As someone with a high intensity adhd 10yo who just started meds in December I absolutely feel you on the triggering thing. And I * finally * got some answers to why I’m triggered by it, because I myself have bipolar and adhd as well so we can just feed off of each other’s wildness essentially.
Finding structure and routines that specifically work for our particular neurodivergent squad was everything (also have an autistic 5yo so we’re all over lol).
I hope things level out for you guys and hope that her mom gets that figured out because I can’t imagine the withdrawals, she’s gotta be feeling frustrated. Honestly, even as a parent it’s hard as heck sometimes to regulate our own reactions as well.
You’re definitely strong to stick it out with that and I know one day she’ll definitely appreciate that.
Keep doing what you can and I’m sending solidarity on this side! Also props for sticking with the biking!
Day 16 for me. My therapist said I need to tell my new partner that I have an alcohol problem. I think he will dump me if I do (I’m pretty sure he will- he told me he had an alcoholic father who treated him terribly and that he could never be with someone in recoery) So far I’ve kept it secret as we have a long distance relationship and more recently ive been able to go a week or so without drinking. My therapist thinks im being unethical and that i cant keep it secret anyway. Was wondering what you guys think? I think I’m on day 16 and intend to stay sober so does he really need to know? But then…it feels like a terrible secret I’m keeping from him.
This week my mind has been drifting into that addict space of imagining using. It is a little unsettling. I remain confident in my sobriety and I am coming here to share and get it out and find myself - and I feel good about this sharing, it is helpful - but still the fact that addict space, the addict voice, is here, is unsettling. It’s like looking into the face of some type of demon. It’s there and you know you can’t run from it and you have to maintain your self-care so you can face it with wisdom and confidence, and keep it in its place - but still it is a disturbing thing.
My emotional space this week has been turbulent as I am navigating my transition into my new entrepreneurial project. Starting this company is the most emotionally intense experience of my professional life so far. There is so much to manage, and so many things to take care of, and the list goes on and on. I’m confident it’s a good choice and the project is starting at the right time and in the right place - but still it is hard; there is so much emotion as I plan to leave my current clients, and wrap up loose ends, and prepare for the conversation with my boss, where I cut ties.
Lots of emotion happening now. That’s the main reason for this mental addict stuff popping up this week. I feel better though that I understand it now, in a way I didn’t before.
I am grateful for Talking Sober. 24 hours a day, there is a space here I can share. I don’t feel alone. That is huge. Thanks guys 
ADHD too here, I had it in school as well though it wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. I don’t have kids (yet) but I will not be surprised if they have something like it, because my dad certainly does; I am sure I got it from him. It has a huge impact on life - relationships, work, finances - from childhood all through life to retirement.
@anon53116147 Mike sorry to hear about the situation with Autumn. I have tutored students with ADHD (about the same age as your girls, maybe a bit older) and I know the balancing act it can be.
Physical activity is good. The biking is a great idea! In general, ADHD people (children and adults) love moving around, exploring, adventuring, physical movement. It’s in our nature. (I also would bet it’s part of why you like bikes - manual and motor - and also why you like to explore.)
School is hard for people with ADHD. It just is, I think. School is generally a place where spontaneity - being spontaneous, impulsive - is not a key thing. School is primarily about following other people’s plans of what to do and where to go, and when you’re a person who is an explorer by nature, a spontaneous one by nature, school is a challenge. (At least - that was my experience.)
I don’t know if that helps at all - it’s not like I have a magic solution 
- but at least, I think that’s probably part of the reason she’s not a huge fan of school right now.
One of the things ADHD medications do - specifically, stimulant medications (a common type), but this is done in different ways by non-stimulant ADHD meds too - is they help provide a transmitters to get the brain coordinated for work in a school setting (and this is true as an adult too - it helps me at my work).
ADHD is caused primarily by not having enough transmitters in the brain. Specifically, these transmitters are norepinephrine and dopamine. (Incidentally, this shortage of dopamine is why there are so many addicts who have ADHD. One thing all addictions do, is stimulate dopamine production. So people with ADHD often self-medicate with their addiction.)
Because there’s not enough transmitters, the brain can’t send signals between different parts of the brain. Someone might be brilliant at math or art, but that needs to be coordinated with remembering to eat lunch, and tidy up your room, and get home in time, and ___ and ___ - and to coordinate all this stuff, we need transmitters coordinating things in our brains.
A brain without transmitters is like a motorcycle without a chain. It doesn’t matter how strong the engine is. Without a chain to transmit that power to the wheels, you’re not going anywhere.
Most ADHD medications work by helping to fill in this gap: they stimulate the production of norepinephrine (adrenaline - stimulant), and that also stimulates dopamine, both of which are transmitters. With these in place, it becomes easier to coordinate things. It’s still necessary to learn about what you need to do, but at least now you’re learning with the transmitters in place that you need to put that learning into action.
ADHD is a blessing in disguise. People with ADHD are highly perceptive, observant, curious, open-minded, loyal, and friendly. Their spontaneity and imaginations are strengths in situations that need imaginative thinking. People with ADHD contribute to the world in a way that only they can - and we’re all stronger for it.
