Sorry to hear you’re struggling today. Take it moment by moment friend, you will get thru it
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Woooooohooooooo!
Congrats on your 2 years sober Kyle.
Thanks for always being my friend here, really happy to be on this journey with you.
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Cravings don’t last as long as we think; maybe do something that takes your mind off of it. It is hard but the feeling of not giving in is worth it.
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My hubby doesn’t want to use. He loves the way our life is today. I do think that initally he thought he could make an easy $100 off of that bag by selling it. But I also wonder if that addictive voice was sneaking into his mind, trying to convince him that he could potentially hold onto it till the weekend. His approach to recovery is to just not use. I don’t even know if he believes that he is in “recovery” bcuz he doesn’t think like me (and I know without a doubt, 100% that I’m an addict. I’ve known for decades). So for him, bcuz he doesnt think like an addict, he doesn’t have to work at recovery. He just doesn’t use. Me on the other hand, I have to work hard for sobriety. I have to do daily work. And I feel like I am the foundation to our recovery, bcuz I’m the one who says no. So I always feel like I have to be strong in my recovery bcuz if there’s a weak moment with me and he makes some sort of comment or hints at using, and I cave, then we both use. I don’t think he would make the choice on his own to not use. I feel like I’m the one to continue on all the time for both of us. Like I’m the leader and he follows. Don’t get me wrong… sooo grateful that he is clean and he doesn’t put up a stink when I say no. He always agrees with me when I say that isn’t a good idea. He never goes behind my back and uses and comes home high etc. He actually has never even had a mouthful of alcohol in his 47 years of living (this was due to watching his stepfather commit suicide while intoxicated). And by hearing bits and pieces of my story and history with drugs, I think he is seeing how severe it is for me to go back out. I hope he’s learning and growing from this experience too
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Omg 
I’m so sorry for the loss of ur treatment friend. Anytime I hear of an overdose it rips my heart into pieces. I really hope that u get a sense of calmness in ur day today. Full of gratitude for recovery that’s for sure. Praying for that man’s family and for u also 
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Thank u! My stomach was turning when he mentioned that to me. My mind was going back n forth for about 5 min until I told it shut up for a sec so I can tell hubby not to bother with it cuz we are doing so good! I’m glad I don’t sit with my thoughts anymore. I got with my gut and my heart and follow thru
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Thank you Dana and I’m soooooo proud of you and your husband, well done my friend!!! 
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Thank you, that’s nice. Can you watch their plays?
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Hi All, checking in on Day 20, I’m amazed everyday at the new number of days sober! Still having a rough time with my RA, in the past I would have used this to drink, and it did mask a lot of pain. But I’m trying to think differently, that there’s a better way and this will pass. I’m staying positive, my faith helps me with that. And you all help me stay focused and on the right path, I’m thankful for everyone of you 
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Hi all 
I think it’s time for me to start checking in here daily again. Have had some thoughts romanticizing drinking as the weather is turning nice and we’re engaging in more outdoor activities. I feel secure in my ability to not drink by accessing my tools, one of which is checking in. I have learned it’s okay for me to lean on some sobriety tools more when I need them - in contrast to when I would feel guilty or like I wasn’t “working my recovery” fully if I shifted my approach. Glad I was able to let that go (with the help of some of my amigos here) and grateful I can come check in while I feel like I need it! Thanks, amigos 
Let’s get another day sober in the books.
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Day 143 AF.
Watching Queen of the South on Netflix and the drinking is ridiculous. I’m thankful I have no desire what-so-ever to ever go back to that poison. It makes the pit of my stomach burn thinking about it.
Stay strong everyone! 
Sobriety is an amazing gift we give ourselves.
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I’m glad you’re here too. Checking in has definitely helped me. Stay strong, we all want to see you succeed!
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59 days today 
and going strong!
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Well good luck! I have been lucky to not have it reoccur but when I had it it lasted quite a while before it improved. I’m sorry you’re going through that! Sorry I just reread that and thought it didn’t sound very hopeful but I meant to be hopeful because I have never had it come back again and it sounds like you’re doing all the right things
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Day 640 
Have a nice day 
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Well this morning wasn’t much better. My daughter’s going through teenage hormonal stuff and my husband does not know how to be sensitive to it so he’s quite impatient. I absorb the emotions of others which I’m trying really hard not to do because it always backfires and I don’t respond properly because I always trying to fix things. I just told my daughter if there was anything I could do to help to let me know and I just ignored my husband’s comments instead of trying to explain to him that they weren’t helping because when I try to do that in the moment it stresses everyone out including my daughter and I have to remember that their relationship is between the two of them and I can only be supported in my own way I can’t fix what’s happening between them.
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That my friend is how my higher power speaks to me. Beautiful.
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Thanks Dana it means a lot to me that you reached out and now I don’t feel alone with my trauma I feel another heart beating beside my own… I don’t mind saying what my traumas stem from I hope I don’t offend or trigger anyone else here
- Childhood emotional and physical abuse over my dermatillomania
- 10+years as a nurse caring for the dying and their families including some traumatic deaths and
- 8 months in hospital watching my 3-year old scream and cry through brutal chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant.
Whew that’s it not comparing it to anyone else’s but I was so deeply scarred that I turned to IV opiates to cope 6 years ago, wrong decision. It is interesting to talk to you and find out that there are times when it all lies below the surface and everything is ok, then times apparently when we are triggered and it explodes and blindsides us.
Substance use can never be the answer though I believe because that just masks the emotional pain. What we have to do I think is feel all the feels in a safe place and cry, cry, cry and process. Me anyway.
Still feeling wounded but going to do some serious searching for a trauma therapist when I get home…have heard good stuff about EMDR though I don’t quite know what it involves…
Thank you sister for reaching out we are not alone. None of us.
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Congratulations to your 2 years milestone!
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TBH I’m not much of a theatre lover. They do some outdoor activities each year. That’s nice.
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