You are so right!!!
And it takes so long to figure it out!
I am still a work in progress as I do let that fear come out more often than it should when I know our bodies should be cared and loved
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Love this!! I wake up fresh-faced and game ready now instead of bloated and tired with poisoned brain cells. Pep talk your way through the entire trip! You got this, sober is clever, funny, and sexy too.
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Congrats on day 80! Day 127 and Iāve had similar thoughts. Iām with you, itās alarming. Especially for someone who has built their entire life around drinking for over 20 years. If I didnāt keep my days counted Iād be more likely to slip up, one day at a time is real AF for me.
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Thanks Dana. Your 80 days are really inspiring too. Love your input on this forum 
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Day 35
Did my meditation, first successful day back to food tracking w/o the anxiety of ED (& yay bc this helps me so much), followed up and replied to a lot of texts, and finally wrote up a comprehensive rates list for the fitness/personal trainer business Iāve been trying to make a real thing.
Going to journal and do strength training &/or yoga-ish stuff tonight
Building positive helpful routines is the theme of the times for me right now.
Real work, practice, and patience. Plus a full-time job with mindfulness.
Itās raining here where i live in Alaska and Iām loving it
Take care of yourselves everyone
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DAY 592 - Started the process of making my amends to an old friend of mine from my youth who I held a resentment against for over 20 years and didnāt have any contact with only to find out he had been given 6 weeks to live and died of cancer. He overcame his herion addiction and came back from the dark depths of nothingness that addiction brings, he got married and got back his job as a welder.
Mark my dear friend I love you like a brother and wish I could talk to you one more time.
Donāt carry grudges against people especially over material objects, life is too short not to get along with each other.
R. I. P. Mark I truly am sorry for being such an arse hole and being too selfish to realise your addiction made you do the things you did and I regret pushing you away when you got clean and reached out to me.
See you on the other side brother.
Today Iāll be sober for you.
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Checking in at the start of day 4. I feel a little better today then I did yesterday, but the day is just starting for me so we will seeā¦ working overnight tonight. Will catch up on some sober lit during down time to keep it in the front of my mind and hit a meeting before work. ODAATš»
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Moving share. Staying sober is the best amends u can do 
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Youāre share just now was incredibly powerful. This must been alot emotionally for you. I hope ur okay.
Often times I donāt think about what that person (who I am holidng the grudge against) is going thru. People donāt just act a certain way and hurt others for no apparent reason most times, and I forget that and take what is happening in the moment at face value or I take it personally. Thank you for your shareā¦ it made me think also about grudges and resentments I am currently holding
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Tonight will be day 65 of no self harm
Ok so I just finished up my job interview and I actually think it went really really well. The interviewer seemed impressed by my answers to her questions. Iām really hoping Iāll hear if I get the job soon, itās making me anxious not knowing.
Honestly, if I donāt get this job I donāt know what Iām gonna do. Probably not good things. This place is always hiring and if they wonāt take me, I donāt think anyone will. Other than the other interview I had, no one ever gets back to me and Iāve been applying for jobs since October. I just need this job.
Too anxious to do math. Iāll do that tomorrow. I also need to clean my room tomorrow because I have a new desk I need to put in my room.
Iām feeling really really anxious but thatās just because of the job. Iām trying to keep busy.
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Oooh the colors on that are gorgeous Dana. Right up my ally with the blues and purples. I never in my life would have ever thought of buying a dream catcher. But that one, could easily change my mind.
And
80 freakin days clean 
You go girl!!!
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Look at you go with 4 months
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Hey Menno your pic inspired a quick poem.
For how long they stood there?
Their bond is stone
Worn old by the ages
But still so strong
Unbroken by time
The wind their voices
Which only they know the meaning
The time spent together
Facing one another
Never growing tired of what they see
Bye for nowā¦
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Fantastic on 60 days!! We have the same soberversary. I am 1 yr, 2 months today. Iām glad you are here.
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Thanks Eric. You are an inspiration.
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4 years sober AFAF 
Might do a separate milestone post later but while Iām up (thanks Maggie! 
) thought Iād do a little check in as it was exciting seeing that notification and wanted to share it. But now back to bed 
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Awe that is such a compliment!!! Thank u so much Eric!
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Day 201
Day 6 no caffeine
Chill day working from the office. A lot folks said I looked slim. Feelin tired tho, I couldnāt really sleep last and it was a long drive back home. Took the lil man straight to the playground to give the wife a breather. The lil dude is a beast.
Gonna try to crash out early. Yall have a great night!
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I have the same thoughtsā¦how can I go for the rest of my life soberā¦terrifies me more than being worried about drinking.
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Thatās why itās one day at a time Kelly. Forever is just too big a concept to grasp for us humans. Overwhelming and terrifying indeed.
Today I will not use. Tomorrow I think I wonāt either, but Iāll see about that when tomorrow comes. Weāre living today and today we will stay sober and clean.
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