Morning! From the UK. I am up late this morning. My sleep schedule is all over the place. Fortunately I have a flexible, work from home job where I can shift my hours about!
I was reading your post about the walking and can partially empathise. Although I see you have possible COPD - I hope you have caught it early enough and it is reversible! Sounds like there is some hope. And the Camino de Santiago is a pretty awesome goal/ motivator to help you work towards it.
I’ve been really struggling with my energy levels for about a year now. Turns out I am iron and b12 deficient. Probably have been for 10 years but a lot of doctors don’t know how to read blood tests to diagnose this stuff apparently. I wonder if that’s the underlying cause of a lot of the mental health stuff too. Anyway. It really fucking sucks when your body just will not do the things you know it should be able to, and has done in the not too distant past! That whole process of having to readjust expectations and find the balance is exhausting in itself. Then there’s the actual exhaustion
Hopefully largely reversible in my case but it’s likely to be a good few months or maybe even years to fully address it. I have my share of foot stamping ‘it’s not fair’ moments and I allow myself them. The antidepressants I’m on now help me to not wallow too long in them. And apply the wonderful lessons I have learned from sobriety and this forum.
That’s completely me. Like most people my age in recovery, I feel this overpowering need to make up for lost time since I spent my best years being drunk. Now I’m not young anymore so I’m squeezed between my need to do something and my physical limitations. Sometimes I just want to say “F**k It!” and drink. But I know it won’t help.
The Japanese have a saying; “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
Start of the school holidays here, I was looking forward to it but omg the endless bickering between my younger 2 today makes me grateful this school break is only 2 weeks long.
I actually had fleeting thoughts of having a drink this afternoon just to help me relax from it all but I know it’s not actually going to help anything and I’ll be damned if I throw away how far I’ve come. Plus the idea of a hangover scares the beejezus out of me so not today little voice of temptation, not today.
I think it might be time to hit up a meeting this week, not sure how I’ll do it but I’ll make it happen.
Have abit of upcoming stress with moving in 6 weeks time and the idea of it all is just too overwhelming at times. I’m super organised and have my check-lists done and boxes ready to start packing but the “doing” part is stressing me out already.
Ahhhh, one day at a time. Just gotta take everything one day at a time and all will be ok.
Day 479. Enjoyed a five day mini vacay that culminated with a wedding. Lots of booze, very few over-intoxicated people that I could see. Had I been at my drinking worse I might have really made a fool of myself. This is a great group of people and I would be feeling very bad today. Instead…I feel great! Happy Monday all.
Day 23
Doggo has settled in so well. Eating, playing, sleeping. How I’ve missed such a beautiful companion so much. $200 bed but alas last he slept with me just to let him settle in. Tonight I gave him a treat to entice him onto his bed and he was quite happy to. So so happy.
Hey all checking in this am along with my other self-care rituals before I get up and moving
Doing good overall taking it odaat. Working on Step 3 an action step…as I’ve been reciting step 3 for months…it helps me surrendery own will and leave it up.to God.
Having fleeting feelings off and on for my ex so definitely noting that…working through it. Addictions are awful but help us to learn on our recovery.
Slowly getting yoga business arising…thankful helps iny recovery.
Yea I get it! Although I came to sobriety early. I am in my early 30s and having wasted my 20s being shitfaced I thought this decade might be good for me. So far not so much…! But I guess our best years are whenever we have our best times. And it’s easy to look back on time ‘wasted’. But those experiences bring us where we are now right? So let’s agree our best years start now and we make that happen by removing our expectations of what they ‘should’ be like? If we always wait for everything to be perfect then the best years will always be behind us, and we won’t realise it until it’s too late.
Spent the weekend walking around the city with my dog, listening to some good music, visiting markets and working a little bit. Feeling grateful for the time I had with the people I love. Been feeling really happy the past couple of days, waking up with a smile almost, haha. Not something I was feeling 3 months ago so feeling super grateful for that. Taking it one day at a time. Life is good sober. Have a beautiful day friends.
Good morning everyone! Day 2 completed and now working on day 3. I’m up early and getting ready for work. My anxiety is through the roof and I keep hoping nobody I work with was at the concert this weekend and recognizes me. I’m struggling with wanting to keep myself at home instead, but I know I have to go to work at some point. Here’s to hoping for a smooth day and staying on track. Hope everyone is having a good morning.
Day 38 (Part 1) - I’m doing an early check in today as I feel so incredibly exhausted and broken down today.
I have realised that I have not been following the advice I read on here and I have myself recommended. I have spent the last week rushing around trying to meet other people’s expectations and my usual over inflated expectations of what I can achieve.
A large part of that is the guilt that I am not with the children full time anymore. So when I do see them I try to cram in all the things they want to do. I need to set healthy expectations for them and me.
I am working today but from home. I am slowly working through a backlog of work but the brain fog is real today.
Because of this I have decided to have a mental reset. Try and focus on what is happening today, not the anxieties about conveyancing and the future nor the frustrations of having no fixed abode and relying on the kindness of friends. I can feel that I am impacting their lives now and I really just want to get to a point where I have a place to call my own.
But wanting things to change isn’t going to get me anywhere and the conveyancing will be done when its done. I complete my actions as quickly as possible, now it is down to the professionals.
In the mean time I am going to focus on getting some good sleep. Eating well and exercising more, because those things are in my control.
I woke up a little after 6am this morning to a message from a friend who lives in Solvenia. His father just passed away. I didn’t have a muddled head and I wasn’t in a mania of tweaking so despite not having coffee yet I was able to speak to him with calmness and compassion. I was able to feel his pain and let him talk without making it all about me. The gifts of recovery are amazing.
I’ll be 69 in five weeks and I’m still a gamer. No longer hard core, up all night and day, but it is part of who I am. I’ve known this friend for five years and I love him dearly. Gaming has given me beloved friends from all over the world. I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful he thinks of me as his cyber mom and was able to reach out to me.
Sitting here in the stillness of the dawning day enjoying my morning cup and enjoying the stillness in my mind and heart. My one eyed cat, Pumpkin, wallowing on my lap being bathed in love. Perfect way to start my day.
Four days to the convention. Today I’m in pre-pack mode lol. Making my list of things to pack, laundry and shopping. Trying to calm my excitement and just be.
Lol so much for calming my excitement. I heard a different bird call and stepped outside to find this beauty perched in our tree and it’s mate soaring. Bald eagles are so majestic!
Good morning friends, day 590!
I am really good at many things, especially when it comes to home improvement projects. Drywall finishing is not one of those things. After many days trying to get my small drywall project to look good, I have thrown in the towel and contacted a friend who is an expert. She’s coming by to take a look and give me an estimate. I am perfectly happy letting her clean it up. No shame in it at all.
So, when that is done, I really just need to finish the woodwork on that wall, plop the new vanity in and install the faucets, mirrors and lights. No more than about 1 weeks worth of work.
So so tired of these projects but whatever Linda wants, she gets. I have to remind myself that these are the living amends I signed up for when I decided to turn my life around.
Have an awesome day! I am going to do mine sober!
PS : here’s a picture of the monkeys at church yesterday.
@BrianP i am so sorry you are going through this. Im sure Penny is greatful for the life you have provided. Although very tough on you take solice in the fact that this is the compassionate thing to do. So so sorry we are here for you. Just dont pick up! Come here. Weve got you
we are here for you. Just dont pick up! Come here. Weve got you