Autumn’s got a race car brain. It’s tough to manage a race car brain on a normal road, but when that thing gets out on the track, it goes like hell. 
Take care Mike. You’ve got this 
I cannot imagine hiding this from my partner. Maybe leaving it out during the first dates. My sobriety keeps me alive so as I cannot and have no intention to hide my diabetes from people I love, I have no intention to hide my past and what is keeping me alive from my love.
Dana thank you so much and glad your med is helping, mine (Latuda) has been a great med for a couple years but I haven’t increased the dosage or anything in about 18 months, psych meds poop out I find, so not surprised.
I actually shouldn’t have taken an extra dose of my own accord, that was an addict (or nurse?) thing to do, just to take something to change my emotions, but fuck being quasi-suicidal and it’ll probably be a couple weeks before I can see my shrink.
I can’t imagine not telling my partner either…mostly though with long distance and in-person relationships I have had good results. Most partners wanted to help, I only had one complete rejection.
Actually you never know, my current partner works in a shelter on the weekends so knows aaaalll about addiction. I texted him frantically telling him to give up on me my last relapse (we hadn’t been together that long) and he was like, ok, calm down, I’m not going anywhere, it’s just a relapse, you can get back to sobriety. Love him so much.
Hey everyone, on day 6 here. I’m really excited that tomorrow will be one week weed free. I returned to work today after missing almost two weeks. I was anxious at first because I know I’ve missed a bunch, but that anxiety slowly went away as I went through my emails. Getting back into my routine feels nice, and I’m hoping to keep up this momentum.
Take it easy everyone 
Today went ok. I was tempted when my partner brought wine home but i dealt with it ok. They had said they would be dry for a while but obviously not
I will stay sober tho
Night folks
Guys its my first big sobriety test. Im volunteering at a fundraiser and sitting in the bar area. Wine and beer options but hey Im working, no drinking. I dont want to drink even though that little voice is jealous of the guests filling up their cups. I got this. I can do this. Bonus I get to hear Coffey Anderson the netflix country star sing tonight and see some amazing cars.
On day 5 alc free, and day 3 of isolation. I’ve lost my voice and my toddler thinks it’s funny
Checking in tonight, day 15 sober. 1st day in my 4 day weekend, started great. Got an oil change, emissions done on my car. Called electrician and he was fitting me in tomorrow to hang new ceiling fan in living room. Then I looked at fan, realized I don’t have a matching down rod, store didn’t have, and Hunter Fan website no longer carries. So I returned fan, went to Home Depot, nothing I liked. Totally bummed driving home, passed the liquor store I used to go to, I really wanted to drink. I was cranky, hungry and bummed, must be my triggers. I made it, but don’t feel great. Praying tomorrow is better.
Good evening everyone. Haven’t checked in a few days I believe. Been a roller coaster of life since last Friday. My wife and I were expecting out first child. We went in for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. Blood work shows there is no sign of progression. Was always afraid to have a child because of this disease but was overwhelmed with pride and excitement on what I could pass on once it settled. And now it’s all been ripped away very quickly. I am taking it very hard and my poor wife is even worse. We have one last bloodwork and ultrasound to be 1000% sure and then have to determine what’s next. But checking in on day 265, will be 266 in about three hours. Sorry about the long post I’m not one to normally post like this but we hadn’t told family yet in case something like this did happen, so don’t really have anyone to express how I’m feeling to. Hope everyone stays safe and take care.
Tomorrow will be much better when you wake up and realize you made it through without a drink! You still hanging in there?
I’m so sorry for what you and your wife are going through right now. Prayers are with you
Hi Miranda, yes, thank you I made it. I’m planning on tomorrow being a better day. Have a great evening 
Thank you very much. Prayers are appreciated.
That’s impossibly tough and sad for the both of you Chris. So sorry. Please take care of each other and yourself. Thinking of you.
Thank you very much. Is very hard and unexpected. Was a quick turn of emotions that day and still trying to process everything.
1070
Coffee. Last three days of my current job are coming up. Had my farewell eating out with colleagues last night, gifts, speeches and all. It was nice. It was enlightening and uplifting how my manager told how she has seen me change in the last years, from a guy that seemed lost in his head, isolating from his colleagues, into a true team player willingly sharing my knowledge and learning from others.
I still have to get used to be called a team player. And like it too. I’ve lived in my head, on my own, for so long. Being on booze and drugs for decades only enhanced and enforced that tendency in me. Literally coming out of my shell still feels new.
But it’s all good. It’s the only way to live a better life for me and for us all. It’s 100% no coincidence that my transformation at work has happened after I became sober and clean. And after I learned it can’t be done alone. I can’t do it alone, where ‘it’ means both this sobriety thing, as living life at large. You don’t know how big a role you all played in helping me get to that conclusion. And live it too.
I’m forever in your debt and forever grateful to all of you. So let’s have as good a day or night as we all can friends. Let’s make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from yesterday’s North Sea beach.
@maxwell You made it. Sometimes that’s all. And it’s big. Proud of you. Hugs.
@tors Hope you’re voice returns quickly Victoria. At least you’re humouring your toddler.
@Cjp Hope you had lots of sober fun lady.