You will absolutely be in my prayers. I can’t even imagine the emotions you are going thru right now. But I feel ur heart pulling at needing to find answers. I feel like the world is giving u signs that maybe this is the time to look at this piece of ur trauma. Im so incredibly sorry about what happened to ur sister 
I wish I could give u a hug. This will be tough I’m sure, but u have all of us too for support. Be gentle with urself as u go thru this. Reach out (as I feel u would anyway) if u need to vent or anything!
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Good luck with ur vaccine! My hubby actually had shingles last year (he’s 48) and they really hurt apparently. I’m glad ur getting the vaccine. It’s very expensive here. Is it costly where u live?
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That’s an awesome story Menno! It’s cool you still have a photograph from that long ago. 
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Day 16. Subbed the 5:30 am class and then go back to teach my 7 pm tonight. Glad today is the only day I have a schedule like that this week. I need to complete my Final over the next few days too.
We leave for vacation on Saturday and I’m a little stressed about it. Idk why but I’m extremely paranoid about traveling with my 6 year old daughter. I never felt like this with my other children. I’m afraid I’m going to lose her or something…weird I know.
Anyway, I just need to get through today and focus on what needs to get done today. Have a great day!
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Hi Sober Fam! I have completed Day 9, half way thru 10. This weekend was/is a little rough, 3 day weekend. Our office is closed today. I have a lot written down of things to do, and I’m now cooking a pot roast in the crockpot. I don’t like leaving the house with that on, unfortunately, I live in an area that delivers vodka in under 30 minutes. 
I have no intentions of going that route. ODAAT!
I hope all the Dad’s out here had an amazing Father’s Day! Have a great day, God Bless 
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I did too!!! 
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Hahaha ah Maxine 
at least I’m not the only one who thot that haha I was like, “why is everyone saying As Fuck all the time lol doesn’t make sense” lmao “Am I missing something?!”
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I will absolutely pray for you; until then, there’s nothing puppies can’t fix. 
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It means both. For example, I am AFAF!
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Hahaha I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! You’re so smart!!!
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Thanks… I have my moments. 
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TRIGGER WARNING ED
Checking in
Substance free for 904 days
Sugar free for 40 days
Self injury free for 424 days
This week I will be wrapping up 7 months worth of therapy which I have mixed feelings about. I went into this 7 months ago in an awful place with my eating disorder and I have managed to get into a more comfortable position. BUT there is always a but… I don’t feel stable. Because I have been “presenting so well” ( I hate it when mental health professional say that) a lot of my supports have let me go. I am struggling with digestion of my food which is common for people with ED when they start to eat or hold their food again. The feeling of fullness is a trigger for me so the feeling of being over full or not being able to use the bathroom (sorry for the details) is very, very triggering. Laxatives were something that I abused in my teens before anorexia got me so it’s all just a fucking big ass trigger. I would not say that I have been abusing anything to help my system but I am starting to obsess about not wanting to eat because I don’t want to feel full or not be able to go to the washroom. It’s so fucked. I have completely ruined my system and now it’s a vicious cycle trying to get my organs to work properly again. Anyways, here I am being open and honest about it. Shedding light on the darkness inside me because if I don’t it will take me down. I think that I will shoot my counselor a text and tell her i would like some support because I don’t feel safe yet.
Thanks for the part you guys play in my recovery.
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Oh honey, I’m so glad you shared. I have zero experience with these issues so all I can do is be grateful you spoke up and offer my love. One thing though, have any of them spoke with you about any dietary changes to make that could help with the adjustment process? Foods to eat to help and foods to avoid for now?
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Funny how this is coming up several times lately! You’re not the only one!
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Lol I had the same thoughts but my sick addict mind went further. I was a meth head so would I write day 10026 MF? Lord, have mercy
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Girl I’m so sorry ur having a tough time right now I’m glad u spoke about this. Even tho I don’t necessarily struggle with this form of ED, I can relate to the obsessive thinking of food and how it makes me feel etc. I too don’t like how supports tend to back off becuz they feel individuals are doing well. Recovery (for me anyway) isn’t a straight increasing line. It’s up and down… so even when things are going well, life can happen and thoughts can change or something can be triggering, and that support is needed again and in many diff stages of recovery. I am so proud of you for being so self aware and knowing that ur not quite feeling safe in this area just yet. They need to know this otherwise how can they help. I really hope and will pray that u get the ongoing support u need. Do they have an aftercare group in ur area that say meets up once a week to check in? I used to have an aftercare group after my last drug treatment program I was in and even an ongoing group for DBT back home. Maybe they have groups or support groups that can be attended for help with ED if u need. Idk. But im proud of you. This must be exhausting for u and u ARE making great progress! U ARE doing this! And I’m so glad u are aware of what you need 🫂
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Fleur…so glad you hung on. You and your sobriety are so important!!
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Yes I have been seen by a dietician a few times. I have also created a plethora of food intolerances over the years by inundating my body with certain foods. It was brought to my attention that when women are hormnal they should cycle their foods or this can easily happen. Good to know, but too late in my case. I get stuck on rituals and being very strict on eating specific foods when I eat. Anyways these intolerance add to making my intake difficult. All I really eat is fibrous foods, raw vegetables and fruit theses days, so one would think that I would be ok.
Thank you for your love, I will take it.
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Hahaha omg this is sooo funny! This could totally be a new thing lol I used to get tired of writing clean and sober, so I’d write C&S but I don’t think others know what that means lol
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Good for you!! Successful wedding that you actually remember. I’m going to a wedding on Saturday. Drinking, yes… but don’t expect it to be too bad. Meaning, I can avoid it. Because…I don’t drink!
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