In the last two years (after getting sober) I was promoted and now had the courage to apply for a new more challenging role. No more barely functional addict for me (or you)!!! I am older than you are, so it is never too late.
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Hello all! Checking in, still technically day 3. My count was off yesterday bc I was not feeling well. My brain felt like mush from this sinus infectionšµāš«. Today was my first day back at work since I quit drinking. As soon as i get home my normal routine is take a shot, figure out dinner. Then continue to drink while I cookā¦ I cook everything from scratch and really enjoy cooking so it takes me at least an hour to get a meal prepared, while drinking the whole time. By the time itās time to eat ive had at least 5 shots and feelin good. Eat, have water with my meal, then sneak more shots until I go to bed, ignoring my partners needs bc im trying to hide my breath and mental state. BUT today!! I decided to jump on this app as soon as I got home, catch up, and make my own post. Iāve been home for almost an hour now and Iām ok. I mean, Iām craving out of habit, but I dont want it if that makes sense. Itās almost like today, the hard part is the muscle memory and not the addiction. Looking forward to day 4!
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7 months today- just realized as I was going to bed 
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I wish you a positiv an also satisfying answer! 
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Day 49 of no self harm
So last night at about 2am my grandpa called saying he had pain bad enough he needed to go the ER. His catheter was loose and pinching him (which i imagine was horribly painful). Waited with him in the ER from about 2:30 until 8am. Once they saw him, they just took his catheter out and did some blood work and all was well. That all took about an hour after 6 hours of waiting.
Anyway, he went home and heās doing good. The antibiotics cleared up the UTI enough already that heās able to pee fine on his own. Heās back to normal, just tired. If I need to though Iāll stay with him during the day tomorrow.
As for me, Iām just tired and frustrated with my family. They just refuse to help and theyāre so selfish. It kills me to realize that my grandpa has to deal with such selfish children after all heās done for them. I worry that Iāll end up like the rest of my family. Thatās my worst fear. I just donāt have very much energy to begin with, and Iām spending the little I have on everything but myself. I havenāt been taking care of myself for weeks.
I was tired enough that I didnāt turn in my homework for this week of school. But I had a full 100% in my class, so I donāt think 40 points will kill my grade. And I still have 5 weeks to get my grade back up.
Something positive is that all the blood work came back as normal for my grandpa. So heās doing better than I thought.
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Iām really happy youāre grandpa is doing better than you might have thought. I wish the rest of the family would step up to the plate! Itās hard when you care so much and others donāt show the same compassion.
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It definitely is. I just canāt wrap my head around why they donāt do everything possible for him.
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Day 629
First day of my off week. Didnāt get out of bed until 10:00, yelled happy birthday at my partner while dragging myself to the kitchen for oatmeal and coffee, stretched, watered plants, had an almost two hour long phone conversation with my sister who might visit in two weeks , ate the birthday cake my aunt made for my partner, my mum and stepdad treated us to dinner, and we had a nice walk home afterwards. The day went by fast but it was a good one.
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Thank you all so much. I just read your situation at work. This must be horrible. I hope you find a satisfying solution and a new job asap.
@Mno I like the bike but on long rides the saddle is a pain in/for the ass 
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Day 8 letās go 
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What the fuck. What am I doing.
You are bettering yourself. And I know itās intimidating. Iāve been into computers my entire life but never finished formal education. Here I am at 52 trying to get into cybersecurity. With my drinking history, and the job history that comes with it, Iām doubting myself. But stick with it, okay? You can do this. 
P.S. What kind of science?
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Thank you!!
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#Day 1309 
Hairdresser, triftshop, walk, some housechores.
Thatās my plan for this day off.
A week ago I started to take a new supplement Tru Niagen. Anyone here who uses it?
Iām feeling benefits from it like having more energy. Expensive stuff but happy I notice change. Drinking was expensive as well so thanks to my non drinking I can affort this to increase my health.
Picture from my walk trough the city of Den Bosch last sunday. The art in the water is from a creature of a painting made by Jeroen Bosch.
Letās made this day a day to be proud of! What are you are going to do to make that happen? 
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1047
Instant coffee. We moved to a different area yesterday, called Bohemian Switzerland. Very pitoresque. Will explore some of the touristic hotspots today. Sober and clean.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from Hrensko.
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Nice job Mikeā¦
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Hoping for the best mate, good luck today !
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Those make the best scientistsā¦ 
Go for it. Donāt remain stuck in old ways just because they are the only ones familiar.
Iām 48.
Young enough to make drastic changes in life.
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Checking in, feeling a bit lost. I wonāt drink though.
Covid has now gone around the family and my Dad tested positive yesterday on his birthday. Today he had a fall and couldnāt get up, had a temperature and was confused so the paramedics took him to hospital. We canāt visit because of covid. I am sure he will be fine, but it just takes me back to the day he had his stroke and heart attack within 24 hours (technically lost him, were told to say goodbye). I miss the strong, healthy man he was.
I am sorry to those that are facing their own bad news and difficulties @michaeljlogan74 @SadMemeQueen Thinking of you.
@Hazy I am so impressed with anyone that follows their dream. I remember in the middle of my Masters a couple of years ago feeling completely overwhelmed, but so proud of myself on completion. It is so worth it!! It is hard to chase your dreams as a woman approaching middle age when you are a mother, but we are still so young and have so much of our life ahead of us. My Mum didnāt have a degree at your age, and by the time she retired a few years ago was a Doctor and working as an historian at a University. Total inspiration, and you can be that to your children 
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Those terrible dreams. I had them a lot in the beginning too. But I had a lot of bad dreams anyway so I asked my psychiatrist meds and it helps me a lot. No more dreams and a side effect of this drug is that it takes away the craving for coke. I think itās doing its job as Iāve been clean for almost 8 months and havenāt had a craving yet. Of course you canāt recover with just a pill, thereās a lot more to it, we all know that, but it helps me a bit and itās not addictive. Itās called Topiromate.
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Get well for your father. That must be hard for you. I hope he recovers soon!
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