Day 304 going steady my partner is going to Spain tomorrow with her mum and my daughter so gives me 17days to catch up on some sleep and some CA meetings hope everyone is well 
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I think this app is the alcohol free version of social media addiction, we know we shouldnāt be doing it but if it helps it helps.
Thanks sweet x reading lots atm
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Day 13 AF! I commit to my promise to myself and my family that I will not drink today. Iām so very greatful for all that I have.
Iāve notice that I have been binging on snack foods at night. I donāt usually eat junk food. Iām super strick and eat low carb diet. I recently lost 20 pounds and do not want to gain it back. I think Iām turning to snacking instead of wine. Need to stop this in its tracks before I undo all my weight loss progress.
My motivation/energy has been low this week and Iāve missed a few alarms and slept in instead of going to the gym. (something else to feel bad about, plus the increase snacking). Iāve always had insomnia and poor sleep habits. This past 2 weeks, Iāve slept better than ever, but it still doesnāt feel like enough!
I think Iām trying to do too many things at once. I canāt expect perfection. I need to give myself time to figure this out and not beat myself up on the other areas I donāt get perfect. I need to focus on not drinking. ODAAT!
Thank you for letting me share that. Have a great day everyone. Hope you all have peace and joy!
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Morning Check in
Checking in at Day 158
Have a wonderful day everyone!
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@Wakikki I can understand your feeling, but it was an honest mistake, and a few mouthfuls in isolation wonāt hurt you. Just maybe be aware of if you get any cravings, addiction can be a sneaky thing.
@Staringupfromthewell I think it is great you are owning yourself. I also feel like I should pretend I am cooler than I am. No, I am a boring middle-aged woman, and if people donāt like it they can fuck off.
@BrianP So sorry for your loss 
@Lilemm Nice to see you again
Day 710
Nice day today. Took daughter to work as she was bored being in the house all day while I am working. The students were all squealing ācuteā at her and she loved to show off while āhelpingā hand out papers, stamping quizzes, etc. This afternoon went to a park with the kids. My daughter played in the sandpit and my son hunted for bugs. At 9 and 13 I wonder how much longer these family afternoons will continue. I bet not much longer so better appreciate them while I can. And made a yummy curry for dinner.
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Day 52 and day 2 with contacts, was able to get them in good today. I donāt feel them as much as yesterday and I love being able to see. Iām doing ok, but I am struggling a little bc in future tripping, I miss my girls and Iām not sure if I want to try and get a job here where im staying now, or go back to Tupper when my time is up and be with my girls and more then likely jobless. Part of me says to stay here and then part of me doesnāt want to bc I donāt want my girls to be without there dad, yes they can come see me but I know if Iām working it wonāt be as often as I think. I donāt want them to hold grudges against me and think I abandoned them, I mean look at all the resentment I held against my family and they were all there for me. If anyone has any good insight on this I will gladly hear it. But anyways much love today all
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Hey all, checking in on day 768. I hope everybody has a good one!
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I can completely understand the pull btwn the 2 options. This is just my opinion, but if I were u in ur position I would stay and get a job and begin that future for urself and ur girls. It will be hard bcuz I know how much u love them. But I just think that by staying and getting a good job, u are moving forwards for a better future. I would be a bit hesitant to go back bcuz of the lack of job and then worry about relapse due to boredom or falling back into old ways. Iām not saying u would if u chose to go back. But if I were you, Iād feel like I was going backwards a bit if I chose to return to Tupper. Youāre girls can still visit and you can always have that conversation with them about you staying so that they know ur not just abondoning them. I think they would really want a healthy dad 
Ultimately the choice is urs. We often know the answer in our hearts, we just need to listen
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Good to see you back fighting for your self!! 
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Hi Emma! Itās good to have u back here! Iām sorry things have been rough for u tho the past while 
but this is a new start with new opportunities to gain that sobriety that u want Iām so glad ur back
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Day 278.89
Good morning fam,
Itās 5:13 am here. I woke up around 4am. Havenāt been able to sleep. The grocery store opens up at 6am. Gonna sneak out to grab some balloons and flowers for the wifeās bday. I still remember when she invited me to her 15th bday party. What a trip. Where the time go?! Geez.
