I’ve always like to listen to this song it’s not the words it’s the music it’s the feeling. And other Enya songs. I hope some of this helps and I hope you will feel better
3 Likes
Wake up with 80 tomorrow. Feeling good. Played the best golf I have played in my life today. Finally broke 90! Felt great, feels great. Much love all!
12 Likes
@Stella thanks for your reply.
I read the pamphlet and the words are very encouraging. I am curious about the lines “As addicts, however, we seem to falter along the way. We never seem outgrow the self-centeredness of the child. We never seem to find the self-sufficiency that others do. We continue to depend on the world around us and refuse to accept that we will not be given everything”. Perhaps this is what is happening for me on some deeper level, a level I can’t quite connect with. Growing up with an abusive alcoholic father and a neglectful mother, where I was the parent before I even hit my teens, I learned very early to expect absolutely nothing from people or the world. That’d hard-wired into my brain. I grew up very anxious, with no ability to self-sooth(why would I have that ability?)and so I reached for painkillers to escape all the inner turmoil and to be able to function. Alas, not the most creative solution but it wasn’t because I refused to accept the world wouldn’t give me everything. I never believed that about the world to begin with. I wanted to pass exams and later succeed in my job without having a panic attack every day and looking like a crazy person.
I know there’s a message there that I’m probably just not getting, not connecting with. It’s beautifully written and I very much appreciate that you posted it. I’ve even saved it. I’ve spent years in therapy and I still haven’t figured myself out.
Regarding the “no good deed…” in my case it’s more along the lines of deciding to give a work colleague a ride home because it was raining heavy and I knew she’d be standing at a wet bus stop. It was a bit out of my way and not my usual route but I was happy to oblige. I get a speeding ticket for something like 5 miles over the limit. I only tell you that one because it’s the most recent but there have been countless others, like trying to comfort someone who is upset and I confide certain things about myself so they feel better, or at least not so alone, and then they repeat those things to the last sort of people who should know them and it backfired in a big way, or spending time with someone and supporting them, both emotionally and financially, as they were going through a bad breakup and later when I was hospitalized and had no one, they didn’t even contact me. Yeah, they knew I was in hospital. Maybe these are all just petty life stuff to most people, but it seems to be a running theme for me, so I just stay away from people now. All my neighbors hate me, of course, because I won’t stand around outside with them back-stabbing and gossiping, and of course that makes me the “oddball”.
Apologies for the long post, I know life is short enough. Some days I can’t write a word, others I can’t stop. You are all such lovely people here and I thank you all for your patience and understanding.
4 Likes
Rosa I’m rooting for you! Hope you find the strength to keep on the good path! You can do it one day, hour, minute at a time!
1 Like
Hi there maxwell. Thanyou for the warm welcome, most appreciate.
1 Like
1133
Coffee. My Sunday. Choices. Home chores, cycling, and if cycling, road bike or hybrid, just relaxing? I guess a bit of all although with cycling I do have to choose. It will all be clean and sober, that’s for sure. That’s why we’re here. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean. Just for today. Love from Amsterdam.
26 Likes
Agree BrianP much better than social media, nice to know there is someone else on here from the heart of Cheshire, me too. Have a nice day. xxx
1 Like
Hey all, been missing for a couple of weeks. Took some time away from all socials. Back at Day 11 AF
Hope everyone is doing ok.
13 Likes
Good to see you my friend, I’m glad your here.
Congratulations on 230 days 
1 Like
I just woke up and saw your post. I hope you got some rest. Sometimes life can really deal us a shitty hand and it’s hard to get through it especially mentally and emotionally. You did the right thing reaching out here instead of reaching out elsewhere. Perhaps today will be the day that turns it around. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that getting messed up did absolutely nothing to make a crappy situation better. It either made it worse or did nothing but make me feel worse about it. Stay close to us here while dealing with it for the support. You are important to us here. We care about you. 
6 Likes
Good morning. It’s great to see some impressive milestones and positive support to motivate us all.
I’m exhausted. I’ve had some late nights due to one thing or another, but my day starts at 5 am to be at work by 7 no matter what. TGIF.
Wishing everyone a solidly sober day!
10 Likes
Day 6! Today I commit to my promise to myself and my family to make better choices. I’m so greatful for all that I have.
I have been reading through everyone’s posts and I’m finding them inspiring. Even the set backs, because everyone’s attitudes are positive and supportive. There are good and bad days and I need to take them in stride.
I hope everyone has a great day!
13 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 761. I hope everybody has a good one!
17 Likes
Day 297 checking in odaat 
14 Likes
Hey fam, feeling well this morning and accomplished. Been reading a book called the 4 agreements and I really like it. Well what I can comprehend and remember, it’s very good. This week my chore is breakfast cook, yesterday I was so nervous so they just got cereal put out lol. Today I made pancakes and hash browns so mission accomplished and conquered a fear, I still don’t wanna be a chef tho. Have my eval today and eye doctor appointment, also scored a spot on the waiting list for dentist. My beautiful girls will be coming to visit tomorrow and I ordered some new colognes . Im feeling grateful to have this experience in my life much love have super successful best you can do days
25 Likes
Awwwwww he is so sweet, congratulations on your 20 days 
1 Like
This is so lovely to read, im glad you get to see your girls tomorrow and im super proud of the effort your putting in. I know its not easy but im so glad your feeling the benefits of it.
Just reading your post i feel such positive energy.
1 Like
This is fucking AWESOME!!! Congratulations Dana you are KILLING IT!!! 
2 Likes
Congratulations on your 20 days that’s amazing and Kevin is ADORABLE!!!
1 Like