Before I relapsed I also had missed these things, although missing them wasn’t my main reason to drink. But the relapse was quick, I felt this “getting slowly drunk” feeling for about five minutes and the drinks taste was rather bad. I was badly wasted within an hour or so, couldn’t walk, threw up a lot, it was none of what I had expected. It was a really bad experience and a total disappointment. I learnt, that it never will be the same, I not only cannot drink as a „normal” drinker, but I cannot even drink as I used to do, as an alcoholic. I can drink only as a relapsing alcoholic, which is a sped-up trip to the hell I used to be. Devouring those drinks just increased my thirst, this eternal hunger within me, as if I drank saltwater, it made me realize that there was no hope for lessen that void with anything external.
Day 4, she’s a rough one.
wow congratulations and enjoy…May you have a lot of fun and support each other🥳
Day 170
Have a great day everyone!
Sweet, glad you felt comfortable posting…welcome
Thank you!! I appreciate that!
Day 3
Living my Dream again! Focusing on building new and old things goes away by itself. This weekend flashbacks was not part of this dream and I am getting the picture as what is and what is not part of it - brighter and brighter.
Was eating junk food the whole day basically. Skipped workout, but feeling back on track.
I’d love to hear about the books you’re reading!
Beautiful and perfect description.
Hey guys. Checking in day 22.
I had an amazing day at the gym and now am going to bed.
Have a great day or a goodnight guys.
Peace.
@LabLover222 Congratulations!
@Jonachav123 Play the tape forward. If u genuinely want the taste, alcohol free would suffice. Would u want alcohol to ‘kick in’? What usually happens? In the past, have u really enjoyed ‘slow’ or are u romanticising?
D 647. Sober and clean. Content. Not much going on. Good stuff going on at work. Love the cats. Gonna see family tomorrow. Life is alright.
Jk jk proud and happy for you 
Day 172, I had ordered myself a new drone a couple days ago. The dji fpv it has goggles for flying it’s bad ass, I use to have a couple and loved them thought it would be nice to get some cool videos and pictures to paint and help spark my mood and creativity. I crashed it pretty good tho 
it’s definitely different then what I’m use to. Started my sister’s tattoo today, she loves it and switched up a few things when she got here asked me to make it look it was holding on with the skin this is what I did. Didn’t add much color just the little leafs to make them pop, but let it heal and then go in with are colors next session. It was fun visiting and I miss her love my sister
Checking in today. Day 22. I had a terrible day at work today. I’m so depressed and sad. My company is in bad shape and I’m afraid of losing my job and failing. These are major triggers for me. I cried on the way home in the car. I called my sponsor to say that I wasn’t going to the meeting tonight. He encouraged me to attend my AA home group. I decided that I will attend. I need support. I have no craving for alcohol. Just really upset and depressed. Tough day today.
Thank you for all the well wishes for my grandpa! He just got out of surgery and is doing good.
Glad to hear this 
All my support hope things improve with your company.
Hey everyone. Checking in on day 5 at night. Feeling urges but avoiding them. I feel so off because I have realized my depression and it’s effect on me. Being sober over these last month has has let me see myself in the worst way. I have an addictive complex within my depression and it had let me in bad places. I have come here for hope and love. I know you guys give me the way to survive. I love you guys. Help me now!