Very common these milestone cravings. Good you’re here. You’ll get through it. We’ll pull you through.
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A Pi Kay is the name in English friend 
. Success with that. And with your weekend and time off of course.
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Thank you! I’ll keep pushing, not going to let this voice get to me, again. I know the outcome of a glass, I remember!
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Day 8, and I’m not great but it’s not drug/alcohol related. I’m really struggling mentally. I started a manic phase at some point recently, and noticed for a second but never did much, bc clearly watching like 2 minutes of a meditation video was obviously enough to curb an entire bpd manic phase.
I’m definitely resenting the neurons in my brain for letting me convince myself that I was actually gonna be able to pull that off. Tried making impulsive sweeping life changing choices. Was actually self-sabotage in disguise.
Always living in this mind is tiring. I need a break from myself. Life goes on, lessons learned. I’m trying
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All the knots and hook types and baits is all the fun in the strategy and satisfaction of skill building for me personally! And it’s not embarrassing at all! Look where we live and I don’t like maple syrup, I’m expecting the Canadian special forces to come knocking on my door at any minute! 
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Checking in on day 35
5 weeks guys 
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Ugh. I feel so called out. Especially marijuana. Switching to edibles and vapes when my throat hurt felt “healthier.” Times ive been Sick as shit and needing to “relax and recover” with a joint, wine, and movie.
I viewed it as medicinal!
An absolute lie to myself. Uuugh.
P.s. should say I do think it can be medicinal to many people! Ive read the testimonials by many people with illnesses. I just have abused it to the point where its not an option for me.
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On day 11, sleep is a bit out of whack.
When I drank I couldn’t drag myself out of bed, now my body is like WE GO TO SLEEP EARLY AND WE WAKE UP AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE! 5am, then 4am, sometimes just before 4. It’s like my brain/body is so jazzed to not feel like absolute death and it just wants to spring into action at stupid o’clock everyday.
Like, it’s 4:30 in the morning amd I’m ready to go swimming or to the gym, or for a hike hahaha.
Coming into winter here so the sun won’t be up for a few hours still. Someone tell me to go back to bed 
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Day 618
Leaving for the cabin 
I hope you all have a wonderful sober weekend and I look forward to catching up with all your check ins come Sunday.
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Day 37. Been a bit low in mood the last couple of days. Been keeping cosy and taking naps in the afternoon. Quite a number of vivid dreams that have a prophetic feeling upon waking, but then I think it’s just the fact that I’m having dreams at all that is surprising me.
Thankfully no urges to drink at this point.
I had the juice of a lime and a lemon in a glass of kombucha the other night and it was really satisfying.
Glad to be sober.
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Lmao that’s great. Honestly I don’t eat it much myself either. Occasionally with some french toast and I’ll occasionally dunk my grilled cheese sandwich in it but that’s it lol.
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Thanks so much! It seems like my best defense right now is just taking it slower than I’m used to and remembering not to make any broad, sweeping decisions without consulting at least one other person in my circle of trust right now.
I know I’m heading in the right direction but taking baby steps is gonna is have to be my motto for a while until I’m a little deeper into the therapy and treatment process, I suspect.
I’m so thankful every day to have this place to come check in with and appreciate the support so much 
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Mno
Hopefully you recover before your holiday.
Hmmmm….I am about 8 years behind. I better get cracking on maintenance!
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I fucked up everyine much love, I’ll see yah when I get back take care
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Mike, whatever you have done, you can keep the damage minimal or really fuck up. Don’t disappear off and go on a spree, hang around on the ‘seeking help’ area and let people talk to u.
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Checking in Day 26
So grateful that it is Friday. Going to sleep in. Today was super stressful due to my Board meeting. Financials are a huge challenge. But I’ve got the support. Still…my situation sucks.
I have a call with a recruiter tomorrow, we will see. I’d have to move for the gig.
I totally craved a craft beer on my way home, but didn’t stop at the store. The puppy pooped in the house…Ugh!! My wife says it only happens with me. Geez…
Oh well, I need to decompress, so I’ll enjoy reading everyone’s check in and listen to vinyl.
On the turntable ~
Nigerian Funk compilation 70s
Strut Records 2001
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Day 200
Checking in for the significant number.
Been really depressed and phasing/sleeping through my days.
Still alive, still sober. Just not okay.
I hope all is well with everyone, I’ve missed it here.
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