@Mindymoo The wife and kid are playing Fall Guys. Not sure if yall played it. Itās like some tater tot lookin dudes that go through obstacle courses. Itās hilarious 
. Check it out. Itās free to download. Enjoy your day at the Pizza spot.
@Butterflymoonwoman I have been eating abuncha junk foods again. Iām not suppose to cuz it might trigger my heart burn. But idk what else to eat. Iāve cut back on the soda tho. I only drink a few on the weekends. Hope u feel better.
@BrianP Iām sorry for your loss, man. Stay strong, brotha.
@Piglet86 good morning to u. Sober is the way. We got this.
Alrighty, Ima jump off for a minute. Have a great day!
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I relate to ur post so much! I too have been struggling with my diet. I was doing keto and and lost around 20lbs! My body couldnāt handle it anymore so I was forced to stop and now my snacking and diet have been horrendous 
energy levels are low foe the gym also. Iām currently trying to workout lol but my body just doesnāt want to cooperate. But u mentioned a good point tho.
I think we as alcoholics and addicts go to extremes (at least I do). Itās very much all or nothing thinking and I struggle with finding that balance and being gentle with myself if I fall with my eating or exercise. Iām also a perfectionist to an extent and have high expectations of myself. Donāt know if u can relate to that too. We are human beings and not robots lol. Some days will be great and others not so much. But as long as we are patient with try to be consistent, I think that is what matters. U seem to be doing very well tho and congratulations on 13 days!!! Great work!!
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Checking in day 8 141 days clean of cutting
10 hours clean of the other 
Something i finally admitted to myself that im addicted too 
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I do agree Dana, I shouldnāt even be future tripping. Iāve only been away for two months. This is better then then losing their father forever
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Ur absolutely right. Ur a very insightful and self aware person also I feel. As hard as it may be not to have ur girls around all the time, I just think that itās important to focus on u so that u have ur recovery and ultimately (like u said), ur girls have their dad and a healthy dad at that! Are there better supports out where u are also?
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Hello friends. Checking in on day 406. A bit sore from a bike ride yesterday, but feeling good today. I really enjoy quiet coffee on summer mornings. Without the spectre of alcohol haunting me. I hope everyone is ok today. @Alycia I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible tragedy.
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Congrats on day 13! And your are 100 Percent correct when you sayā¦
I eat crazy healthy 90 percent of the time, but the first time I made it on my long stretch of no alcohol I just had to let go. I snacked when I wanted and I ate when I wanted and honestly I might have gained a few pounds but I lost it all and it balanced out because of the calories I was saving on alcohol anyway. I mean I still try to make slightly healthier versions of the food I was craving but the effort I put in was in not drinking and not worrying about food for that time. My sleep also balanced out, although I truly felt exhausted for a while. It takes time to adjust but keep doing what youāre doing. Keep doing that self talk.
Be kind to yourself and know that you are on the right path.
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Good morning everyone,
I donāt remember when or how I began to slip. After my last long last sober stretch, itās seems it was a slow and gradual process until I completely wear off the deep end. My weekend away I drank A LOT and then came home and couldnāt stop. That seemed to happen so fast and after feeling anxious and sick at night and hungover in the morning I would swear I wouldnāt drink the next night. Coffee and water helped me feel better, but then afternoon would come and I would get a splitting headache and feel nauseous and all I could think about was having a drink to make me feel better. This is a twisted merry go round. Thank you @Its_me_Stella for being there for me and helping me get off this ride. I know thereās more work to come but after making it through last night when I was so close to having a drink I know I can do this again. One craving at a time. This is what I want. I know Iām better sober. Iām going to have to start joining meetings. You guys are all helped so much but summer is one of the hardest times and Iām going to have to work harder at this. I have a rehearsal dinner and a wedding coming up the first week of August and I am absolutely 100% excited to be taking part sober.
Thank you all for listening.
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