Rounding off day 22 on this fine mother’s day. Happy mothers day to all the mama’s in here!!!
I see a lot of yall struggling today, and I’m sending out healing vibes. You’re all here checking in, and that counts for something! Addiction is the disease, and sobriety is the medicine to cure, use it to heal yourselves you are worth it!!
Had family over today which was nice. We don’t host often and it was kinda cool to do it sober! I worked my butt off all weekend to fix up my backyard and get other things done to make my space feel amazing, and inviting for the fam to come hang out by the pool and BBQ up some yummy food . My boyfriend (the bartender) did whip up a couple drinks for his mom and sister, the guys were drinking beers, and I was good with my liquid deaths lol (seltzer water). Right now, there is an open bottle of prosecco in the fridge, that I bought bc he needed it for the drinks he wanted to make. No big deal, i can be around booze without issue, being near it isnt what my trigger is. But It’s on my mind in the way that I know its there, and it’s open, and it’s wasteful bc I know he’s not going to drink it… im not tempted to drink it. I’m more… sad that it will eventually get poured out. If that makes sense?
On another note… I have a question for ladies lol.
So I go and get my cookie waxed every 6 weeks… back to factory settings if u know what I mean… anywho, I went the other day and normally there is a certain level of pain that you would expect… but this time the pain was like 20% of what it normally is… and the only difference between my last wax and this one is the not drinking… has anyone else experienced feeling a difference like this? Or am I just losing my mindbrain 😵💫😵💫😵💫 lol
Thinking about what to share with my sponsor when I’m back home, about steps 1-3.
We decided to combine those, for after 1005 days my acceptance and conmitment have been proven.
Nevertheless, still a matter of digging into the nature of them…
Hey guys checking in before bed. Will wake up with 13 days tomorrow. Did all the little things for my wife today, felt good. Have 4 days off in a row now, and I’m going to be productive and continue to improve myself. Have an awesome week everyone, keep it simple stupid!
If you keep relapsing you will ruin more than Mother’s day, you will ruin lots of days, special and ordinary. Going to rehab is a big step, and a big admission. I understand not wanting to do it. My husband and my dr, after doing by myself didn’t work, after the hospital ‘counselling’ ( 30mins once every two weeks) didn’t work, after medicine didn’t work, began to murmur about what was essentially rehab. I was dead against it, I had work, I couldn’t leave the kids, so I decided to throw myself into AA, which I was also against, but not dead against. It worked, but I hope if it had not, I would have bit the bullet and gone to rehab. If you don’t want to go to rehab then use that determination to put everything into something else, AA, Smart, Recovery Dharma, whatever.
No more beating yourself up. Take a breath and decide which of the suggestions from people on here you are going to do. Then calmly take a small step towards doing it. Don’t get into a battle with your mind you won’t win against alcohol, its not possible to.
If you choose rehab it might be the 10 days that allows you to finally be free of all this suffering. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing? Wouldn’t that be worth it? It’s 10 days not 10 weeks! If that’s what you need that’s what you need. If you had a broken leg you wouldn’t keep running on it for 10 days. You should do whatever will give you the best chance. You feel hopeless because of alcohol but actually there is a lot of hope for you if you and you don’t have to do it all just now. Just take calm action today towards sobriety. We are all willing you on and support you
It took a while to get to sleep last night but once I dropped off it was a reasonable sleep. My son was very tired this morning and said it had taken him a while to get to sleep too. This upset at school is playing on both our minds. He did go in to school this morning however, and I’m proud of him for that. I’m keeping myself available in case the guidance teachers need to speak to me, or indeed my son needs my support. No news so far, and this is definitely a “ no news is good news” situation.
I’m feeling quite strong in my sobriety after the weekend. I can see that, despite having a difficult situation to deal with I am still feeling relatively calm and accepting and not too worn out. I can see the brightness in my eyes which was dulled when I was drinking every day.
Wishing everyone a productive and sober Monday.
Edited to add that my son has just come home halfway through the school day feeling stressed.
Day 57. Trying to survive the worst digestive symptoms I had in 10 years of IBD diagnosis. It is hard to understand why, because I did not drink alcohol for almost two months and I am eating right. Maybe it is mind issue. Anyway, trying to stay positive and stablishing other priorities in life like doing things I wanted to do in a long time. Learning french for example.
Checking in at day 251.
My health and my throat are feeling a bit better, I kind of have my voice back. It seems that this variant of the flu is prevalent. I can’t remember the last time I was sick apart from Covid a month ago. Strange that in addition to emotions and physical pain, drugs can probably also suppress the flu.
I just took this picture during a walk with clients here on the property among the animals. After work I will seriously start with the assignment that my sponsor has given me. Recovery is in so many small things that are still invisible to me and I want to make them all visible. So let’s go🤞
Lordy, need some strength to deal with my son. I know he is struggling at school and I want to help him, but he doesn’t seem to want to help himself. Instead of just getting his head down and doing the homework that is left over from when he left it at school, which would have taken 30 - 45 minutes maybe, and then he could watch YT or play guitar he cried and wailed and had a fit, and it took double that. He is thirteen, old enough to be able to comprehend that if he just finishes it he can do something that he enjoys. And of course my daughter starts again with the why are you always paying attention to him. It was so hard not to say harsh things, my patience really was tried to the limit.
you are worth it!!
. My boyfriend (the bartender) did whip up a couple drinks for his mom and sister, the guys were drinking beers, and I was good with my liquid deaths lol (seltzer water). Right now, there is an open bottle of prosecco in the fridge, that I bought bc he needed it for the drinks he wanted to make. No big deal, i can be around booze without issue, being near it isnt what my trigger is. But It’s on my mind in the way that I know its there, and it’s open, and it’s wasteful bc I know he’s not going to drink it… im not tempted to drink it. I’m more… sad that it will eventually get poured out. If that makes sense?
