2 years, 4 months and 28 days drug and alcohol free. I have the day off and toMorrow and I am going to my parents house after therapy at 11. I am gonna get my birthday present, which is getting my hair professionally done… I am pretty excited. That will be tomorrow at 6 pm but for now I am just gonna relax and do what I need to do. Also, the place where I live at raised my rent 280 dollars so I am kind of mad about that . I am hoping the person in charge is gonna call me later and figure something out because yeah… anyway life on life’s terms I guess. Choosing to stay sober and focus on my recovery though. Alright , ttyl
16 Likes
As you said to me, keep the faith. You can do this, maybe take a step back and look at it from an outward perspective.
3 Likes
Hey guys. Its day 54 today. I feel a bit sad today. I had the though of using prn to run away from my emotions and I actually convinced myself to go back for a moment. But i chose not to use and deal with my emotions in a more healthy way.
I just sat down and let the emotion run its course. I am still feeling down but thats okay.
Have a nice day guys. Peace.
10 Likes
I know exactly what you’re feeling because I’m also having this inexplicable resistance to the future. I know what I need to do to move forward - and it’s nothing a grown man should be apprehensive about - but I’m having the hardest time moving. I feel emotionally like a rat trapped in a cage and I just hide, like you said. It’s awful. I’ve been struggling over the last week thinking about drinking again. It’s awful. But you’re not alone.
5 Likes
It’s such a relief to know we don’t have to feel that way again! We are breaking out of our patterns of insanity! Good luck to you, and I’m sure your family has begun to notice as well. It is only getting easier/better!
Thank you! One-day at a time!
Thanks, you’re right. It’s puzzling. And that addict voice sneaking in, saying, “Here’s something that feels good” but you know it’s bullshit. 
@Rob11, @CB103036, @Misokatsu, @Staringupfromthewell, thank you guys 
- I appreciate you sharing with me. I am fortunate to have a therapy appointment today - just finished - and we got to dig into some of what you guys mentioned, working out what I’m feeling (including the reflexive “f___ you I won’t do it” behaviour - @Misokatsu you’re right on about that).
In therapy we talked about how I have a highly analytical, mechanically-minded way of thinking and doing, and while that’s useful for many things, it is not an emotionally aware and responsive way of living. My therapist has assigned me homework this week: disrupt my mechanical way of doing things, and insert some spontaneity, some connection, some sharing. I’m going to give some thought to what that might look like; take some time to explore the story of “how would I be living my days if my upbringing had been as much about how to feel and connect, as it was about what to do”.
14 Likes
I’m about to peel myself off of the couch and handle what I have to, but I can’t shake the urge to get a drink when I get home. Especially as hot as it is here; a cold beer would taste super good right now. 
Happy Wednesday all. Adults should get naps just like kids. Just sayin haha.
14 Likes
But you’re sober right!
Oh the chocolates I use to binge on.
It’s normal.
4 Likes
Checking in after a weekend away and I have to reset. I feel a bit like I’m falling apart. I feel so torn between who I want to be… I know I’m better sober but everyone around me is normalizing drinking so much and I’m struggling. I don’t like who I am when drinking is part of my life. I don’t like who I am when I’m angry at my husband for drinking every night. I was doing okay for a while without drinking while he was drinking but it does make it so much more challenging and I need to get back on track. I know I can do this.
15 Likes
Congratulations on your 1400 ODAATs Claudia!!
I hope you have a fantastic evening.
4 Likes
Good afternoon all checking in on day 334! Beautiful day out so I will be outside for most of it. Hope everyone has a great day and stays safe!
24 Likes
Preach!!!
3 Likes
Congratulations @SoberWalker Claudia on 1400 days! Hope you’re staying cool over there.
Congratulations @HillbillyChris Chris on 11 months! Keep it up!
3 Likes
Resetting is tough @Miranda, I reset a few days ago as well. But the important thing is you are back and being honest about it.
It must be so tough to be around people who drink all the time. We are social creatures and you are going to be influenced by those around you in both positive and negative ways.
Rather than thinking about things in the long term maybe just think about today and what you are going to do next. Get a clean day under your belt and go from there.
We are all here doing this one day at a time. We are with you.
7 Likes
Hey Miranda 
Good to see you again.
This shit really is hard. Duh 
I believe you really want to change and not drink. The first few months were very difficult for me. Extremely difficult. I was extremely angry. But I just knew I had to stop. I had to. It was killing me. Fat drunk and hungover is not how I want to approach my bronze years.
Then COVID hit hard and we couldn’t go anywhere. That actually helped me. If we hadn’t had this pandemic I don’t know if I’d be sober now. I was force to change and I guess isolate. I don’t know……I’m just sad to see you struggling. And I know you want this.
Now here’s the part I drop a thread on you in case you haven’t seen it yet or forgot about it. And of course a slogan.
if nothing changes
Nothing changes
And we’re the only ones that can change.
11 Likes
Glad your back Miranda!
4 Likes
Day 4 - I decided yesterday to do my check ins at the end of each sober day rather than the start as it feels more positive that way.
Today has been a reasonably good day. I’ve been tired, but not too hard on myself. It was a long work day but I work flexible hours so it means I can pick the kids up from school tomorrow and not have to worry about catching up on hours.
I must admit I’ve not done much recovery work today, in terms of being present with my feelings but I think tonight is a good chance to do that.
I hope you all have a good sober day.
13 Likes
Day 302 checking in
12 Likes