Hi Aura, 4 months is Amazing! 
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Hi @Twizzlers 
I donāt think Iāve seen a check in from you in a couple days, (maybe only reply posts?) wanted to say hi to you and your cool pet gang. And your kitty visitor you feed. 
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You always make sure everyone is okay, wanted to make sure youāre too. 
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I went uni in Liverpool and used to live in the halls at the bottom of penny lane. Love that city so much. Visited last year to see some friends.
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Day 164
I already wrote and deleted about 3 check-ins by now. Iām so self-conscious. I canāt make mistakes. Or rather I can and do plenty but Iām not allowed to. I probably make more mistakes because of it if anything. Whenever someone has to explain anything to me at work I immediately go āyes, yes ofcourse, sureā like Iām supposed to know already before itās even explained. Subconsciously already telling myself I shouldāve known. I want people to think good about me, so I try so hard. Yet whenever I get compliments I just say āyeah yeahā and shrug it off. Before bed I felt a bit pointless. Just the 9-5 thing, there was nothing remotely special about today. And up for work in 6 hrs. But I think I can sleep better having written my thoughts down(and deleted 3x). Good night wonderful people 
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Bingo 
When we quit, it makes people think about their own relationship with alcohol. And that can be uncomfortable for lots of people.
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Hi Arno! Itās okay to make mistakes, if you never did, you wouldnāt learn anything. Here, I re-read my posts several times, then post and have to go in and edit a couple more times. 
Please try not to be so hard on yourself, weāre all imperfect people, thatās how God made us, and he doesnāt make mistakes. At work, itās okay to let people explain and take notes or ask questions if youāre unsure or donāt understand something. Iāve trained a lot of people at the office and I like when people ask questions. If you think you forget things easily, take notes. Iām a big note person.
And CONGRATULATIONS ON 164 DAYS! Thatās a huge accomplishment
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Hey @ArnovdL i can relate so hard to having that very critical inner voice! Hopefully on your sober journey you can find that giving yourself some grace is necessary and acceptable. Glad to see you posting! Sleep well 
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Hi Kat here checking in on Day 38 after alcohol/benadryl relapse and day 343 off meth pills!
Have had a good day, made a dinner and posted on the food thread for the first time. I just love my new kitchen in the new rental
Loving cooking and my roommate (who happens to be my first ex-husband) is fun to cook for.
I am so excited today I used my program to change.
So my boyfriend has been a bit tardy texting me back and sometimes doesnāt check his phone the whole day. I know heās got stuff going on but I was mad all night and resolved to give him a taste of his own medicine and ignore his messages.
This morning however, I read in my email the NA Spiritual Principle of the Day (which was about not trying to control every aspect of our lives) and the Just for Today (which was about patience). Ohhhhā¦ I lost all my anger and sent the boyfriend a nice good morning text.
Sorry this is freaking long but also have to report that the using unemployed addict son-in-law of the lady I drive to meetings tried to FB message me. Blocked 
right away because I tend to be tempted to ask him to hook me up. And he probably just wanted money. BIG NO.
Also my roommateās using friend is coming over tonight, although she knows Iām in recovery and has been told not to sell me drugs or use them in my house, I still have to be on major guard and tell myself a BIG FAT NO. NO NO NO. Call sponsor if necessary.
Meeting at homegroup tonight which will fortify me!
Love Kat
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Yea, I think weāre our worst enemies and biggest critics. I used to wake up every morning telling myself how much I sucked because I couldnt stop drinking. Now I thank God for helping me and call myself an idiot for every other dumb thing I do or say. 
That is SO true!! It never hurts for me to remind myself of that. Blink of an eyeā¦poof!
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Checking in at the end of a day of personal reflection while working and living. The thing about change and growth - which is core to all the key actions in my life now, both at home and at work - is that you need to dig deep and see if you can find any part of you clinging to old patterns, old habits.
I catch this Matt tiptoeing around my thoughts and behaviours. He reacts to my emotions in avoidant ways, generally - this creates problems - but despite this there is something about him that isā¦ vital.
What is he? What feeds him? What place does he occupy in me as I grow forward into this new chapter in my life? I donāt have an answer to this question. I will spend time reflecting and writing about it. Maybe Iāll write him a letter. 
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This is some serious reflective work ur doing! Very proud of you Matt! Itās hard sometimes to sort of figure out what the purpose of certain aspects of us are. Maybe a protective mechanism that was developed during ur addiction? Idk. But I feel like ur on the right path! Love seeing this progress for u 
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Thatās an insightful way to look at it. Heād be a part of my identity that was created to be cautious and guarded; to be anxious and concerned.
If itās time for him to retire, maybe he needs a retirement ceremony. He can stay on as an occasional advisor but not as a main decision-maker.
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Love this!!! Absolutely 
Reiterment indeed. U are no longer in that place in ur life where āother Mattā is needed. I feel like uv come so far!! I actually did a letting go ceremony for āJody Jamesā which was the name and alter ego I went by years ago in the lifestyle I used to be in. She was me of course but she had qualities that I didnāt have on my own. She kept me safe in times of survival. We are no longer in survival mode They served a purpose at one post for sure! To keep us safe I guess in a sense. But yes āMattā maybe is no longer needed that often anymore Iām really excited for you!
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@Its_me_Stella has summoned me from the depths of my introverted hole 
My life seems to be getting back to somewhat normal time wise. Iām even going to bed at a normal time for the past few weeks. Yay! Missed you guys!!
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It is so frickin good to see you again, amiga!!!
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Hi there! I havenāt seen your name before, Iām Maxine. Nice to meet you and CONGRATULATIONS on that awesome sober #!
Iām the annoying one with a gif app. (Yep, Iām THAT guy )
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Hey!!! Really good to see u! Iām glad ur back here
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