117 days 
Riding the waves. Sobriety, existence, life and death. Isn’t it strange how a death stirs all the memories up?
Trying to sit with my feelings. I’ve definitely coped in very unhealthy ways in the past to my pain. Self destructive, distract myself from the pain mechanisms.
Trying to just be with my feelings, not react.
Have a great day everyone.
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Good evening everyone. Checking in on day 338. Covid is hitting pretty good today. Haven’t left home and it’s been getting to me. Had a ton of work to do before Monday when our new fence and stove gets out in so that drained me today. Also been getting some mixed feelings about my one year mark coming up. Not sure if it’s normal, but since I’ve entered recovery my mindset has been I have to hit that year mark. But I know I’m overthinking it and just have to do what I’ve been doing for 338 days now and do it a day a at a time and keep being happy. Hope everyone stays safe and takes care!
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Hey just checking in… still clean… I had a great day at work!!! I also saw my boyfriend for visitation for the first time and it went so gooood 
🥹🥹:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: I am so happy and just so glad about my Higher Power taking me through this… I am so amazed… anyway just letting you guys know how it went. Hope you had a great day!!
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Really glad u had a wonderful visit 
thanks for the update! Hope u have a great night!
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Checking in 5days. Thanks for the support.
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Hi guys Kat checking in Day 50.
An ok day but I neglected my kids by sleeping until 4 I couldn’t believe it. They are old enough to find food for themselves however. But not proud of self.
Needed a break (and so did my roommate) so had to say No when the 14 year old asked if he could stay a few extra days. I said he could come Wed and he accepted.
Did go to meeting tonight.
Love Kat
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Checking in on day 2. Heading to the airport with a friend and we have hours to spend there. Very dangerous territory but I can’t avoid it. I will order a soft drink before I even have time to think about it.
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Good plan!
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Checking in. Just completed day 2, another sober nights sleep with no hangover in the AM. Hope everyone had a great day 
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Evening Check in
Day 160
Can’t wait for a good sleep tonight. Also looking forward to tmrw as its Monday and a fresh week. Back to exercising, eating right, and more recovery related stuff. Really going to make an effort to make better choices for healthy living.
Something I’m going to think about:
Have a great night everyone!
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Hello friends. Checking in on day 408. I went for a nice long bike ride along the shore and got caught in a rain storm on the way back. I was soaked! It was refreshing. Took my kid to soccer practice tonight and we made smoothies. All in all a good day. Not destroyed by drink.
I hope everyone is well. Stay safe and strong.
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Day 145 of no self harm
My grandpa has another UTI. he’s been in and out of the hospital since December and while it has only been minor complications( almost exclusively UTI’s) since around March. it all started when he nearly died of sepsis. He recovered but had to get his gallbladder removed. that was probably late March or so. The issue is they have to give you a catheter when you’re knocked out for surgery. A catheter temporarily weakens your bladder and makes it difficult to pee on your own sometimes. My grandpa needed a catheter for a while until he was able to get his bladder strength back. Ever since then we have been going through this cycle of he gets a catheter, gets it out but then gets a UTI, and then needs a catheter again. I really think it has to be some kind of medical error because he has has at least 6 UTI’s in the last year, when he never had one before. I don’t know how much longer he can keep going like this. He’s 83. His doctor can never get him in and my grandpa of course never says anything until he’s in severe pain so we have to go to the ER.He saves his money very well, but someone has taken him to the ER at least once every other week MINIMUM which has racked up incredible debt. My grandpa is so anxious about it and he gets so frustrated so quickly whenever anyone tries to calm him down. He’s been prescribed medication for his current UTI but that has side effects of falling and cognitive decline. Yesterday he called the entire family insisting we had called him and told him we needed to talk to him when no one had called him. It’s breaking my heart to see him like this and my family isn’t exactly helpful. Just the other day My grandpa noticed this string on his catheter that you could use to tie to your belt loop so the bag stays put. My grandpa was having a hard time tieing it so my aunt just threw it away. They have 0 patience with him and I know that just makes him more upset. I am incredibly frustrated with how he hides everything until it’s bad, but I never lash out at him or show aggression. That helps no one.
I don’t want to make this about me, I know it’s my grandpa struggling. It’s just, if my grandpa isn’t around, I don’t have any good people in my family left. He’s my world right now. He’s the only shred of stability and safety I have. My plan has always been to ditch my family when he passes, but I wasn’t prepared for things to go so downhill so fast.
Something positive: my Xbox got here. It’s a lot of fun. I have to buy a tv because my laptop wouldn’t work as a monitor, but I’m supposed to get paid any day now so I’ll be able to play in my own room instead of having to wait for the living room tv to be free.
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- Coffee. Back to work today. I’m OK. Did my weekend sober and clean and have every intention to do the same during my workweek. I hope and expect you all will do the same. Because it’s the only way for us to have a decent life. Have as good a week as you all can friends. Love from Amsterdam in summer.
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I think you should get some wasp spray. If you use it spray it down to the ground first And make sure that it doesn’t go towards your eyes. If there’s a pest it can be used as a deterrent. I’m real sorry you feel scared.
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Checking in day 412
Was a good day still sober 
it rained and rained all day it was beautiful.
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Long time no see! Welcome back! 
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#Day 1405 
Still enjoying my weekend 
Plans for today? A walk, getting the groceries and doing necessary housechores. Saw a Osprey yesterday ànd a weasel, both animals who you don’t see often in the Netherlands. It was cool! A little gift of nature 
My picture of proof of the Osprey.
Have a good day all of you! My card of the day was:
"Today I do not suppress my feelings of discomfort trough doing to much of… "
See you tomorrow!
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Congratulations to 1 sober year! 
Hey all, checking in on day 771. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in at 1 year + 1 day sober. 
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