Good job, congrats !
I thought nakedness is a problem in the US. 
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@Pat_m wow, good for you! Thatās one challenge I will have to face at some point (holidays with people who drink a lot). I will thinknof you managing it when the time comes for inspiration!
@Butterflymoonwoman yeah- this was a nice reminder for watch the wriggly worm of addiction trying to get back in, thank you! Mine has been playing away in the background today like adverts on a radio you arenāt really listening to ā¦but the jingles kind of seep in!!!
Day 11 for me and feeling good. Bought myself some lemons to make lemonade tonight which Iām telling myself is just as tasty as wine 
Wellā¦it might not be quite as tasty but it wonāt ruin my entire life!!!
Have a good day all
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Haha not just in the US I think. Such a day really can not have been imagined by a normal person, right. it looks more like this is someoneās bizarre fantasy 
Heading into day 6. Still not feeling good, but my youngest caught it as well and has been puking all night. Just grateful even tho Iām sick to be sober and able to be there for my baby. Looking forward to us all feeling better much love everyone have a good day
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Day 228 checking in went to a meeting today now relaxing with my daughter the simple things in life are what matter 
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I would love to participate in naked gardening dayā¦ however I donāt think my step son would approve 
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Haha I donāt think my 15 year old son would be happy to if I joined whit it
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Day 55. One of those days you just try to survive. Tomorrow will come.
See you!
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Checking in
Day 82
1pm and Iām finally getting time to eat and drink something. I really need to figure out how to manage things when I am at work with this particular client. Same client as last week, but this time she wasnāt in a good mood AT ALL! She attacked me twice. Once grabbing my head (trying to get ahold of my hair and thankfully I was wearing a hat so I got out of that unscathed). The 2nd time running at me and grabbing my arms and digging her nails in and screaming in my face. I feel stuck honestly at this job. Not every day is like this but u always have to be on ur toes and be so hypervigilant. She is so unpredictable and only shows when she about to attack u like 1 second before she does. So Iām tired. I feel like Iām better at my job bcuz Iām clean and sober but my nerves also get shook up a lot easier bcuz Iām clean and sober. I want out honestly. But working here provides alot of flexibility for me and the pay is good also which helps bcuz I canāt work a full time job. So idk. But this job is becoming more and more not suited for me the longer I stay here and the longer I stay clean and sober. I need something thatās not so intense. Like doing floral arrangements or personal training (which is a dream of mine). I need to find my true purpose and Iām hoping what Iām doing now isnāt it (I know that sounds mean but Iām not made out for this). Iām tired of the name calling and physical aggression 
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People, places, and things arenāt upsetting you, your thoughts about those things are.
This I needed to read today. Thought Iād share
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A tense evening! You are Liverpool arenāt you? Iām Spurs 
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Day 67 of no self harm. To give you something positive, I was at the dollar store and had several chances to buy things to harm myself with, but I resisted.
Now for a rant about my family because I feel like Iām going to explode (my grandpa is not included in this rant. Heās great, I am referring to everyone but him)
I am so goddamn sick of being the problem child. I donāt know wtf I do that makes me the bad guy. I get screamed at for literally the way I say goodbye. I get screamed at whenever I say goodbye the way my mom wants. I am kinda terrified of being angry because I associate it with my dad but I swear man. Being around these people is just fucking infuriating. Everything anyone says or does, just them breathing is making me increasingly more angry. And I donāt know how to deal with anger other than to self destruct. I love these people to death but I mean nothing to them. I mean nothing to anyone in this house. Yet I donāt have a choice but to be with them every single Saturday and every single holiday. Things at home get so much worse when I donāt go because then my mom channels all of my family guilt tripping to me. They say I should be there and itās family and itās bonding, but when Iām there Iām nothing but a target.
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YOU arent the problemā¦ and YOU are not the problem child. THEY have the problem. Only people who are not well hurt others like this. Im not trying to be mean. Please dont take it as that. I remember being with my abusive ex who treated me awfully. I began to think it was me that was the problem. Whats wrong with me? Why doesnt he love me? Why does he do this to me? I felt like I was the issue, but that wasnt trueā¦ but being around it for so long changed my thinking and I took what he said and did to me to heart. Yesā¦ it absolutely hurts to be yelled at and criticized constantly. To being subjected to feeling unloved or not wanted or respected. Or physically abused. But they are the ones doing this to YOU. From what I have read and from just getting to know you over TS, I truly donāt see anything wrong with you. I canāt wait for u to get working at that new job and saving up some money to move out. I just know u will see such a difference on ur outlook on life
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Iām in therapy, she helps me see how toxic my family genuinely is. As Iāve gotten older Iāve realized that this isnāt just normal family things. Thins arenāt supposed to be like this. Iāve only realized that in the last few years though and I think thatās making me angry. I normalized it so much I never felt any particular way about how I was being treated
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Thank you. I didnāt take it as mean. I know exactly what you meanā¤ļø
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You donāt have to say anything else I appreciate anything you have to say
Iād have moved out a long time ago but I donāt have anyone positive in my life that even lives in the same state. Ohio is the closest, Iām in Colorado. So for now Iām on my own
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Aaaah, what a lovely attitude to have 
Great game, canāt say I enjoyed it but glad I watched.
Watching Spurs women tomorrow, saw your women got promoted. Congratulations 
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Oh this is so sad to read. Every Saturday I get more frustrated with your family. They have made you the scapegoat and is completely on them. You have done nothing wrong and you canāt win. I am so sorry you have to live with this. I am glad your therapist is helping to show you it isnāt you. Congratulations on the new job. You have your whole life ahead of you and this will just be a small chapter.
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Every Saturday has been worse lately. Thank you for your support, it means a lot 
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