Morning Check In
Day 88
Day 4 at the gym. Had a decent workout this morning. Trying to sort of adjust my thinking when it comes to the gym. Iām all about extremes usually when it comes to working out. Either I had a great workout or I didnāt and if I feel like I didnāt, then I end up feeling shitty about the whole thing. But this week has been different and everyday I go is a WIN in my books 
So I wanted to make banana bread this morning as we have so many bananas to use up, realized I didnāt have all the ingredients. I went to our convenience store downstairs and grabbed what I needed (sugar and baking soda). Stupid trigger to use came up 
(like some weird past memory) of when I would use baking soda to cook my DOC. Like come on! Triggered me for a second and then I brushed it off. But it feels like that past memory is sort of at the very back of my mind kind of gnawing away at me. Ridiculous how something so basic in life like baking soda (or light bulbs or spoons from my past), can have that kind of impact. I mean these are everyday items lol Ever since I got clean, I wont have certain spoons in my home or I have to do things differently so that I wont trigger myself (I dont feel like Im avoiding it, but I feel like āWhy make it harder for myself to stay clean by triggering myself?ā Anyway, I wonāt let this get to me. Will make my banana bread and have a healthy breakfast and go about my day! Dreamcatcher making and regular recovery stuff will be my tasks for today!
Hope everyone has an addiction free day!
Congrats on your 700 days. Your a warrior in my eyes much love
Thank you bro youāre a warrior too and much love back 
How sad Chris, thatās so hard news to deal with for you and your wife.
Shit man, sorry to read thisā¦ take care and I wish you and your wife strengthā¦
I canāt imagine the emotions you must be feeling. Please know that I am thinking if you allš
Thank you very much Kat. Still havenāt gotten any sleep but got some food in me and feeling a little more stable today.
Tha k you Claudia. It is upsetting but we are lucky enough we can try again.
Thank you much. And thank you for the thoughts.
Thinking of you and your wife man. Iām sorry to hear, but Iām glad you are such a strong person and sober to give the best support you can.
Checking in 866 days without substances.
What a nice chill morning!!!
Coffee, dogs, incense, messages from overseas friends. Heading out shortly to take my kiddo into the school for some physics support then after that the day is my oyster.
I have my first highschool NA presentation coming up on the 25th so I am pretty excited about that. For most of my life I felt like such a failure. I could never be truly successful at anything because addiction kept me āmediocreā. I was always just hanging on by a thread in my careers until I wasnāt hanging on at all. Outwardly it never seemed that way to others though, I played an amazing role and always had illegal gigs going on the side to make up for the money I wasnāt making legit. If youāve ever met anyone with a double life Iād be your gal. At 32 I had so much shame and remorse for the life I had āwastedā. I had gotten hooked on drugs at 13 and never looked back. Thankfully now at 48 I see my life differently and I see how much value there is in my story. If I can sit infront of an auditorium of adolescents and even if only 1 of them takes something away from what I say, my suffering will have not been in vain. The kids are dropping here like flies, in the schools, being narcaned right, left and center. I just pray that we can help someone.
@HillbillyChris you are on my mind this morning. Sending love and strength. 
Congrats Bro!!!
Welcome to the 700 club!!!
Hahahaha thank you sis!!!
Day 209 AF
Itās a beautiful day outside! Went for a walk before work.
Enjoy your day everyone!
@Charlie_C drive safely. Vacays always go by so fast 
@Rockstar24777 congrats on 700! Iāll get there someday, bro. One day at a time.
Seems to be limiting my replies! But want to thank everyone again. I knew there would be support but this is awesome. From the bottom of our hearts we appreciate the thoughts and prayers.
Hell yes!!! Congratulations 
194
Pushing through some very serious obstacles right now which include homelessness. This is no doubt my fault from past mistakes and trying to learn how to live in the real world again. What has kept me going is continuing to work my program no matter what. I have 100% been in survival mode.
I have made the decision to go back to Jacksonville Florida at least temporarily. I have a close friend that wants to help me and I think they just wanted to make sure that I was serious possiblyā¦ Iām not sure if Iām making the right decision but I do feel like thereās more help there for me. I keep thinking that this Tucson adventure didnāt work out, but thatās absolute bullshit. Iām coming back to my hometown sober ā¦ I honestly did not think that I would be going back sober. I have to continue to keep my guard up and be very serious who i surround myself with.
Iām tired but Iām grateful
And Iām very thankful for this community
Nine more days and I can go to Publix and get some chicken, jump in the ocean, and go to my home group in Saint Augustine!! And the first time it rains Iām just going to stand in it for an hour.
Day 70 of no alcohol and day 8 of my new thyroid medication.
Guys, I canāt tell you how much better I feel.
Itās like another world, literally.
Some of us with Hashimotos have a feeling of electricity inside their bodies and that youāre always in fight or flight mode.
That stopped.
I donāt feel dizzy any more, better sleep, no tremors, no feeling of low blood sugar, much less sadness and mood swings! Even when Iām on my period 
So yeah, all is good and getting better.
Iām still doing sports and take care of me 
Have a beautiful sober day team 