Ok so my days counter turned to day 105 at 11pm tonight…how did i honestly miss a day? I thought it said day 103 this morning. Either way im still excited to be sober!
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Good day today. Took the kids to a ranch that specializes in therapeutic and rehabilitative riding for special needs that was doing an egg hunt and games. Ran into the owner while there; we adopted one of their therapy horses they were retiring last summer. Somehow I got roped into volunteering to fix some of their equipment in a few weeks. I don’t mind, it’s for a good cause. Then tonight we had our traditional night before Easter meal…ice cream sundaes.
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Day 1260.
I’ll be meeting my brother and his family for a coffee in some hours. I am looking forward to it.
Paula was very nerving biting my feet so I shut them out of my room. If I want to make sure these cats come, I close the door behind me. 
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1044
Instant coffee. Slept long. Lets do another hike today. Sober and clean. Like I hope and expect from you all. Love from the Giant Mountains.
@FAE1 I feel it’s a good sign when you start forgetting the exact number of sober days. Make the days count, don’t count the days and all that
@Penguin Huge congrats T.! Great to see you, especially on a day like this. Huge milestone!
@Complicatedmama That seriously sucks Patty. So sorry. Glad with your doc. Hope you have some support. Get well very soon. Big hugs and lots of love.
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Oh geez sorry that happened!
I’m glad that you felt no judgement by the doctor and were able to be honest and clear. I wish you a speedy recovery.
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I hope you’re feeling better♥️
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Beautiful statements in your post @Its_me_Stella , thanks.
@SadMemeQueen good you’ll have someone with you. Thinking about you during this hard time.
@Complicatedmama ouch! That’s a huge contraption to help you heal. Hoping it will be quick and complete in a short time.
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Big family party yesterday, and my family is a winemaker one, alcohol was everywhere, everyone was drunk. I had ice tea, didn’t smoke, danced with my daughters, had fun, it was great. Have a nice day/night/morning/evening whatever it is in your time zone 
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Happy Easter everyone! Whether it is a special day in your religious calendar, or just a really good excuse to have chocolate for breakfast. I hope today is a special one for you.
I love the symbolism of Easter. Day 8 for me today, actually might be 9. It doesn’t really matter as won’t be drinking.
I am starting to feel better but still pretty tired and covidy. I am “lucky” in that I have chronic fatigue after getting a virus in 2013 so I am used to fatigue. The contrast isn’t too bad as I am used to it. It is driving my husband crazy though.
I have been reading but not with it enough yet to tag everyone. Thank you all for sharing.
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Thank you so much @Fargesia, @Rockstar24777, polar pal @icebear, @Sunny11 and @Kaeo! 
@RosaCanDo thank you Rosa, feeling very connected to you - I always keep an eye out for your posts, glad to be here in recovery with you!
@Dazercat thank you Eric and for all you do here at TS, love the gif!
@Misokatsu thanks Fleur, I loved what you said about celebrating by being another person, that resonates a lot!
@Lisa07 thank you so much for your support Lisa, especially during that trip last year! I thought I could “fix” myself by taking a long hiking trip and thinking everything through during that time … turns out that lead nowhere and I really needeed to learn to get out of my own head and to connect with others instead!
@Mno thank you, hope you have a great hike, so awesome you got to meet Tomek!
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At 9pm the guy I phoned yesterday, called me again.
A crapstory about his bank card not working and needing 60 euros for the train home. Quick calculation - train home about 6 euros, a gram of his DOC coke is 60…
Normally this would piss me off. Just don’t lie to me, how stupid do you think I am, those kinds of replies would have filled my head in a mix of anger.
I transferred him the money without any of those words instead. Withhout anger, just a sense of sadness. And a hope one day he’ll get back on track again.
To be honest, it hurted.
I don’t care about the money, but it hurts realising he is still in such a bad place that apparently he needs to lie to finance his using.
For some strange reason, I liked the guy from day one, just as I liked one of the ladies in my home group from day 1.
While I was in that early stage of thoughts about what would happen if I dropped my masks and would take down my defensive walls and allow others to see the fragile, scared and vulnerable me that I truly am, those two provided me the answer by showing it. Those two showed an honest vulnerability that make me understand it would be scary but wonderful.
And showed me that while it feels like giving others a sledgehammer and say “hit me”, no one picks up that hammer. Instead, they will support you.
So I started following their example and have been grateful for it.
And I can’t imagine what it must be like, falling back from that position into active addiction, having to lie and cheat again to finance your addiction.
Insights come, when you are ready for them I have been told.
I once asked one of the Buddhist teachers in my tradition, why we do not have a specific translation of the Boddhisattva vows (the vows made to promiss we will try to lift suffering from áll being instead of only ourselves).
He smiled and answered that by the time I would be ready to make those vows, I would know why.
Today I know.
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Oh Patty! I’m sorry about your leg. I hope you’re getting the help you need with kiddos. Good on you for staying firm with pain meds. My thoughts and prayers are with you 
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Checking in ~ Day 34
Happy Easter for those who celebrate this season. Going to be pretty laidback. Took the pup out for a long walk this morning. Need to buy him more food. I’m consciously trying to NOT talk about work or even think about work when I’m off. I’m making slow progress. Today, I’ll do a special devotion for Easter and extra prayer time. Pretty quiet in the house as everyone is still sleeping.
Thinking about @Bluekoolaid @KtRN @anon9289869 @ShesGotMoxie @Butterflymoonwoman @Alycia @Dazercat @Twizzlers @Charlie_C @Its_me_Stella and those I can’t list. I’m so grateful that you all have accepted me into this family. I don’t know where I would be without you.
On the turntable ~
Bobbie Gentry 1969
Reissue UMG Records 2021
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Hey all, checking in on day 672. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Day 614
Some nice resentments going on, so going to inventory the fuck out of them in my 10th step email tonight. Noisy (the cat) is keeping me company as everyone else is in bed.
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Good morning everyone! Checking in on day 240. Have some Easter plans with family today. Then maybe a little walk. And back home to the pups. Hope everyone has a safe day and take care!
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I’m free. Love my freedom and wouldn’t trade it for anything. Took me 20 years to get to 5 consecutive months. I am a non user and thankful for this forum every single day. Sober 22. Not looking back, only forward. Being PMO free has been a War for most of my life. Now I help others break free. Have a great day!
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Day 674 clean and sober today. It’s my Friday yay! Have a great day everyone, love you guys! 
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Happy Easter 
my TS peeps!!! 
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So glad to hear it!!! Those are difficult situations and it must feel sooooo good to have had an iced tea and dance with your daughter’s♥️ congratulations!!!
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