So glad to hear that your dad is doing better! Also happy to hear that things seem a bit more manageable today. Sounds like a lovely spot you had in the Sun, 
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Congratulations! Wonderful news. 
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Roc on Cate!!!
Nice job
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Great news @anon74766472 and what a fabulous accomplishment! It feels good to be wanted and needed. Well done ~
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Great day today! I had a productive day speaking with 3 recruiters and a former colleague. I also had a video interview for that job in Georgia. The COO was really authentic and she was easy to speak with. I will have a follow up in a couple of weeks. In my field it takes months to go through the hiring process!
I have another video interview tomorrow and made it to the second round for a job back home in California. I really don’t want to go back home because it’s so expensive $!
Tomorrow, I find out about my job separation. I’m nervous because I know the attorney who the company uses for such employment matters and he is a hard ass.
Nonetheless, I’m moving forward. I’m pretty happy today and I did have thoughts of drinking (to celebrate a productive day), but I didn’t give in. I just drank a ton of sparkling water 
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Nice to see you Kyle, and thank you!
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Mostly good day. Got part of my rent paid (yay!) couldn’t pay it in full because the ATM only lets you take out so much in one day. But as usual, my mood took another unexpected downturn, and even ice cream didn’t fix it. 
Tomorrow I have two appointments. The first is with my job counselor. The second is an EKG to check on my heart murmur. So I have to set my alarm clock.
And I actually have to get up…
Pray for me.
Finally, I came across something awesome on YouTube last night: quotes from the Stoics. It goes like this:
From this moment on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do - now.
Have a great sober evening! 
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Way to go!!! Yay 
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Day 51 of no self harm
My grandpa is doing really good. Even sounds better on the phone. Probably the last update I’ll give on my grandpa unless anything changes. I’m so glad he’s doing good.
I’m doing okay I guess. I tried to finish my math class but the teacher said I was working too far ahead and blocked my progress 
. We have three weeks to do our final chapter and our final exam. I was trying to do it asap. She’s refusing to unlock them until the week they’re due. So stupid. She let me do all the homework for the final chapter but won’t let me do the test. So all that info is gonna be gone by then.
I go see a new doctor tomorrow. I’m hoping he’s good. Something I don’t talk about on here is the fact that I’m nonbinary. I say nonbinary but I think I’m closer to trans. This doctor is trans so I’m really hoping I can talk to him about things. Problem is I’m gonna be homeless if my mom ever finds out while I’m living with her. And she NEVER let’s me go into appointments alone. So I don’t know how I’m going to get to talk to the doctor. I’d have to go in alone. I’m just hoping it goes well and I can finally get this stuff off my chest that I’ve had to hide for so long.
Something positive: I managed to take a shower today. It was a struggle but I finally got it done.
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1452
As my vacation in Cabo ends tomorrow, this picture describes how I could have dealt with the past few days. On Monday I got a sinus infection and for those who have had one before knows how miserable you feel when you have one. On Tuesday while sitting poolside, an umbrella flew from across the pool at hit my wife in the head. Thankfully she only received superficial wounds, nothing serious. We could have taken these two situations negatively and have them ruin our vacation but we chose to take things in stride and enjoy the rest of our vacation.
If I hadn’t been clean, I doubt I would have reacted that way. I was a mean spirited person who was angry at the world and was always looking for a reason to go home. But clean, I was able to not only push through it with the help of the local doctor prescribing some antibiotics, but be there to support my wife who was wanting to go home and convince her a kinda crappy day at a Cabo San Lucas all inclusive resort is better than being home.
