Thanks to everyone who reached out today! She has been moved out of the PICU to a regular room. Hopefully she can come home in a day or so!
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Oh yes! This is such good news! 
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@Dansig I kind of feel like every day is an actual milestone. 
This is a great one for you. Good luck on the interviews.
@1in8billion great job on your 30 days!!
@DTC52 5 days is really good. You can get through this weekend. Take it moment by moment. What did you used to do on weekends before you began drinking? What things did you love to do in general before your drinking took over? What is something new you could try that could keep your attention but wouldnât take a lot of thought (if your headache continues)?
@zzz Sorry to hear about your hand. I hope it wonât be something too serious. Also, itâs been a while since I studied Russian, but it was still a little satisfying to look over what you wrote and see that I understood some of it.
@KellyKelly Life can catch us by surprise and sweep us away in the proverbial storm. Itâs hard. You can do this. Welcome back to the fight.
@Frank68 Great news! Thank you for the update!
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Am I even winning battles tho? I sit here on my ass all fucking day. I donât go out and play with my kids, I donât do anything but sit here and obsess over tattoos that I donât even do good at, and I donât even know why I fucking obsess over themđ. I seriously just want to stop, im supposed to have two appointments tomorrow and I seriously think Iâm just going to cancel them, I havenât used my new machine yet and I think Iâm just gonna sell it. I donât want to keep feeling like this anymore, I donât understand the lesson in it I just want to be doneđ. Iâm sorry Iâm so annoying with this stupid shit guys. I honestly just want to get some shit and forget about all this, I know that wonât do any good tho. I just feel so fucking stupid and like such a failure in everything I do in life
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Hey Mike, Iâm at glad u posted whats going on. I completely sense ur pain and hurt and frustration in ur post 
Iâm sorry ur feeling down. Idk about u but sometimes my thinking is just shitty somedays. Like today⌠Just shitty stinkin thinkin and I just need to rest and get some sleep and start fresh tmrw. I woudknt cancel ur tattoo Appointments. Honestly Mike, they wouldnât be coming to u if they didnât love ur style and skill and ability. Ur really good at what u do! Honestly!!! I know itâs hard to accept compliments sometimes. God knows we arenât used to hearing them. But if u have a passion for it then keep at it. I read that u obsess over it? Do u think maybe some of the frustration lies in not having balance in all areas over ur life? Reason why I say this⌠is bcuz when I obsess over anything, and other areas of my life start lacking, I get super irritable and frustrated. Especially⌠when the thing Iâm obsessive over is not going as well as Iâd hope. Just a thot. I could be way off. Either way tho Mike⌠ur good at tattooing hope ur night gets better!
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Checking in today 
I feel like my long burried ED (eating disorder) may not be as far behind me as I thought⌠my diet has been comparatively healthy but notably inadequate. Iâve been skipping breakfast and snacks altogether lately, and my lunch and dinner have been compromised quite a bit by inconsistent and unplanned work times. I donât have my usual appetite, only have one meal a day (usually an entire pot to compensate which also isnât healthy), and yesterday for the first time didnât even finish that?! I can literally eat like a bear if I want to, but can also neglect it much easier than others due to the impact years of a very unique, food-anxiety induced vomiting due to childhood trauma had on me. I guess hunger has been replaced by appetite, and that knows no limits in the traditional sense. Two different people meanwhile have told me they think âI look like I mightâve lost a bit of weightâ, which is strange as I was eating more traditionally (3 hearty, healthy meals) when they did, before or after mightâve been different if anything, but nothing I havenât done before anywayâŚ? Iâm not excessively underweight, but still slim I guess, and have recently developed a bit of a bad habit to slouch which Iâm now consciously trying to work on to prevent unwanted repercussions down the line⌠Anyways, my reformulated plan: I need to really make sure my diet and sleep are healthy and adequate for a start - I keep subconsciously dismissing them more than I should, despite both having improved notably over time. Maybe I havenât changed too much, maybe I have, but as long as my weightâs still nothing serious and things are looking up overall (a strange condradiction⌠maybe I need to eat more heavy things like meat, potatoes etc again as my diet has been more vegetarian and limited to pasta, vegetables or canned things which probably arenât diverse enough), I wonât dwell on them too much for now but think a lot what to change. So back into the one moment at a time it is, which is a good thing anyway, thatâs how my first week succeeded, and a month seems to have miraculously followed⌠
And more meditation, outdoors time and exercise too, they defs help centre and empower my mindfulness! But one step at a time for now⌠This community defs helps me figure myself out via exposureâŚ! Thanks for reading and enjoy your day wherever you are friend! 
