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My afternoon isnāt going too well. Tried to get out and move around but it is just so hot and humid, but I feel so confined and restless sitting at home. Fighting off another really strong urge to drink now so I thought Iād shout out at my squad. Howās everybody doing?
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Kansas sounds like FL! Hang tough, I hope the urges subside.
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Exhausted from work all day. We had a violent intruder training and it made me really sad to look at what the world is coming to. There were two younger coworkers who said theyve had active shooter trainings in middle school and high school. Like wtf?! I just had fire and tornado drills. Theres good in this world just sad
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Welcome back! Iām sorry to hear you had someone get under your skin here. It sucks and itās not helpful. But youāre back and so is Kevin (heās such a cutie). Welcome back you two 
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Iām sorry that happened and Iām glad you (and Kevin Snickerdoodle Cadbury) are still here. Most important, you stayed sober! Donāt let one knucklehead derail you. Or any number of knuckleheads, for that matter.
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That truly is depressing. I remember having fire drills in school, that was about it. Active shooter drill is just mind boggling. 
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Day 4! I can usually do 3-5 days, itās after that the urges get stronger. Then the weekend hits and I tell myself I deserve to relax. I work hard after all. I can drink like everyone else! If I portion control. Then, Iām good until Iām not! Waking up not remembering going to bed. Feeling extreme anxiety about what might of happened. Scarred to find out if my husband is talking to me or not. Waiting for my son to make a comment on something I said or did. Feeling the extreme toxic shame. This is a vicious cycle. That should be enough to stop right? Itās not enough to physically feel like crap, but to have constant shame too. Never mind the damage it causes my family. This time Iām going to finally be strong and cope differently. This is my daily promise to myself and family.
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I hope you stick around, Beth. The first week is tough but youāll be stronger each day you abstain.
You definitely deserve a great life with your family! Iām rooting for you, 
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Thank you!
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Just got home a couple hours ago from a 450 mile round-trip to an MLB baseball game. Had such a fun day planned with my 19 year old son. We left really early, was gonna be a big day. To make a long story short, it didnāt go good. We were in the stadium for 15 minutes before leaving and coming straight home. My son has some issues but he really messed this up. I was sad, mad, angry, exhaustedā¦ everything. But, in the car driving home, I remembered all of the things Iāve read on here about expectations. It helped a lot. It also helps writing out this vague share (this is hard for me). Thanks to you all.
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Hey Mark! I havenāt been on much today. How are you doing now? Itās soo beyond hot here also. Iāve been confined to my apartment also for most of the day
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Iām glad u didnāt allow someone or something to prevent you from getting the support u need here on TS. Glad ur back 
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Yeah I thought Iād get out and move around a little today, until I actually got outside. 
Kansas humidity is punishing! And itās supposed to be over 100Ā° for the next week.
Going a little stir crazy between unemployment and the heat. Also feeling a little temptation since I got my taxes back. 
Still I canāt complain, Iām sober still, and I am planning on a trip in the near future if I get back to work soon!
How are you?
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Keep ur eye on the prize my friend! That trip sounds wonderful! Where would u like to go? Iām doing wepp tonight. Now that it has cooled off abit I can open up the windows and get some fresh air and a breeze in here.
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Good evening all checking in on day 327. Was a nice day and got a tree down in the yard. More pickup tomorrow and finishing up on my final essay for this class and then starting another! Hope everyone stays safe and takes care.
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Soooo excited to get a good sleep tonight!
Iām really nervous about my sister in lawās event coming up this weekend.
Thankful for seeing my grandfather today and for having time to garden.
I love summer but I find it more challenging to stay sober.
Sending love to you allā¤ļø
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Checking in day 78.5. Attended a friend of Mines birthday party cookout. Brought a cake and some n/a beers. Met some cool ass people and ate a bunch of good food. The not drinking thing didnāt bother me even though it was around. Felt like another victory. I was talking to my wife about it on the drive home and we came to the conclusion that if I was drinking that tonight would have been a completely different evening. I mean there was a handle of vodka and no one was hardly touching itā¦ I would have been blackout within a couple of hours in the past. Also Iām sure that I would have thought everyone was drinking in the way I use to drink. That wasnāt the case at all. In fact they were all having a few beers at the most. We left around 9 pm and went down to lake tahoe for a night swim and drove home. Old me would have been loud and probably got in my argument about staying later l (even though we had our 4 year old with us). Iām happy to be able to remember and enjoy events now without booze, and happy that it seems be getting easier. Thankful for another day sober! Much love all:)
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One day at a time Beth. I know itās cliche but it fucking works! I had 3 days so many times I canāt count. After about a week it started getting easier. Less waking up with soaking wet sheets ectā¦ you got this. I do not miss those feelings of wondering what I said and to who. The nightly blackoys and drinking the next day to feel semi normal. Itās a vicious cycle, and not a fun one. Sober life is a better life for us!
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Two things to change. First your idea you ādeserveā a drink, you deserve more! You deserve a happy, dignified sober life. And second, that ājust a coupleā is a lie. Certain people can never have just one, and that is just how it is. I canāt fly or do a handstand either. Iām sure you can keep your promise to yourself and your family.
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