NEVER CRAVE ALONE
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Hey I’m glad ur grandpa is doing better! That must be a relief. I’m excited for u and ur new Dr! I’m just wondering… and I know ur new to this Dr so this appt tmrw ull obviously have to go in person… but my dr allows phone call appts. And I’m wondering if maybe after tmrw, u could call them and say u want to do a phone in appt. And then u can talk to just the Dr urself in a “safe” space on ur own terms, where u won’t have ur mom listening in. Honestly, what ur going thru inside must be hard, since ur mom would not approve of u being non-binary or trans. I actually have a lot of trans friends and they have expressed how difficult life has been for them in a variety of ways. So even tho I can’t personally relate, I have heard alot of experiences from other woman who have really been thru alot, like urself. I’m so blessed and honored that u were able to open up about this on here ur a beautiful person! And hopefully ur appt goes well. Maybe they can do a phone call in the future so that u can open up to ur new Dr also. Quite frankly, they would probably understand well being trans themselves.
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That’s an awesome idea! I’ll definitely check if phone appointments are an option. You have no idea how much better that makes me feel. I was so worried about tomorrow. If I can I’ll go for a walk during the phone appointment so there’s no risk of my parents hearing me. Thank you so much.
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Ur absolutely welcome! U deserve to get the support u need to make urself feel good and to feel heard and to get the resources that can help u with whatever ur struggling with. They seemed to start doing phone call appts due to covid. I recently had a dr appt on the phone 2 days ago lol so I’m sure they would be doing that in ur area too. If not, u can ask and if they are hesitant, explain why (if u can). Maybe they can make an exception. They are Dr’s and that’s their job is to help people.
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Hugs my friend!!! Hoping only the best for u tmrw at ur appt!
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Day 109. A lot better day today! Have a wonderful night everyone!
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171 !!!
Continuing to take this thing one day at a time. Really trying to stick to basics and focusing on my mental and physical health. Been craving alcohol the last couple days and sometimes romanticizing going to the gas station and literally Telling myself in my head that I can drink an 18 pack and get it out of my system and tomorrow I will be fine!!! That’s hilarious. And also scary!! But I try to not let those thoughts Linger around and I quickly play the tape or call someone … if I drank tonight I would be back on that vodka in a matter of days and Ruining everything. It’s just dealing with life sober and learning how to Properly Live for the first time . Also recently helped a friend through the Detox process and I have been very worried about her to a point I will admit it is effecting me . It’s weird being on the other side and I try to Spread the positive of recovery and How bad times come and go … but then after helping someone else I’m so quick to think of drinking as a solution to my sadness tonight ? That is the madness!! It’s everything… money worries, mental health decline , daily life … But I am continuing to communicate and work on my short-term goals more than anything. I don’t want to ever go through a liquor withdrawal ever again… If I do anything I will be back to that and in a hospital . I am glad that I am writing this because I was going to keep not posting like I have been the last couple days. At 7:30 at night I’m going to restart my day and try to find some gratitude… thanks to everyone For their contributions and help
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God luck to you with your coming and already done interviews!
I’ve hard, that alcoholics have an enormous willpower. I think that maybe means, that you are a “hard ass”, too. 
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I’ve you like the stoic concept, then I think that you would like the following link:
It has also aspects of the serenity prayer.
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Day XXX
Interesting day,
So my work partnered with a personal finance company and we got a free seminar on personal finance and honestly half of it was a sales pitch for their products and financial coaching but what I took away from it was priceless.
Almost all of it applies more to life especially recovering addicts and I want to share it here
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He mentioned all those articles that say, at this age you should have this much money and this much here there and everywhere. And how much he hates them, cause it’s cookie cutter nonsense, all our life experiences are different what I experienced is different from what others experienced,
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Accept the past mistakes, you don’t live there anymore, look at ways to overcome the ways of your past errors and treat them as learning experiences only then will you grow.
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Don’t compare yourself to your friends on social media, this is a great one, cause we all do this, we see those friends sharing pictures in Milan and be like oh wish I could do that and get ourselves in a rut doing it, No one posts on social media the downsides of it, yeah they are in Milan but they’ll be paying off that trip for the next 20 years.
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Goes back to one, cookie cutter patterns, I see this alot in recovery and working with sponsors and the such when people say it takes a year to do the steps, or no new relationships until this time etc. not everyone heals the same, not everyone progresses the same, what took you a week might take me a year, and etc,
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