Checking in day 357, feeling pretty amazing about my journey so far. Also feeling pretty depressed but that’s mostly my PPD I’m guessing. Had my ultrasound last Friday looks like I’m about 10 weeks
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Same! I also keep telling myself, “can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results!” I want and deserve a better life. Trauma healing + sobriety + clean healthy living! 
have a good evening!
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Day 19 almost to an end! This was a hard day to say no lol it’s my first day back in Vegas with tons of temptation, with all my coworkers drinking, gambling, you name it. I was able to get through it. I’ve got four days left here but I’ll be pretty busy so I feel like I’ll be good. Keep the good vibes going for me
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Congratulations April.
That is such wonderful news.
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Day 13,831 clean and sober
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Day 682
Another day of mother guilt 
. My daughter fell outside the toilet during karate lesson. She said it hurt and I comforted her, but she refused to do any more practice and I thought she was making a fuss because a. My son gets lots of attention and b. She wanted to get out of karate. Turns out she has a cracked bone. I was super impatient with her last night when she woke up in the night but she must have been genuinely in a lot of pain.
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Good morning everyone, it’s another warm day here in northern Italy. Still, things are going alright on the whole, I’m almost at 13 1/2 days, so I’m pretty happy about that.
Somewhat more distressing is the fact that my ex-girlfriend is making a great deal of effort NOT to be my ex-girlfriend. I understand that she feels differenttly about our relationship than I do, but I can’t really do much about that. We haven’t been able to see each other since early January, God alone knows WHEN we might be able to see each other again, and there is simply too much drama for me.
She is apparently SO broken up at the thought of us not being together that she fainted at work yesterday as a result of a lack of sleep and food, and is now in the hospital for a couple of days! She has always had an issue with low blood pressure…
I don’t mean to be harsh, but sending a message that says “I hope that you’re having a nice day, I’m in the hospital. I hope that your work is going well” strikes me somewhat as an attempt at emotional blackmail. The last time that I was hospitalized for an injury, I also sent a message to my previous girlfriend, saying “I’ve had a bit of an accident, I’m in the hospital, but it’s just a minor injury, a few x-rays and I will be home later”.
So what do the rest of you think?
In the past, such a situation would doubtlessly have prompted me to reach for a glass of wine (or five), but I am certainly fine without it.
I hope that the rest of you are having a good and sober day.
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I’m glad you got some quality rest finally! Feel like a million bucks don’t you? 
Ironically, I’m still awake and it’s nearly 3am where I’m at. 
Anyway, you have a great sober day today!
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1112
Coffee. I didn’t sleep too well until a big storm broke the hot humidity at around 4 am. Did get some uninterrupted sleep after that. Better. Anyway, going back to work today after nearly two weeks of covid-sick-leave. I think I’m ready for it. I’m clean and sober. Just for today.
I’m thinking about adding a third counter. One counting porn free days. While I’m not even 100% sure I want to abstain from it totally & forever I am sure I’m a porn addict. And having learned about my substance related addictions I probably should stay away from it. I talked about it with me therapist yesterday (again), she seemed to think it a good idea too.
I guess I will set it up now. One day at a time, just like the rest. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love from my balcony.
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Hey all, checking in on day 740. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Awww congratulations!
Is PPD like perinatal depression? I had that really bad during my last pregnancy and at one point was on suicide watch in hospital, it was awful. However, I ended up with an amazing psychiatrist who specialised in women’s pregnancy/mental health and also received alot of support from child health nurses afterwards. Do you have support around you? Sending hugs x
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Relationships are work! Sometimes I forget that and it isn’t always rainbows and daffodils - kind of like recovery in that way. I’m sorry that things get frustrating for you with your partner and you feel like your emotional needs aren’t met at times or that things can get misaligned (that’s what I’m hearing from your posts, at least). I frequently have to remind myself that my partner is human and just like anyone, their reaction or response is much more about them than about me. I have had a bad habit over the years of making assumptions and mind reading, thinking I can analyze situations and know what’s going on without asking questions and being curious about what’s led to his behavior. It has taken some practice to take a step back when I feel whatever I feel and not make those initial assumptions when things feel off. Then if it still feels like there is a conflict, wait until the situation is less immediate and have a conversation around it. So for example, let’s say my husband says something that feels rude or unappreciative, instead of reacting and letting my hurt feelings take over, I try to consider if there is something going on with him that I’m not aware of and if that is possible, later on I would ask him if there is something bothering him because I noticed x, y, z, giving concrete examples. You said “x” and that isn’t like you, is there something you want to get off your chest? Etc.
You mentioned your hubby has been out of work lately and maybe that’s been stressing him out - just one example. Anyway, I don’t know if this would help or apply to you and your partnership but I felt compelled to share because I feel like I’ve been there before. Hang in there - it is possible to improve communication in relationships!!!
Edit - just wanted to say that it’s healthy to have your boundaries and I’m glad you’ve stuck with yours. Expectations are a really tricky thing in general, even more messy in romantic partnerships I think. It’s worth exploring that for yourself and how they affect you. His ambivalence toward your recovery and milestones might also be more about him than you…how he might be less enthusiastic because he’s not as recovery focused for himself. Just a thought, maybe I’m off base.
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Day 20 AF
Submitted an application for a rescue dog today and just recieved a phone call to advise of the next steps of the procedure should I be successful. Fingers crossed. Have a great weekend everyone.
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So sorry to hear about Penny. How lovely that you are able to support her now while sober.
I totally understand the extra challenges. My cholesterol is bad so I am having to cut loads out, but feel energised by already giving up alcohol. It is like a complete lifestyle change and new me. With the exception of coffee 
That is supposed to be good for the liver so treating it as medicinal.
I hope you have a restful day with Penny 
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She’s definitely pulling out all the stops. maybe let her know you’re concentrating on yourself rn.
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Omg sounds like an absolute challenge in your early sobriety. You should be proud man! I was just curled up in a ball for a few weeks straight when I stoped drinking ahaha. I think even now being in Vegas would be a test of my patience and sobriety.
Keep up the good work, sending good vibes. Don’t forget to check in if your feeling the urge over the next few days 
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Day 86-
Just finished up watching my son play his Friday night football game. He kicked his first goal of the season, with his new footy club. He wanted it so bad, and he worked so hard. His whole team knew how badly he wanted to get a goal, and they all ran in and scooped him up and cheered for him when he finally got one. It was such a beautiful moment. I’m so happy to be sober, to be able to be fully present for these moments. He’s growing so fast, I don’t want to miss any of it.
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Thank u Rosa!!! So much!!! I am heading to the gym right now but I want to say that I agree with EVERYTHING u posted and I really, REALLY appreciate the view points. I will come back and reply to ur post in more detail when I have more time (after the gym), but thank u! That makes alot of sense and really eases my resentment or whatnot towards hubby 🫂
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Thank u for ur response! And I do think ur right on that! Money is an issue for us, more so before, but still now. So money is involved in this wasting food business too. So u couod be absolutely right on this!!
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Day 11. The tiredness of the week is over my shoulders. Mild cravings started
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