Checking in on Day 10. Life has got crap again, no nice way of putting it. We have been given notice on our house as the landlord wants to sell. I have given up on stability for me, but my poor children have to cope with endless moves. It breaks my heart. If it wasn’t for them I would move to another part of the country where we could afford to buy, but they are happy here so will try and stick it out renting a little longer. Our country feels broken, when two people working with good wages can’t afford to buy a house
I hope everyone else is having a good day. Sorry for the spectacular downer.
That’s terrible news Jenny, I’m sorry. How old are your kids? I hope things work out for you. Would the kids consider a move if you explained it all to them. Northerners are definitely the better footballers.
I can’t even sell my flat it’s worth zero due to post Grenfell EWS issues…
Oh thank you, and so sorry you are experiencing issues. This country has its priorities wrong. Makes me so angry, when I am not despairing.
The kids are almost 13 and 11 and I just keep thinking we have to stick it out for a few more years. We have to choose my daughter’s secondary school this October so need to be settled by then. I have already explained to them that we will have to move as they get older. The stupid thing is I don’t want much, anything would do right now, but it isn’t to be. My parents still live in the house we moved to when I was 5, as do a lot of my friend’s parents. So sad I can’t provide that stability to my children.
Are you from your area? I’m a northerner/midlander whichever way you wanna look at it past Watford. I have a quarter of this flat and that’s a lot in zone 2. But it’s worth zero lol. No lenders will lend.
I sometimes think to myself, another year, another two years… My partner and I are desperate to move to the countryside. I work remotely, so does my wife, we could live in Mull and it wouldn’t matter. We hate cities, we are done with London.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is sometimes I do wonder whether we should just rip the plaster off and jump. What’s the worst that can happen? Kids are so resilient. They will be fine as long as you guys are fine and stable. No house is a home without people. I’m sorry you feel that you can’t provide that for them, but that’s not on you, it’s on the scabs in government and this shitty country. Be proud of what you are doing . Maybe jump.
Yes, we are both from here, and parents are both local. You are right about children being resilient, there is just so much guilt involved. I don’t want to move them away from their friends, don’t want to move away from my parents as they age (both my siblings already have). Being a grown-up sucks
I do think now is the time for tough choices. We have been lucky here as we have had 4 years. Before here we were given notice twice in a year. My poor children were so confused. Private renting isn’t for families like us though.
The countryside is wonderful, hope you make it. This house saved us in lockdown.
Hahahaha, brilliant! I am a lot more resilient myself now. These moves honestly broke me in the past. I am the type to have one home for the rest of my life, that you have to prise me out of. Now though, what will be will be!
Checking in Day 158
This is what today has truly been about. I really need to take action and start making better choices. I’m tired of talking about the changes that I want to make in my life and then “trying” to follow thru. One of my old sponsors told me that “trying is an excuse to fail”. And as much as I didn’t want to hear that and thought that was a tough-love sort of response… tough love is the only way I learn and I have honestly remembered her words for 15 years. I make choices everyday. Do I use drugs or do I stay clean? Do I exercise or do I choose not to? Do I eat healthy or do I not? Do I do my recovery routine this morning or do I leave it? I need to make the choices today that will guide me in how I envision myself and my life in the future. Bcuz those choices impact it. I do definitely do ODAAT for alot of things. But I gotta stop trying and instead just do it. Guess my old sponsor was right (who would’ve thot lol). Anyway, today I have eaten well, struggled with exercise but still showed up, and have done what I needed to do for my recovery. I’m happy with what I accomplished today Now just to make supper and stay focused on my portion sizes and avoid late night snacking and I’m good! Grateful for another day clean and sober and foe the ability to help others.
I love change which is odd as I’m a home body. I was pushed around a lot of houses as a kid though with divorces and new partners and other stuff. I just go with change as it’s more effort to swim upstream. It suits me.
Just on a Zoom meeting but internet connection not good. Worked this morning. Son#1 went back to his Dad’s and Sons #2, 3, and 4 are here. It is all a bit crazy with the new doggie too but I’m doing ok.
115 days
My heart is hurting, the house is grieving. I ended up going to the staff buffet dinner last night without my hubby. I was worried because I’m sad, and tired, but I’ve been looking forward to it for ages. So I went hoping it would take my mind off of the grief in the house.
It was weird because it was an awesome buffet free seafood, roasts and desserts and all anyone could think of was drinking. Barely anyone ate, one guy was really upset I wouldn’t drink with him for his birthday, like really offended. A few others were just buying drinks and setting them by me. I stood my ground, tired and sad as well. And eventually they have up. I had lots of good food, a few nice conversations, and I called it a night.
It’s funny because I brushed off the alcohol once, twice, three times in a light hearted I’m not drinking anymore, until I literally had to say to someone, no man- alcohol makes me want to die.
God I hope I can still muster some Will power to socialise sober in the future. Cause that was quite a turn off.
@Alisa Hi im still here, its so nice to be missed and thkught off, tahnk you.
Had really busy couple of days, and have started swimming again which has totally boosted my health physically and mentally.
Im nodding off typing this i woke up tor a bit its 1:30am here.
I have been busy trying new stuff and its nice to see your message but also a lovely reminder for me … that im slacking with my recovery(which happens, i dont get on here for a few days and my mind can try to take up space thinking about drink. Being here and actuve daily keeps my cravings away and keeps me on the journey)
Have a lovely dag/evening/morning where ever you are
I cant keep my eyes open for a change, the new activities are full of benefits.
I’m glad you went for a bit; I think when people pressure you to drink it’s about them and not you (us). I say I’ve done my time with it and I’m over it…or something along those lines.
Still sending hugs to you…
We have a school function this eve. This would be on day 9. My friends don’t yet know of my decision to quit alcohol. Not looking forward to being the ‘dull’ one at the party, but I am very happy with my decision still. I dont see any benefit there is using alcohol anymore. Sure hope that this doesn’t stand in the way of friendship. And if it does… so be it
Now just to make supper and stay focused on my portion sizes and avoid late night snacking and I’m good! Grateful for another day clean and sober and foe the ability to help others.
