Omg! Great catch!! 777 is amazing! Keep us the good work
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Keep us posted on your new journey
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@SassyBoomer thanks for your reply, itās most appreciated.
I hear exactly what you are saying, and I do try to appreciate those small, wonderful treats in life. The problem is every time I try this Iām constantly overcome with this inner feeling of death. Maybe I donāt understand gratitude, maybe Iām expecting it to make me feel a certain way.
If Iām being honest, Iām finding getting old extremely hard. That seems to cloud everything. I wonāt do video calls with anyone anymore and sometimes I want to put a bag over my head when I leave the house. Who wants to look at that? I was pretty once and this I know: a womanās value is derived primarily from her looks. You can hang me over a volcano about to explode and I will not renounce that. This isnāt some distorted thinking twisted up by CPTSD or depression or existential despair. This is a very accurate view of reality and womenās place in it. So I think I need to working on embracing, or at least accepting, my āaul oneā state of existence.
Thanks again for your thoughtful words.
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I think your being really hard on yourself 
Also there are alot of people men and woman in the world that dont judge or like or dislike people because of there looks, I hope you are okay
Please be kind to yourself x 
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Thankyou @Its_me_Stella. Can I ask what you mean by self-pity? Iām not being in any way facetious or flippant, itās a genuine question as Iāve never really quite known what it means or why it matters.
Iām also not so sure about getting back what we put into the world. Iām not being argumentative, Iām really not, Iām just talking. A consistent experience for me, for as long as I can remember is āNo good deed goes unpunishedā.
Iād be curious to hear your thoughts on either of the points above. Thanks again.
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Hi Kat here at day 40 from benadryl and alcohol relapse, 11 months 11 days from meth pills!
Just got home from a meeting with my NA peeps I am truly working on feeling like an integral part of the group and connecting with people on a deeper level. This can be a little hard both from my own instinct that Iām not good enough to be a part of, and becauseā¦lolā¦ I donāt smoke! There is a lot of fellowship that goes on in the smoking area at NA but I canāt stand it lol so miss out a bit. Thatās ok though, am making progress in connecting.
Tomorrow Iām going to do my best to be up at a reasonable time, and to go to the gym for the first time in a couple months, do something positive and accomplish things for me. Helps my dopamine.
Love and have a great sober day wherever you are on your journey!
@Butterflymoonwoman soooo proud of you sister!
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CONGRATULATIONS on 20 months! 
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Hi Daniel-
Congratulations on 4 days! I know we all say it, but really focus on ODAAT. Tell yourself, you wonāt drink today. Then tomorrow repeat. I find especially early on, try to keep busy with anything thatās not alcohol related. Urges will come, but you can get past them.
Good luck on the upcoming move! And Iām with you, I find quitting a job even harder than interviewing for a new one. 
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Thanks CJ! Yes, I feel itās the only thing I do. I want to get it done so I can start a new one. 
You have to be getting pretty far with your painting, are you passed paints 1-12 yet? I love starting a new color.
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Too tired tonight after aa, a tough convo with the hubby, and dinner. Im planning on making more progress tomorrow and i will keep you posted 
P.s. big none fight last night with the hubby. I refused to engage and ignored him. Plus side hes committed that today is his day one no alcohol. So we shall see
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Unbelievable numbers, congratulations! 
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Smart, always best not to fight with someone whoās been drinking. I hope he does it today, at least heās wanting to try. 
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Hi Siobhan, welcome. Such a pretty name, always liked it, had a friend that named her daughter that. Iāll bet you get people mispronounce it often.
A friend here told me about this gif app, needless to say, she created a monster. 
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Hi Kat, CONGRATULATIONS ONā¦
DAYS!
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What are you getting at?
(Ok, Iāll stop, for tonight)
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Day 271 AF
Nothing new.
Still fighting the good fight. Kids and the fam are healthy. Canāt complain.
Have a goodnite yall!
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