Checking in
Day 96
Work is done. Loooong day today but its over now and I’m grateful for that. Just really lacked the motivation to be there today. Nothing much new in my life tho. Slowly, day by day, inching towards the triple digits. I just feel that out of every milestone so far, this is the one that will really get to me emotionally. 100 days is a personal milestone for me. I think bcuz since I joined TS about 2 years ago (while I was trying to get some clean time under my belt), I would see everyone’s triple digit numbers and thought to myself, “How is that possible?!”… it was such a dream for me. I literally didn’t know how people got long amounts of clean time! I would pray and hope for it constantly and then feel defeated when Id relapse. It was inspiring to see others clean times for sure!! I remember checking in here and not putting a clean day in my post bcuz I was soo embarrassed about being a chronic relapser. But at the same time knew I had to check in and stay connected somehow. Some people on here caught on to that and they would message or ask me if I was okay and if I had slipped again. The times when I wouldn’t add a clean day meant I used the night before. I am grateful for where I am. Do I miss using?? Honestly… sometimes I do. Sometimes I even miss the ritual of using (the process of doing it). But what I miss isn’t the drugs. I miss the “escape” from life. The trick to recovery for me today is creating a life that I don’t need an escape from. The drugs themselves I dont miss. My mind tells me that I do, but it’s a lie. I just miss being content and happy and excited about life! And drugs don’t give me that. They havent for 22 years and that wont change. I get what I have always been wanting by being clean. I say that to myself often 
Day 112
Days are just flying by at this point, I do think about alcohol everyday but I don’t even really consider actually drinking. I didn’t realize how much better it is than it used to be.
That said, I’ve to be honest. I still think about how awesome I’d feel short term, and missing it a lot (probably my sick mind talking). Even though it only hurt me in the long run. I’ll have to keep faith I can also feel awesome without alcohol. ODAAT.
Good night wonderful people 
Absolutely 
Our minds will lie to us all the time and try to justify and give us excuses to use or drink. Things are good today BECAUSE we are clean and sober! History has shown me that things go to shit real quick when I pick up one of anything. It’s all downhill from there 
proud of you! Ur doing so well! Keep at it my friend
2nd time checking in today, having a rough day. Per my previous post, I had a nasty fall early this morning and the pain is getting worse in my neck and back. This is a main trigger for me since I also have RA and a lot of inflammation, chronic pain is a problem and part of the reason I talked myself to drinking on Wednesday, and throwing away 22 days. The drinking may have masked it some, but not worth it. I’m trying to get my mind on other things, but I’m anxious, thought it would be a good idea to write this here. 
Hello,
I hope everyone is having a stellar Saturday! We had snow here overnite and I used that as an excuse to be mostly lazy today. However I did go out and get a haircut and stop at rei for the current sale going on. Stocking up on some new summer outdoor gear!
It’s been awhile since I have posted anything here but then again, I never have posted much in the past anyway. I’m always impressed by those of you that share your lives, thoughts, and feelings so freely here. I have a hard time opening up that way.
Anyway, thing’s are going good at the moment and right now it is smooth sailing. Who is it that said Life is what happens when you are making plans for the future? I think that means it’s best to try and live in the moment!
Here is a pic from this morning out my window
Bye for now…
Ugh. Sounds like a pretty rough day Maxie. I’m so sorry. Falling is bad. I try not to do that. But it happens. It really pisses me off when I fall. It happens too often. Less often now that I quit drinking. And I’m not talking about drunk falling. Just one of the benefits of being sober I guess. I mean I’m more calm and relaxed and not so hurried to always have to get EVERYTHING done right now! I’m sorry you’re feeling anxious. Some of us use that gratitude thread multiple times a day when the anxiety comes on. I’ve read the brain can’t handle both the anxiety or anxious thoughts and gratitude at the same time. It’s great that you came back on here and let your feeling out again. It’s always helped me.
There’s another good thread Brian started. Not sure if you’ve seen it before. H.ungry A.ngry L.onely T.ired it might not cure the anxious thoughts right away. But there’s some great recovery tools in it.
One Day
Or
Day One
You get to decide.
Awe Maxine!! I’m hoping ur pain eases. Hugs my friend 
Thanks it was above 80f Thursday then that happened. I love how that works. 
Thanks Eric, I will check that out. I felt so stupid falling over something that I moved there. It’s like slow motion, I’m going down, just pray I don’t hit my head (didn’t). As I was on the floor making sure nothing was probably broke, my 2nd thought was, why do I still have ceramic tile, need 1970s shag carpeting with 6" padding. I will go back to the gratitude topic later today as well. Right now, Max is grateful that he will be eating soon, that’s what he is trying to tell me anyway, lol. Enjoy your evening!
Holy moly!!! I had heard there was snow but that’s incredible. It’s the middle of May 
Checking in on day 344. Made some buffalo cauliflower “wings”. They were okay. I can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained this past winter. I haven’t been super active, and I have eaten tons of sweets 
Time to start a regular exercise program I guess sigh
Have a beautiful weekend friends!
Day 217 AF
Day 22? Caffeine free
I think my heartburn is finally gone for good. Just gotta becareful with the junk food. I’m afraid to go back to coffee. I’ll wait til I hit a month, and then I’ll drink a cup a day. Can’t over do it this time.
Came to my visit my mother-in-law for her bday.
Proud of everyone here. Yall take care. We’re in this together.
Day 2 sober and very tired
Hi Drew, Cauliflower wings? That doesn’t sound like it would work, cauliflower seems to be the Kale of the past. I also need to come up with an exercise routine, swapping out sweets for booze seems to be equal at the moment 
Yeah, they were not terrible. I might try a different recipe next time. I know what you mean about swapping sweets for booze!
Evening Check In
Day 96
Feeling tired and irritable but grateful. I really appreciate you all! Every single one of you! I know I don’t always express my gratitude and I know I don’t always respond to everyone’s posts and what not… but man, I love you guys. I love how I can relate and get sooo much inspiration and tips and advice from u all. I get inspiration too from those who are new or returning. I learn from everyone! I just really feel SO blessed to be here It really empowers me. Living where I do away from all my supports and family back home, I honestly probably wouldn’t be as clean and sober as I am today without you all. I feel such a connection to so many of you! I never feel alone with u all! If I didnt have TS, I know I would’ve felt like I was on this path by myself.
Hugs!
First sober Saturday in AGES 
I could swear day 3 has more than 24 h in it
In couple of hours i start day 4 . Day 3 has been an adventure.
Sometimes i feel like there is nothing to do but smile .
Oh i know exactly what you mean… Day 3 here Freaking hard