Good morning all! It has been a while since I’ve checked in. I’m glad to be here and be sober for the last 8 months and more.
I’m learning that being sober is more than not drinking. My emotional energy and ability to really feel what is going on around me is definitely enhanced in sobriety. And with a lot of excercise and decent sleep I’m able to reduce the anxiety response a lot better than in the past. I am able to stay calm and gentle, even in provoking situations. I did not know this could be a part of sobriety and I’m intrigued to see how it impacts my life and my relationships.
I recently made it through the various triggers of a family reunion in a family with a lot of unresolved issues. Maybe all families are like this, but I’m pretty sure we have some extra special details. Some of us are recovering addicts, some are recovering child abuse victims, and some of us are skipping along in levels of denial that are really quite spectacular. Add on a suicide experience, multiple divorces, blended families, long distances and local relationships and by golly we are just a barrel of fun!
I’m so glad to say that not only did I have a nice visit with various nieces and nephews, but that my siblings and I are in accord that we are caring for each other and seeking whatever level of peace we can find. We will stop the cycle in our generation as best we can.
In other news, the hubby is also sober and committed and we are finding new levels of care between us. His sobriety in the family reunion allowed him to be supportive to me and eliminated some angst for me in how he would be. And for that I’m grateful.
We will be hosting his family for a short visit later this week. So the work continues in these experiences and I’m looking forward to learning more as we go.
We are both reading about addiction and learning how Buddhist teachings have helped addicts. Right now I’m reading a book by Josh Korda. I think I am barely ready to get to that level as I’m gaining confidence in my sobriety. I’m always happiest when I am learning and trying new things, so times are good for me right now.
Last week my son got in a serious car accident. Fortunately the safety features in his car protected him and he was smart enough to be wearing his seatbelt. It was a scary day, no doubt, but he is ok and will be getting another car. It was one of those moments that no parent wants to have to consider… the what if? But it did not go that way so focusing on the solutions to transportation is a refreshing problem to face considering it all. My son is 32 years old, and has come a long long way from being a very challenging teen. Our relationship is great, and considering the family background I briefly addressed above, I’m super proud of where we are. He is my example that the cycle of abuse and dysfunction is ending in my generation. I’m grateful that he is ok after that terrible day.
Summer is floating by here in my part of the world. I’m off work from my teaching job and am enjoying this chance to practice retirement. I bike or swim or hike everyday and eat good food and get good sleep. I write curriculum and read a lot too. I will be ready when school starts. I’ve been in public education for 35 years. I will probably keep going in some form until I don’t want to. That’s a pretty great place to be.
Every day I’m grateful to have found the support and resources to be on my sobriety journey. Over 30 years of alcohol abuse and its abuse of me has ended and I’m committed to taking good care of myself this way. I check in to this community every day, even if I don’t write. And while I am not involved in AA these days, I definitely see the benefit of the supportive community that is here. So thank you for sharing and keep up the good effort everyone. We can help each other and find our way to peace and maybe even happiness.
