Sending you love and light-hang in there, you are doing the hard work and it’s going to all be okay 
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Omg… it bothers me to no end when I hear people put down others. By looking at me at this present moment, u would’ve never known that I’ve struggled with drugs for 22 years or that I was a prostitute or have mental health concerns. I don’t dress or act like I’ve ever had an issue with those things… unless I get angry… then the “hood” side makes an ugly appearance haha (trying to work on that). So when I’m standing next to someone who is saying something about someone who is addicted or who has worked the streets etc, I get very defensive bcuz they are coming from a place of complete ignorance. It’s sad really, the lack of compassion some people have.
The attention piece ur going thru does get better. I’ve been clean from crack (my old DOC) for 26 days today. My emotions are still like a damn roller coaster but my memory is coming back, my focus is much stronger (like I can hold my attention on 1 thing for some time and repeat back a sentence from what people tell me now… where as I could only remember maybe 3 words). I’m more intune with myself and my surroundings. Seriously tho ur doing great girl! Take what people say lightly. That’s their issue if they have problem with u doing ur best. Don’t let these people or their actions rent space in ur head 
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I am beyond proud of you and the fight and determination that you display. You show up everyday and face each challenge as a warrior does. If I could offer anything, it would be to trust the process. As the mind becomes clearer, and the fog lifts, we see and feel our pain up close. This will pass, that I know for sure. It took me three years to “even go there”, but I am finally free of the prison (inside my head) I was living in. I wish that and so much more for you. Life is a beautiful thing, it is your time to live and enjoy it. Day 26 and counting!
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I get extremely defensive when it comes to people talking down on prostitutes. I never was in that willingly, but I was taken at 17 by a sex trafficker and wasn’t able to leave for three years because his entire family profited off the situation he had going… Just because you see someone is doing sex work doesn’t mean they even chose to do so. But even if they did you don’t know their story so just mind your business. 
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Thank u so SO much! Trust the process…my God that’s a tough one. It’s sooo weird bcuz I am scared and excited of the process at the same time. Initially I was super scared of recovery bcuz I didn’t trust myself not to relapse. I don’t trust myself on most things to be honest. That’s why I talk about my HP alot in my posts… bcuz that’s the ONLY thing I can trust. I make poor decisions when left to my own devices. Seriously 
even tho my intentions are good in the moment. But with God all things are truly possible. I’ve seen and experiencd things in my recovery that I could’ve never done on my own. But yes… I need to trust the process more. I still find myself fighting it a bit. But with my HP guiding me and me turning my thinking and acting over to my HP, things are happening!
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Absolutely girl… and jeeze I’m so sorry u had to go thru that 
my heart goes out to u. I’m glad ur safe now from that tho. Most of the girls I know and still talk to from back home (some out of the trade and some not), say they didn’t want to be involved in it. Like myself it was a slow transition from one thing to the next until I ended up right dab in the middle of it and was wondering what happened?? How did I honestly get to this place?? It was soo tough getting out for a variety of reasons. But life is good today. And I’m proud of you too! Really keep coming back here often and keep posting! ODAAT
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It’s been a while since I read or posted anything. I’m lazier in my off-time now I guess. First:
Congratulations to @Dazercat !!
800 days is amazing!
So things go pretty well. Job’s great, but I feel helpless lately because breathing is getting harder. And I’ve gotten fatter for no reason. Can’t go to the gym I’m paying for since I don’t have a car. Some screwup happened with my first paycheck. I’m on direct deposit so it should’ve been in my account Friday. 
Hope everyone having a great sober weekend!
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Congratulations 
amazing
@Chikai so proud of you for your 4 days and going to work through it is incredible, coming off meth I was in bed for a week. I am sad that nobody at work knows how hard you’re trying and struggling and are giving you a hard time.
I also hope you can get treatment for your adhd but it is hard I know from experience some Dr’s don’t want to give any addicts the stimulant drugs used to treat it. I hope you find someone open-minded in future.
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Checking in on Day 17 AF. Finished my first week yesterday back at the job I lost 2 months ago because of a binge. My old boss actually took me back even though it was my fault for screwing it up. I was going to turn my uniforms in to the temp agency that hired me and the lady said she wanted to call and talk with my boss. She called back and told me he wanted to see me in person. He then told me to come back in and start back to work ! Only on Day 17 and the miracles have already begun ! Headed to my precious AA Fellowship in a few hours. Life is good !!!
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… incredible stuff, thanks for sharing your thoughts… that acupuncture mat sounds good 
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In the darkest days and many was had, I said the Serenity Prayer and read Footprints in the Sand, over and over again. Your HP, will carry you
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This is beautiful… absolutely!!! Thank you
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Well done @Chikai …proud of you dude, one day at a time, like little tests come up every now and then ( your co worker shouting at you, and the comment about an addict ) to test your serenity at your choice of putting down the substances. … “cunning” is one of the words mentioned in meetings … You keep it (clean time) with diligence…🫂… ODAAT
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Do u find ur acupuncture mat helpful? I have NEVER heard of this! I’ve had acupuncture done on my ears many times but never had a mat!!! Wow! Cool
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Oh my gosh absolutely it is amazing. It hurts when you’re not use it. But if you ride it out do your deep breaths I’ll lay on it for 45 minutes some days. And it literally draws all the stress and tension right out of your back
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What?! O.M.G. where did u get urs? Online?
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