lotusflower I’ve been waiting for this congrats on triple digits sorry about your ex, well done for cancelling the phone contract. Sending prayers and strength @Misokatsu great catch congrats @SelfLove_42 I hope you can start getting some more sleep @Butterflymoonwoman I hope you managed to relax today @ShadowFax congrats on 60 days sending strength @anon9289869 congrats on 580 days AF and 6 months in recovery from ED, that’s huge @Miranda welcome congrats on beginning your recovery journey sending strength
568 days no alcohol.
33 days no cocaine.
10 days no binge-eating.
I tried from 8:30-11:30 to get through to my doctors to no avail. Then at 11:30 I called my sponsor, and he was ready to get started on more book work, so I picked him up and he came to mine again. We completed steps 1-3, I felt so energized! We are going to start step 4 this weeekend, then I will have a week to do the worksheets. He usually has a commitment to do the meet and greet at the Tuesday night meeting, but he was on another night shift tonight so couldn’t attend, his back-up also couldn’t do it because he was attending at football match, so I offered to do it. I am amazed at how much my confidence and pure willingness has improved in just one week since I asked him to be my sponsor! I did it, no newcomers showed unfortunately but I was waiting and ready should they have. I did a reading at the end of the meeting, I even managed to get through that without losing my breath.
I also popped in to my step-mum’s shop before the meeting, and ‘came out’ about my ‘alcoholism’, and joining ‘AA’, it isn’t the whole truth but it feels good to have been more honest and I’m glad they know I’m in recovery now so I can atleast be open about meetings and how I’m spending my time. Progress.
Sorry to hear some of this bec. You’re a warrior yourself and a amazing mom. I will be sending positive thoughts and prayers much love. Good job on not picking up the cigarettes today
Sorry about the floods, sending hope and prayers for all affected
It sounds like you are being there for your son, and if he knows that, it will be a huge source of strength for him. I hope he has professional support in place and that things will turn a corner asap.
That’s great. Thank you! I have heard of that but haven’t been following it at all. I will keep that close by! One of the reasons this forum is so good is because I do feel lonely a lot and haven’t had anyone to talk too. I’m going to try to print that out and put it in my fridge! Thanks again♥️
Thank you Megan… hugs! I can really relate to ur post. In one sense I was thinking not caring about anything is sooo much easier… but that’s also my old mentality. And look where it got me. In order to experience change, I need to change. And falling back to old behaviors and thinking is a red flag for me. I’m soo very proud of you too girl! Really I am. U fight everyday and ur winning and I’m so inspired by you!
I have noticed a few thoughts changed in me over time, like u mentioned for urself. Money used to be a serious trigger for me. And now it isn’t. And I’m not even sure when that changed lol but ya it just takes time for our brains to be re-wired
Nothing is impossible… im / possible!
(As in we can all make things possible)
@Becsta Nothing pains you more than seeing your child hurt. As a parent, you would literally cut off a limb to make sure they are safe. For your son to see his mama remain strong and be his safe place to fall, is an incredible gift to give. Sorry you are feeling a little off. Wishing you a better day, and one than brings your son comfort, peace and joy.
Totally understand how you feel regarding your son Bec. I’ve discussed with you previously how my son is transferred between services and never really gets treated as an individual or been offered the appropriate care he needs. It is heartbreaking. As a parent there is only so much you can do.
Well done on not giving in to the ciggie butt brain cravings lol
good luck in your new position 
congrats on getting back at it 
wtf is wrong with people, there are plenty of dating sites out there on which people can expect/consent to this type of behaviour. Thanks for speaking out about it 
sending strength 
congrats on triple digits 
congrats 