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I hope you had a chance to have your bathđ
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How are you holding up? I find weekends hard too⌠But today wasnât too bad. Determined to make it to day five! I bought a whole bunch of fancy, healthy non alcoholic drinks tonight and it really helped!
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Thanks Dana, your more then right. My life is lacking all areas and yeah im frustrated probably bc things are not going as well as planned I geuss. These ppl coming tomorrow are that girl who messaged me and her friend and idk why I just have a off vibe about it. The girl just wants to watch and try to learn and get what she can out of me and I just feel they are gonna try to sabotage me in some sort of way⌠but then Iâm like is that just my mind? Anyways yes Iâm lacking mediation, exercise, being in spiritual touch with God or a higher power. Idk what to do anymore.
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Do you feel like youâre purposefully restricting or experiencing a true loss of appetite?
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@kat261 Congratulations!
@Annedizzle Hope u get some answers.
@1in8billion Well done! Sorry u are struggling with food.
@Frank68 So glad to hear it!
@anon53116147 From what I see on here, u do plenty with the kids. But if u feel like u should take them out but arenât up to taking them to a park or something, how about blowing bubbles outside the house or a skipping contest?
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I try to remind myself that people canât make you feel a certain way. Literally, I say that in my head all the timeâŚâI am choosing to allow myself to become upset, hurt, angry etc.â I really do say that to myself, but at the same time, thatâs a super high expectation to have I think. Itâs something I will still strive to believe and work on but itâs definitely a challenge. My husband can be really negative too, so I feel the same sometimes. Itâs super hard to stay positive when thereâs negativity all around. Have you ever listened to Abraham Hicks?
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Your absolutely right fleur we need a actual day of being outside playing. Itâs been super cold, but still I need to suck it up and get the heck outside with them. Thank you
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Ah that woman that was rude to u before? In this scenario Mike, if it were me⌠I woudlnt go thru with it. And I say that bcuz from what uv written, it seems odd and something doesnât seem right. I would be listening to my gut feeling on this one. Maybe you need a âMike dayâ. Just a day dedicated to you and ur girls⌠where u incorporate alittle of everything⌠something that helps the physical aspect, something for the emptional/mental, the spiritual aspect, the âfunâ aspect (maybe somethinf fun with ur kiddos). Just a little of everything. Take a step back from ur usual routine everyday and get in touch with your inner self
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Happy to see you.
Sorry youâre feeling sad.
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Bad vibes Mikey⌠that chickâs sketchy.
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No I havenât? Who is he? What does he do? It is hard when negativity is all around. It makes being positive and optimistic so much harder 
Abraham Hicks(or Ester Hicks) is an inspirational speaker. You can search you tube for Abraham Hicks and letting go of anger, or Abraham Hicks and depression⌠Literally anything and some thing will come up. Iâm not super religious, but I believe in a higher power and our higher selves. She has a way of talking about things that Always calms me down, and I thought about you because a lot of what you say and how you respond reminds me of her. You might like listening to her. Once in a while, I find something she talks about that doesnât really resonate with me, but mostly I find it extremely helpful.
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@Its_me_Stella thank you guys I actually seriously needed to hear this. It is sketchy and weird, I am going to cancel it in the morning and my ex was going to have the girls go to a baby sitter. Iâm going to have them come over and weâre all gonna have a fun day. Iâm not gonna stress over this my girls need to have fun.
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Iâm a little late on this conversation but I totally agree to listen to your instincts!!! Iâve ignored mine before and it never works out well.
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