Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher
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Your doing well coping, id suggest throwing the wine down the sink and you may feel more relief.
Stay strong 
Edit: iv scrolled up and glad you poured it away. Your doing great.
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Thanks. I’m really glad I brought this here. You guys understand. X
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Main plans for tomorrow (day off work):
- See doctor for checkup
- Jog
- Buy yoga mat for calisthenics workout
- Eat healthily
- Cleaning
- Be mindful
Good night fam! 
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Nice…it also looked like that😘
Congrats on 52 Delia.
Sorry to read about your mom.
Have you seen this thread here?
You’re not alone.
I’m glad you’re here sharing.
It sounds very triggering.
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very well done. After a few months of clean, I also changed drastically, in a good way. I started listening to different music, went into nature more with my dog, I started eating very healthy for a while and no longer meat, but I didn’t keep up with that. And I went into yoga and started an education and work. Pfff quite a lot when I write it like that haha
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Checking in
Day 206
@Deelzebub my mum has poor mental health, as i do but my mums is at a deeper level, although she doesnt drink she can be very rude and uncaring which today has been a big trigger for me, i had to step back and just ignore it. Although mine was over the phone not face to face so easier to step out of the situation and also wasnt about drinking, but it definitely sets my temptation scale higher, its really strong of you, to not be able to withdraw from the situation and have temptation staring right at you, im proud the way you are dealing with this, just thought id let you know i think your great the way your handling your situation.
Well done to everyone who is having another sober day, i stand with you proud
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Hi Ashley, welcome to the party!! 
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It sounds wonderful. Did it make you feel good, better? I want to eat healthier, and exercise more. But I think I need to start small, so its not overwhelming and make me end up quitting. Today I actually going to do something I have not done in years, sleeping in my bed.
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Hang in there…I appreciate you reaching out. One day at a time. It will get better.
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yeah it makes me feel really good. Except for not eating meat that didn’t work. From time to time I like a steak but now I eat less meat. But as for the rest, it’s helping my recovery very well. I like it when my days are filled, of course with moments of rest and in the evening I do nothing but watch a movie or something. I need structure and like to do things that make me feel useful.
But of course it’s good to start small. Sleeping in your own bed is so nice. At least if you have a good bed? Hell yes, I don’t know where you slept but I think you will be very happy sleeping in your own bed. That’s a very good first step. Enjoy!
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Day 24
So I finally finished going through all my files which was drastically overdue and it looks like someone with a brain uses them now instead of a bunch of chimps throwing files in a box lol
Going over to my mom’s to have a little impromptu to birthday dinner for my younger brother who turned 31 this year
Pretty sure my best friend of 18 yrs has been lightly ghosting me for like the last month seeing as she keeps not responding to anything with more than a few words or an emoji and has straight up just been ignoring me for the last week or so.
I get it, this happens between us sometimes. We both deal with mental health issues and busy days but I am gonna call her on Tuesday if she still doesn’t reply to my real simple ‘thinking of you love you’ kinda text today or tmw. I’m not a fan of the ghost life and I’ve been patient.
Still doing my thing and having successes slowly
Have a good day everyone
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Hey guys. Just checking in day 42.
Going to bed now.
Bbye and stay safe
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Day 19 . Coming from a retreat. A good opportunity to connect and forget about obsessions
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667 days sober 
life is good. Having slight anxiety today but that is okay. It happens.
There is someone in the house smoking weed and the smell is coming to our apartment. Slightly triggering but went out a bit and opened the window to air it out.
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Tonight will be day 54 of no self harm.
I got through last night okay. Chatted with a friend for about an hour and then went to bed. Didn’t get much sleep but that’s nothing new.
Nothing has happened today, I’m just feeling extremely nervous and drained. That is usually how I feel on Sundays though considering Saturdays are often near -traumatic. The whole time I’m there in surrounded by people who have abused me in the past. I spend most of the day in fear and/or reliving things in my head. I think my body is just expecting the usual Saturday aftermath so I’m not feeling great.
I promised my friend that this next Saturday I’m going to talk to my grandpa about how horrible Saturdays are for me, or stop going altogether. I’d never see my grandpa if it weren’t for Saturdays and he’s the only support I have irl. So that’s not an option. But I don’t think I’m capable of telling my grandpa everything that has happened. I feel like it would destroy him knowing what his kids have done. I know Saturdays are unsafe, but I can’t bear not to see my grandpa. I just want to spend whatever time my grandpa has left on good terms. I honestly may have to lie to him and tell him I spoke to my grandpa. It feels like an impossible situation.
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You are not invisible here, and u don’t have to feel lonely either. You do seem a bit lost, how can u find your way? Not by using, I know that. Did u call therapists? Get to some meetings? Wishing urself clean won’t work, u gotta do more.
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