Hi Kat, hope you feel better soon. Hugs~
3 Likes
Getting in a proper daily workouts to help in my recovery journey, I may have sore muscles but good sore 
Iāve been using an app on my phone which doesnāt require equipment which Iām loving.l, if I stay committed I might be able to move my current home gym equipment out to the garage
11 Likes
Hi everyone~Day 29
Left work early due to a Dentist appointment. Mondays are very tough for me. Iām pretty depressed, but Iām grateful to be sober. Reading everyoneās check in makes me feel better. Stressful day at work as usual. Listened to a podcast on dealing with difficult people. There is a department director at work who is just not nice.
Ughā¦
Iām going to stay positive and protect my joy! I canāt let others steal my joy. God is with me and provides me fortitude to deal with difficult people.
Found out that two jobs I applied for didnāt result in an interview. That made me feel bad. I know it is not personal, but it hurts. I know staying sober is a win, but I really need a vocational win badly.
Going to my AA home group tonight. They support me and Iāll feel better. Still sad, but Iāll make it through.
26 Likes
Two sides which are having great seasons! Thatās so good to hear mate, football has been my life for years, followed England national team around the world for 12 years. Following football in this country is a drug honestly, I canāt stop, unfortunately my drinking culture started there which isnāt great but Iām doing it sober now and still loving it. Youāll have to come over to see your teams! 
4 Likes
Thanks so much, I am doing OK. Hope you are too!
1 Like
Thanks for such a kind message, I really appreciate it 
2 Likes
Would love to. My son travelled over for a few Hammers, Leyton Orient and Man U games a few years back and loved it. My Dad is Italian so my first love is Juve and the effect of The Heysel Stadium tragedy had an everlasting effect on me as a 14 yo. Would love to visit Brussels someday. Yes football culture is addictive. I love getting amongst it still. The casuals, the scarfers, the tifos, the chants, the away daysā¦ah yes. Enjoy mate.
This is my local team. Iām in there somewhere.
5 Likes
Thank you @PinkyP and @michaeljlogan74 I am feeling better today, the throwing up was probably my fault. I had stomach surgery in Dec. but Tim Hortons (Canadian coffee and donut chain) had a deal on Ice Capps (a blend of cream, coffee, sugar, and ice, like a cappuccino slush).
2 Large for 5 bucks. So I got one for my addict friend and 1 for me. Think it was too much for my stomach lol.
9 Likes
Day 41 of no self harm .
I really need to get back in the habit of checking in daily. Even if nothing major happens, it always helps to talk about my day no matter how mundane. I donāt get the chance to share my honest thoughts much so itās helpful.
Anyway, Iām gonna work on checking in daily. My grandpa is still pretty weak and heās having a really hard time sleeping. He still has his catheter (heās at an appointment now that will hopefully get it removed) so he needs help every now and again emptying it. Heās okay physically during the day but heās just really weak at the start and end of each day. Heās so weak heās having a hard time getting himself to eat and drink. I can see him slowly giving up. He keeps talking about how we should just put him in a home already. That has always been his worst fear but lately he doesnāt seem to care. Iām just praying he starts to get better soon.
Personally Iām just completely exhausted and overwhelmed. My family is a shit show. Someone needs to be with my grandpa 24/7. Thatās perfectly fine and shouldnāt be a problem considering he has 4 of his kids and 9 grandkids who are capable of helping.
Issue is, 4 grandkids and one of his sons are totally distant and donāt even know the situation. His other son is an alcoholic who refuses to help. He didnāt even call before or after his surgery. This son, his wife, and 2 grandkids literally live across the street and refuse to help. We had a sit down and asked them to help and they were offended and the situation almost ended up in a physical altercation between my grandpaās kids.
So about half of the family is essentially useless. It just puts so much pressure on the rest of the family. We love him to death but getting up all throughout the night is exhausting. And itās heartbreaking to see my grandpa like this. We try to take 2-3 day shifts but weāre all just completely drained. My aunt described it as āsoul crushing exhaustion and despair.ā
Sorry for the long post. For now Iām just trying to keep myself stable. I have to keep up with school somehow.
Update: grandpa just got the Cather removed
18 Likes
Day 11
Failed the test just barely, but resolved and regrouped and more closely working on the weak parts of my knowledge and planning.
Iām going to be honest this was kind of the end of a certain era of dysfunction for me and I am personally secretly relieved. This gives me a chance to regroup and Iām going to use very much more of my tools to reach in and succeed.
Being honest with myself and my support group about how I felt immediately when I found out I failed was very helpful for myself, as far as not dropping into a depression or mania and just remaining calm.
I want to succeed but I also have to remember I struggle with planning so I need to put extra work into that part of my life.
I absolutely do not feel like smoking marijuana or binging or anything honestly.
I just want to succeed and I want to prove to myself that I have the growth and the strength in me to pursue something.
I can pursue and reach greatness personally
I refuse to stay stoned and down ever AGAIN.
NO MORE drowning! I want to rise above!
Iām my way out, I can get it
Have a great day
22 Likes
Some passing thoughts of drinking but they dont compare at all to how angry i am i did this to my life.
Day 37
My only job is to be nice, reserve judgment, and put one foot in front of the other until i am 100 days sober.
Be a good employee just to show i am capable of it. I dont have higher ground to stand on. I like the person i am when i am calm.
Got bagels. Writers block. My sister coming to visit this week. Desperately sad.
22 Likes
Day 102.
Studying for 2 exams in the next 7 days. I also have an interview on Wednesday, my job, and the associated paperwork, lolā¦ and my kids, and my boyfriendā¦yeahā¦ I think thatās all thatās on my mind right now.
Went to a lecture this a.m. Didnāt want to go because of the massively triggering topic. I have a friend in the class that also will have trouble with the lecture. We practiced our 5,4,3,2,1 coping and she didnāt have anything to taste. So, I gave her half of my chocolate . She said it was really good 
We both made it through the lecture. Well, I had to bite my lip to make pain so I didnāt bust out in sobs, but, I made it.
I was also told I was a āgood personā for sharing my food. Wouldnāt most people share? I didnāt find it that special. She needed something I had, and I gave it to her.
I also got told that I was someoneās hero today for what Iām doing with my life right now. (not etoh related) This person has known me for a while, and she is amazing, so that (1) came outta left field, and (2) was really nice .
Never once thought of alcohol today.
Back to the books. < 3 to you all. I am so thankful for each of you and your kick-ass resolve.
22 Likes
Such a great feeling, right? Congratulations!
2 Likes
Congrats Drew
2 Likes
Sending you some of my reserves of love and support, and a scoop of weāre in this together.
I def understand where youāre coming from and hope youāre able to feel better soon, donāt be too hard on yourself if possible 
Youāre worth your own time and weāre gonna get there one step at a time my friend
5 Likes
Day 177
Back to the grind today.
Slow day at work. Pretty chill.
Have a great day yall. Take care.
19 Likes
Thanks so much for the good vibes!! I got really close but just missed the passing grade this time around; not gonna let that stop me though. Made a plan and gonna keep working and studying my weak points then retest in a few weeks!
6 Likes
Havenāt checked in for a long time.
Day 466
Life is good. These past 15/16 months have brought so many challenges and changes and blessings. Eternally grateful to be sober. Wherever you are on your journey it will always be the best decision you ever made 
26 Likes
Wooo!! Double digits!! Congrats 
2 Likes