Hey,
Sorry this happened. It truly sounds it was completely accidental. Don’t be so hard om yourself. You noticed it had alcohol and you dint continue. That’s a victory right there. You had discipline and you are working through the emotions. You haven’t slipped you still got this.
Dazer you’re the best. Definitely expect to see me in that thread more. Beautifully written, thank you for the support as always.
Speaking only for myself, it was a very honest mistake and I understand your feelings of having that poison in your system. I encourage you to breath and forgive yourself this mistake. You did not set out to drink, it was not a slip or relapse though you may feel the physical allergy and the mental/emotional anguish of it.
Lean on the community for support to get you through the next few days and stand strong.
Tonight will be day 142 of no self harm.
Apologies for the lack of check ins. Need to get back to this daily. I am feeling much better physically thankfully. My work has still been ignoring me but I finally got confirmation I’m in a new training class that starts Monday. So I’ll be able to relearn everything I missed while sick and I’m still getting paid for both trainings.
I’ve once again stolen items I intended to harm myself with but haven’t. I threw all away except 2. I have no intention of using them but I’m still trying to convince myself to throw them away. At the very least they are thrown in the way back of my closet and I can’t even get to them if I wanted to.
My eating disorder has really flared up again. The last 2 days I have eaten carrots and tortilla chips and that’s it. My stomach shrank so much being sick for 2 weeks that I can’t seem to stomach a meal.
Something positive: wayyy back in 2013 the Xbox One was coming out. My cousin gave me his old xbox 360 because I never had a console. I played it once and my dad took it and never let me use it again. Well I got my first paycheck and I bought an xbox series S!!! It should be here Saturday. My dad can’t take this one since I bought it and if he tries I’ll straight up just report it stolen. I have proof of purchase saved already. Video games are so calming and grounded for me. I feel a little bit of that childhood excitement I’ve wanted a console for so long
Sober day 1581.
Little 4 day camping trip has commenced. Going to a Chris Stapleton concert tonight…and then some much needed rest from work.
Meeee too! So far we are going to see: Hank Williams junior, Rod Stewart, The Who!, and then a 4 day concert in Kentucky…everyone from Tenacious D to Alice in Chains…
Morning!
Heading into day 112 AF and it’s been 2 days no cigs…wasn’t so hard 
Remember…it’s better to be sober wishing you were drinking, than to be drunk wishing you were sober!
Greens my favourite colour if you didn’t pick that up
Day 111
Doing better today, slowly working my way back into the success habits for my personal plan. It’s amazing how little of a “break” I need to go full-blown backslide. Still not a great relationship with concepts like that.
I relate more to the ‘all or nothing’ type, but then the rest of life interrupts that mindset and the burn out shows up, so not sure how to rework that right now. Gonna keep coming back to it as an idea though.
As a RV technician…I fully support this photo. 
I don’t think that’s a need for a reset it was an honest mistake, it’s not like you have in and decided to have a drink. I picked up a friends drink by accident the other day it just wet my lips and I could taste the rum… luckily it just shocked me and didn’t trigger any urge to drink. I just put it straight down and went back to my cherry cola… although not exactly the same a similar situation, next time I’ll make my drink more obvious like three straws so I can pick it. Maybe next just spend a bit of time checking the can/ label. Hope you are feeling better now
Sounds amazing… I went to see Pearl jam a couple of weeks ago… that was epic
Feeling good again today…. End of term and still no alcohol! I haven’t got any plans for tomorrow evening so hope I can stay on track, but I feel like my whole attitude is beginning to change, and I really don’t feel like I want to get drunk… I’m starting to feel excited at the prospect of trying things sober.
Omg! Later, if you dont mind I would love to send you a message with a picture of something I need to fix
Beautiful work!! That is some serious time!! Congrats!!
That sounds like it would have been very painful. I suggest that my sponsees not worry about the amends until we get there… they have put the steps in a certain order for a reason. As we go through them our connection with our higher power, our peers and our inner wisdom strengthens. These strong foundations are all essential things to have as we face people we have harmed who may turn us away or react to us in a way that is upsetting.
It takes time Flannery. Time and living amends is what I am noticing is the most impactful with my 16 year old. I have had to sit infront of the firing range a few times now as my daughter unloaded all of her resentments onto me. It hurts, it hurts alot but as I take all those painfilled words from her my hope is that her lifetime pain will be lessened. That after all the hot tears and even hotter words she will find a little bit of peace inside her. If she can… its all worth it.
Sending you a massive hug.
So sorry Alycia. Sending you strength
I don’t know if I want you as my sponsor or mother! Such good words.
They could be worsened too at the moment because of the added aspect of withdrawing. I’m really sorry anxiety has been such a struggle for you Cassie. Hang in there though, long term, alcohol will only continue the cycle… and please reach out to your GP if it gets worse. Also, if you type in the forum search bar ‘anxiety in recovery’ or ‘anxiety’ you’ll find some threads that may have some helpful ideas x
If it’s a black tank hard pass…
Sure, send it. Been doing this for 18 years … Pretty much seen it all.
