I’m glad that your back posting and thanks for taking the time to personalized all of your messages. I’m sorry to hear about your friend. It sounds like you’re going through a lot and I hope that you can continue to post. We are all here for you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I can understand how you might feel like you want to isolate yourself. This is probably the time when you need the most support and I’m glad that you’re feeling so motivated. Please keep sharing and know that I am sending you positive thoughts 
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Just waking up on my day 2
The struggle to sleep last night was a bit frustrating, I’ve gotten myself ise to going to bed again with a belly fully of beer and basically just passing out. But at least this time around I was expecting it and I know in a few days it will pass. To prepare for it last night I did all the stuff I’d normally do when i wake up so i could set my alarm a bit later, which seemed to help. Absolute worst case scenario and I’ll just go pick up some light sleeping meds like i did last time until I’m over the initial bump of sleeplessness.
The not smoking is what really got me. I had to keep myself busy last night so I would t think about going outside.
Upon opening my eyes today my first thought was going for a smoke (as it is with a lot of people that smoke), so I made the mad dash to my cabinet and got a patch onto my shoulder right away then took a few nicotine sprays (I’ll include a picture of the stuff, it’s a real game changer for people trying to quit). The cravings for the nicotine and what not are gone, but the habit craving is still holding on strong and it’s a bit frustrating. But I’m way to focused to turn back now.
One day, one hour, one minute, one moment at a time, we can all reach our goals.
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Oh that must have been freaky to wake up after that dream. I had a super realistic dream last night too but not about using… It was about losing my dog. I woke up in a panic and then felt him beside me and felt so relieved. I wish you a great day and congratulations on your sobriety, you’re strength, your acceptance and your motivation to stay positive:heart: you’re doing so amazing!!!
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Day 3.
Wish it was day 300 but you have to start somewhere! Best wishes to you all!
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Oh I’m glad it helped a little. There’s so many different guided meditations and some work for me and some don’t. The one I sent you is one that I always go back to. I used it last night too and it definitely helped me. I hope you have a more peaceful day today.
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Thanks so much for your reply! I know it’s important for our kids to understand that we also deal with difficult emotions and I think talking about it is definitely good. I just felt so short tempered yesterday and didn’t respond very well but my daughter has such good communication skills she’s often letting me know that she understands but that I could probably say that in a different way. It kind of pisses me off sometimes(LoL) because she’s right- and wise Beyond her years I think. I also think it’s a lot easier for her to move past things than it is for me too which I’m happy about because I hate how I can’t seem to let go of experiences that upset me. It’s definitely something I am working on. I re-live and replay negative experiences in my head so much especially when it’s something I have said or done that I regret. All we can do is move forward reminding myself that. Anyways I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to read your response thank you so much for caring
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Uh oh. Texted my case mgr. cuz she’s 15 minutes late, asked her if she was still coming by. Said that she heard a rumor. I’m pretty sure she already knew I relapsed so I can’t figure out what this rumor could be. My day was going so well, too. 
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Thank you
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Thank you!! 
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Day 36. Still sober. I had a minor craving two days ago, but I managed.
Nice week!
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She sounds amazing, you must be so proud of her. I do know what you mean and get stuck on things as well. I am having to sit with those feelings now I am not drinking through them and that is so hard at times. I hope today is a better day 
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thank you, how sweet of you to say that. It took some courage to do it, but I did it. Thnx for your message🌷
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Day 108. Visited my grandmother today. Today is a good day for her. It was nice to see her up and getting around. Also nice to not see her screaming and yelling. Have a blessed day everyone!
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Evening check-in. I was reading do much about motivation these days. Maybe I was also primed as a read interesting stuff about it in a book.
I am pretty sure that I wouldn’t be sober with motivation only. It’s sometimes a good starting point to initiate change but it won’t keep me going. It is changing so quickly. My motivation can change in hours or even minutes. If I think about it and I have also asked this here. I used to wake up and was so determined or motivated to quit for good, that today I wouldn’t drink. Yet, well… Almost never lasted. Then I read tools and that I had to have a toolbox at hand. Didn’t really know what the hell that should mean. Now, I have an idea of what this means.
The job interview was good, I guess. I cannot really tell what the woman was thinking. I couldn’t read her mimic. She is not German so that might be a reason.
The other person was really squeezing me out about my CV and why and why and why I did this or that. It’s not an industry where you can say: well, I was in therapy for some time and needed to be inscribed to have health insurance. So, at a point I said that I don’t feel like I have to justify my CV. What was done, is done and that all these decisions made me what I am today. That I made many different experiences which I value a lot. Anyway, I signalled that I was interested and should get a response latest on Monday.
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Thank you so much!!! So appreciate it and feels good to be doing the things just bc I can now 
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Thank you , it’s a battle and good journey to win and stay on. Sending you positive energy also
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Awww Thank you so much Eric. Right back at you! You are Awesome.
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Day 19 and I’m living it
Went to my fave coffee shop and they know me there. I love being a small part of places like this. Got to do my journaling and catching up on more things I delayed pre-sobriety.
Woke up and did (almost) my whole morning routine including a solid 25 min run! I did that! Yeahh buddy 
For the 1st time since I can ever remember I can actually say: IT FEELS GOOD TO BE ME!
This is great tbh
I like it now and I’m making it mine to keep
I’m still here, and will be even when the rain shows up. I think I’m realizing life and emotions are like the weather. Can’t have sun all the time or things dry out. Rain and low points are the thing that can cause growth sometimes. I can try to smile, or at least just breathe, and walk through the rough patches and come out drenched and okay
Have a great day guys, take care of yaselfs
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I took away some Chinese food at a restaurant, when I saw the wine bottles behind the lady who gave me the food, i froze, became hesitant, then auto-kicked my ass, payed the food and came back home.
Me 1 - my addictions 0 
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